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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

sold something on gumtree, for cash, 10 days ago, AIBU to NOT accept it back?

57 replies

fluffyscafe · 01/04/2014 12:50

have nc'd for this as it is making me feel uneasy

sold one of my old handbags on gumtree, to a girl who lived about 100 miles away. (I say girl, she looked late teens and could drive) about a week and a half ago

it was a designer one, an old Louis Vuitton i had had for about ten years that was quite ugly, was a gift from an ex, and i hated and never used she really wanted it, I offered to send it to her and she could pay by paypal, as I felt bad her coming all that way, but she insisted, oh no its fine, I really want it today

so i said, ok fine. she turned up, was really happy with it and paid cash. I even knocked off £20 off the asking price for her petrol as she was a nice sweet girl and clearly absolutely loved the bag

then today I get a text out of the blue along the lines of "my mum found out I drove all that way to buy the bag, she is not happy with me, she wants me to return it, I am so sorry" etc

I have ignored it so far as tbh for one, I don't want it back, and for 2, I cant afford to pay her back as the reason I was selling it is because I am skint ! I am also 9 months preg and due to give birth any day and don't really need the stress tbh

haven't replied, I don't know what to say to her, I mean how is it my problem if her mum's pissed off with her :o fgs she could drive, so she must be at least 17, she is an adult IMO and it was her choice to buy it I am not a horrible person and I do feel bad as I don't want to cause her problems

aibu to ask for help? what shall I do, shall I reply?? if so what shall I say. eeek.

OP posts:

ZenGardener · 01/04/2014 13:50

I agree, just email back with "Sorry, no returns". You might find it's been used, smelling of smoke, ripped. Who knows what. It's not like she didn't see it before she bought it.

Original poster

fluffyscafe · 01/04/2014 13:55

thanks all

think I will just ignore for now

and if she texts again just say no returns and advise her to sell it on

I am a softy though and she was a really nice girl so I feel bad :(

OP posts:

HecatePropylaea · 01/04/2014 13:58

That doesn't even make any sense. Even if she returned the bag, she still had driven all the way in the first place only now she'd have to do it all again to return the bag! So the distance she travelled is a ridiculous excuse.

I agree she probably used it and doesn't want to keep it. But she has the option to sell it herself to try to get her money back. If you reply, then I'd suggest that. I have sold it to you, as far as I am concerned, that is final. If you don't want the bag, I suggest you sell it yourself.

Although if she has soiled or damaged it in some way, that might be why she's trying to get you to take it back.

Or - it may be that the bag you get back is not the one you sold! That happens.

Topaz25 · 01/04/2014 14:19

I don't see what being pregnant's got to do with it. It would be out of order in any circumstances.

It would, I just think it's even worse when she knows the OP is pregnant so needs the money for the baby and needs to avoid any unnecessary stress.

glasgowsteven · 01/04/2014 14:35

So she will be doubly out of pocket for petrol

HappyAgainOneDay · 01/04/2014 15:17

How do you really know that she lived 100 miles away? Did she just tell you that and you believed her? Or is there a clue on Gumtree? I've never used it.

BrianButterfield · 01/04/2014 15:32

It could be a scam where they give you back a fake version - stranger things have happened.

Original poster

fluffyscafe · 01/04/2014 15:39

I only have her word for where she lives. And yeah I've heard of that scam too x

OP posts:

Comeatmefam · 01/04/2014 15:47

Yes either she's used it for a night out, it's a scam, she's flaky or she's bloody audacious!

Either way, don't reply anything other than 'Sorry no returns - why don't you sell it on, you will probably make a profit since I knocked £20 off for your petrol money anyway'.

Congrats on your baby and hope all goes well on that front! x

Rauma · 01/04/2014 15:53

Why respond at all? I would just ignore, the instant you do that's you in a conversation..

You are not a shop.

