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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can anyone save my sanity and tell me how they felt when sleep deprived...

70 replies

KeepSmiling123 · 31/03/2014 20:19

Ds2 is a terrible sleeper and I get between 3-6 hours of very broken sleep a night. We are dealing with the sleep issues and this has pretty much been the same since he was born. I'm absolutely exhausted. I just wanted to check my feelings are normal for someone so tired. Depending on how bad the night was I feel really emotional, I get easily tearful, feel very alone, lack patience and just feel down. I don't think I am depressed just tired. I am happy most the time but get these waves of these feelings which sometimes are overwhelming.

OP posts:

formerbabe · 31/03/2014 20:23

I felt so tired that I thought I had depression...once I started to sleep normally, it lifted!

Whiteshoes · 31/03/2014 20:25

Yep.

Just felt really down, anxious rather than tearful, lonely, lost all resilience, found the everyday v hard.

Now just up twice a night and it's much much better. I did think it might be pnd but it is fixed by sleep.

My immense sympathies. It's bloody awful.

SizzlesSit · 31/03/2014 20:26

Totally normal. I've lost of the times I've sat and cried out of exhaustion before going to work in the morning.

How old is your DS? What techniques have you tried? We ended up co-sleeping for a long time to get some sleep. Gradual withdrawal also seems to have some success for some people. We still havent broken it but its a lot better now.

Theres lots of advice on the sleep board. Good luck

FederationPresidentBarryFife · 31/03/2014 20:28

I feel for you - finally starting to get regular full nights here after 4 years of broken sleep and I feel like a new person. We even had sex!!!! It will get better but yep: irritable, hungry all the time, incredibly tearful and over reacted to even the slightest stress. Sleep deprivation is not used as a torture device for nothing.

JoJoCK · 31/03/2014 20:28

I too am so sleep deprived with DS that I feel depressed, tearful, anxious etc etc OP. He is delightful during the day so that lifts the fog a lot but I'm not able to do much more than look after him. My friends with older children (he is 14 months) assure me it is normal, it will pass, I am trying the right things. (I have tried all the usual techniques apart from CC and CIO).

formerbabe · 31/03/2014 20:28

I also used to cry a lot! And eat too much chocolate because it gave me a little lift!

Op...how old is your youngest. I sleep trained my dd at 6 months and all our lives improved!

addictedtosugar · 31/03/2014 20:30

Yep, all the above. Plus generally living in a fog.

Tho mine was combined with (or contributed to?) PND, and antidepressants did make it lift enough to be able to see the finer side of life at times.

Hope you get some longer patches of sleep soon - getting 4 straight hrs most nights was a turning point for me.

HowContraryMary · 31/03/2014 20:30

6 hours sleep is the thin end of normal.

How much sleep do you get day? do you get the opportunity to cat nap?

I tend to go to bed at 9pm and get up at 4am ...DH goes to bed at 1am and gets up at 6am, but he will cat nap from 6pm to 8pm.

Mim78 · 31/03/2014 20:31

Same as you. My ds is 5 weeks and I "waves" exactly describes the feeling if tiredness induced depression I get. Then I feel fine when I get some catch up sleep!

Original poster

KeepSmiling123 · 31/03/2014 20:32

DS2 is 10mths. He has a suspected food intolerance which we are trying to isolate which causes terrible reflux which is central to the issue I think. He is delightful in the day which helps a lot. I also have a very active 3 year old so not a hope of sleeping or resting in the day.
Even reading the responses is making me well up!

OP posts:

eddielizzard · 31/03/2014 20:33

i felt like absolute shit. short temper, inability to see the bigger picture or put things in perspective. everything was the end of the world. i felt depressed, very rarely happy. negative outlook. the works. headaches. just awful. there's a very good reason why they use lack of sleep as a form of torture.

anything we can help with getting your baby to sleep more?

missmagnum · 31/03/2014 20:34

I think what you have described is very normal for someone very tired. I get very low and emotional, feel very overwhelmed and alone with it all And extremely tearful. When things were really bad I took the odd half day from work just to catch up on sleep.