LongTimeLurking · 01/04/2014 16:14

She probably used it for a one off event and wants the cash back. Or maybe she is returning you a knock-off fake version?

Or just trying to pull a fast one.

This is a second hand item and you are not a retailer. Sold as seen and inspected. No returns or refunds. Ignore all contact from her.

mercibucket · 01/04/2014 16:29

people use gumtree to avoid exactly this kind of nonsense
just ignore or send a nice short text back
you could block her number as well

MrsMopOnTop · 01/04/2014 16:40

I would be careful and say no. It was on tv ages ago that this is a known scam and you get a fake bag back xx

NatashaBee · 01/04/2014 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WeAreEternal · 01/04/2014 16:47

I had this with a pushchair I sold via gumtree.
I hoped for a quick local sale so opted for it over eBay.

The woman that contacted me lived 150 miles away but was very interested and wanted to drive down that evening for it, and she did.

A few days later she contacted me and asked to return the pushchair as her husband wasn't happy about her driving so far for it and spending so much money on it.
I just replied with "sorry I am not interested it buying it back"
But I did offer to give her email address to some of the other people who contacted me about it so that she could sell if on if she wished.
She tried for a while to convince me to take it back and even threatened to just drive to my house and not leave until I gave her a refund, but I made it clear she would have a wasted journey as I would not be buying it back.
She then stopped contacting me so I assume she either decided to keep it or sell it on.

Original poster

fluffyscafe · 01/04/2014 16:58

oh ffs she is bloody texting me again

how do you block a number on an iphone (am technophobe) ?

honestly I don't need this shit :(

OP posts:

RedFocus · 01/04/2014 17:06

Press contact - right hand corner and click on the i for info and scroll down and it should be at the bottom.

RedFocus · 01/04/2014 17:06

Obviously do this when the text is open lol

Original poster

fluffyscafe · 01/04/2014 17:11

thank you! done !! grrr bloody selling stuffs a mine field

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 01/04/2014 17:12

Speaking as a bossy mum who would get pissed off if one of mine had spent money on a designer bag, especially if they then tried to scrounge from me, the girl needs to deal with her mother's grumbling and learn the lesson.
She's old enough to do the whole action/consequences thing and deal with her parent herself.
Keep the money and don't feel guilty.

ThatOtherTime · 01/04/2014 17:12

I can't see any harm in sending her a quick text to say you are unable to refund her. You don't need to give any reason but you could suggest she sell it on.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 01/04/2014 17:13

Save her number then click on it. There should be a block option. I had this with a pram I sold on there. They go for £150+ secondhand but for mega quick sale ( I really needed the space) I advertised it for £60 and accepted £40 for it. A man came for it, checked it over, paid and left. The next day I received a text saying one of the bar was broken at the back but they were keeping it anyway. I said why are you telling me? He replied that he wouldn't have bought something "snide" from me and it's only right I knew. I said yes yes you're right. Bring it back, I'll refund half and sell the accessories on again. Because I don't think it has anything to do with you opening it up and forcing it closed again when you couldn't figure it out do you? Mobile silence after that. My neighbour saw him bend the chassis in half and throw it in the back of his van in a rage. :o

RedFocus · 01/04/2014 17:14

No worries fluffy, glad I could help

CecilyP · 01/04/2014 17:22

Ignore. It is her bag now and her responsibility. Don't feel bad; she saw it, she inspected it, there was nothing wrong with it and she seemed happy with it. You are not Marks and Spencer!

It seems very likely she needed it for a one off event. If she doesn't want it any more, the onus is now on her to sell it.

Even if gumtree had a feedback system, what on earth could she say that was negative - you have done nothing wrong.

Original poster

fluffyscafe · 01/04/2014 17:23

I sent her a quick friendly message first just saying I would not be taking it back, sold as seen etc, and advised her to sell it on

I am sure she will be able to as its a popular bag

and perhaps she'll think twice next time :o

OP posts:

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