Hope things improve for you soon.

Original poster

KeepSmiling123 · 31/03/2014 20:34

6 hours is on a really, really good night - maybe once every couple of weeks? And then it is broken by being up at least 4 or 5 times on a great night to 12-15 times on a bad night.
Just wanted to make sure what I was feeling was normal!

OP posts:

Lariflete · 31/03/2014 20:35

Same as every one else really but also, my entire body used to ache and I could barely remember conversations I'd had 10 minutes earlier so I started worrying there was something seriously wrong.
I will never forget the 16th February 2012 when I had my first good night sleep in over a year.
I can honestly say that I will never forget that time of sleep deprivation as it was the worst time of my life.
I hope it gets better for you very soon - you will feel fantastic!

Safmellow · 31/03/2014 20:35

Yes, all sounds normal - inability to cope, irritability, not able to view things rationally. Physically I had hot and cold sweats and chest pains! It's rubbish - hope things improve for you soon OP.

MrsJamin · 31/03/2014 20:35

I felt kind of drunk, like I wasn't totally 'with it'. I forgot stuff, was quite clumsy, couldn't give things my proper attention. I used to feel really frustrated and easily angered too. Horrid. If you can do anything to get some more sleep in the day then do. Does your DS1 have naps in the day or is in any childcare?

unintentionalthreadkiller · 31/03/2014 20:35

It's awful. I hallucinated when it was really bad.

Coldlightofday · 31/03/2014 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

KeepSmiling123 · 31/03/2014 20:37

Not sure if anyone can help, I bf, co-sleep,etc. It is reflux he struggles with and we are seeing the GP about this and now being referred to a paediatrician. He is off dairy and been tested for a couple of other things.

OP posts:

missmagnum · 31/03/2014 20:38

Mine was due to reflux too. Keep pushing for meds and tests.

eddielizzard · 31/03/2014 20:39

is his cot raised so that he's not lying flat?

disclaimer: i have no idea about reflux in babies. i have 20 years experience as an adult only.

i would suggest posting a thread about his reflux in children's health. lots of people have gone through this and may have some good advice.

NewtRipley · 31/03/2014 20:40

Yy to all these. Tearful, thought I was depressed, was a bit I think. Drunk.

I gradually got used to it, but

Did not realise how out of it I was until both mine went to school and it was like a fog had lifted.

I chose not to have a third mostly because i knew I couldn't tolerate the sleep deprivation; and mine wern't that bad sleepers!

There 's a reason sleep deprivation is used by torturers.

Some people cope better than others

missmagnum · 31/03/2014 20:40

Have a look at living with reflux website and Facebook group, lots of experience and tips on there, plus much needed support from others going through or been through it.

Original poster

KeepSmiling123 · 31/03/2014 20:41

Thank you all, sorry for anyone who has been through it or also going through it but lovely to know I am not losing my mind - 'coldlightofday' you are absolutely spot on,I feel utterly broken and 'MrsJamin' my mum actually thought I was drunk the other day! I do have two days of childcare but I have to work on these days

OP posts:

Eyelet · 31/03/2014 20:41

Dd2 was a beautiful sleeper until four months.

Its got worse and worse, and worse and worse, usually now I get 3-4hours very broken sleep a night. We cosleep but that I think makes it worse. DH is on duty until midnight so I can sometimes snatch a few hours ifI am lucky.

I feel.sick most of the day, I eat far far too much snacky crap and drink too much coffee because it is the only way I can stay up right. I have a job where I work compressed hours and I have to use my brain - most of the time I simply cannot think at all - I spend hours in tears and I have been assessed as suffering from clinical depression. I am convinced sleep deprivation is playing a part.

Dd2 is nearly ten months. For six months I have been hanging on by a thread. Tonight, sick with a cold and exhausted I fed her and put her in her cot - it took two hours of her screaming but she is now asleep. This didn't leave her, just sat by the cot but I am officially in four years of having children past the point of having energy left to care if they cry before sleeping.

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