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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can anyone save my sanity and tell me how they felt when sleep deprived...

70 replies

KeepSmiling123 · 31/03/2014 20:19

Ds2 is a terrible sleeper and I get between 3-6 hours of very broken sleep a night. We are dealing with the sleep issues and this has pretty much been the same since he was born. I'm absolutely exhausted. I just wanted to check my feelings are normal for someone so tired. Depending on how bad the night was I feel really emotional, I get easily tearful, feel very alone, lack patience and just feel down. I don't think I am depressed just tired. I am happy most the time but get these waves of these feelings which sometimes are overwhelming.

OP posts:

jaggythistle · 01/04/2014 00:05

DC not DB! ! !

scaredoflabour · 01/04/2014 00:11

My dc have actually slept well but i did suffer fron a skin diseaese which meant i quite literally had no sleep for more than 10mins for 4 months.
It felt insane. I drove myself to A&E at one point and begged to be sedated which they did. I had bi ops etc. Still no clue what caused it.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 01/04/2014 00:31

Still up with my 13mo dd
I often feel Irritable, tearful at times, forgetful, overwhelmed.
Out of my depth.
Tired. Miserable.

Typing it out has made me feel tearful. I haven't slept a full night since ds was born 3.5 yrs ago.
for you.

RaRaTheNoisyLion · 01/04/2014 00:36

Do you have a partner?

Does your bed time begin the second he gets home (assuming he isn't at home during the day,

If not do it from now on. He is on duty til midnight and you musnt be disturbed until then. From midnight you're on call.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 01/04/2014 00:43

I was a night owl more than a lark so the actual disturbed nights weren't too killing however trying to function normally before 10 am was punishing.

I felt murderous when DH innocently answered someone's question at 16 weeks great thanks, pfb is sleeping so well, when actually he was just starting a growth spurt and I was creeping around trying not to disturb Daddy's slumbers.

I tried to avoid driving when sleep deprived. Scary was getting out at a destination thinking were there really no red lights was it green all the way or did I just sleep-drive my way through them...?

Good luck OP.

Poughle · 01/04/2014 02:44

Thanks for posting this, it's so good to know that there are others going through the same thing! Op I also have an active nearly 3 year old and a 10 month old. The 10 month old wakes between 8 and 12 times a night currently. Sometimes it's 4 times in the space of 1 hour, that's actually not so bad as then I get a larger chunk afterwards, it's being woken every 45 minutes throughout the night that sends me round the bend.

What you're feeling is totally normal but it's hell

eddielizzard · 01/04/2014 08:25

i remember dh turning round to me one morning and saying 'well that was a great night wasn't it? makes all the difference to have a good night's sleep.' i had been up all night with dd and dh slept right through it.

i could have murdered him. and i type that with real emotion. it's only my colossal will power that stopped me!

Supercosy · 01/04/2014 08:35

It is an absolute killer. I remember having to go back to work 3 days a week when Dd was 6 months old and being literally up half the night with her. UGH. It was so horrible. There is a photo of me at work during that time and I just look like I've been bodysnatched! You just "get through it". Lot's of coffee, sugary snacks, moaning to likeminded friends. It's so bloody hard. It really does pass though. It feels like it's never going to end but it does. Huge hug for you. x

mrsjay · 01/04/2014 08:46

I felt sick all the time has a weird pit of my stomach feeling I was always confused and i remember tripping a lot, sleep deprivation is used as torture I know why it was horrible

SizzlesSit · 01/04/2014 08:55

Definitely push for meds for reflux. We finally got some that worked when DS was 12 months. The difference was unbelievable - he slept longer than 45mins!!!!

Still having trouble at 2.6 years :-( but its twice a night now instead of 8 times so I feel vaguely more human (except Im now pregnant and suffering insomnia so have some very bad nights which arent DS' fault!)

feckawwf · 01/04/2014 09:13

Sane here-currently getting around 3-4 hours a night this has been for over 4 years now I'm literally exhausted. Feel sick every day, have a constant headache, general body aches, feel dizzy and drunk and pick up every cold/bug going. The irritation is the worst though I'm so snappy with DH and my kids

Odaat · 01/04/2014 09:24

Oh God - sympathies to you OP. I remember the sleep deprivation being absolute torture.

I never thought Iwould sleep again. I had Pnd though , so even when dd slept I could not due to the anxiety. It was awful and most say it is the single most hardest part of having a baby.

I have been very fortunate that dd now sleeps through - however I sleep much better since anti ds too- more relaxed and no anxiety. Its a miracle.

I plan to get pregnant this year though- so no doubt this sleeping period is going to be short lived! We must be mad to do it all over again...

mrsjay · 01/04/2014 09:26

I always remember how obsessed with sleep i got I would dream about sleeping when i actually got any me and the dh would fight to go to bed first and argue about who's turn it was

Cheepypeepy · 01/04/2014 10:02

i feel ok on my own doing things and managing the DCs or with DP, when I speak to anyone else I fall into a rambling incoherent mess . .

I have to go back to work soon!!!

8 mo wakes up at least every 2 hours and has stopped sleeping in the day

when does it change

addictedtosugar · 01/04/2014 11:06

Odaat
if its any consolation, we went for no 2, as there was no way I could work with the level of night wakes.
DS2 was a dream. Max 2 wakes per night from birth (so cluster fed til about 9, fed 1am, 4am, 7am). By 3 months, he was on one feed a night. It was absolute bliss - aided by the fact the baby monitor was rigged up between DS1 and DH. I got more sleep with the newborn (and still getting to DS1 frist a couple of times a night) than i did doing all DS1's wakes. No 2 can be different.

Cheepy do you really want the answer to that?? DS1 was about 2.5 before we got down to 0-1 wakes a night. That was usually around 2am, so if I didn't get to bed early enough, my 4 hr block never happened - he was up for the day at 5.30 ;(

He's lovely now tho - nearly 5.

Odaat · 01/04/2014 13:07

Thanks addicted! No two are the same, so here's hoping :)

whoneedssleepanyway · 01/04/2014 13:48

My DD2 woke every hour in the night until she was 8 months old.

I used to cry every day and would fantasise about being run over so I could be in a hospital bed and have a rest....

I would even dread going to bed as it was worse to go to sleep just to be woken up again.

My GP told me chronic sleep deprivation has the same symptoms as depression.

I really feel for you OP, it is a tough tough time. I used to survive on cans of coke and sugar donuts.

Things got better for us at 8 months when we did some sleep training but she didn't properly sleep through until she started school...!!!! Although was much much better from age 2 onwards.

Hope things get better for you soon.

aworkingmummy · 01/04/2014 14:34

Being sleep deprived is awful. I feel hungover, flu like, sick, headache, cry very easily, miserable, zero libido (why would I want sex when I could be sleeping?!) feel like I'm on a relentless, bleak treadmill with no end in sight. When DS wakes in the night, I struggle to get back to sleep too, so start to get anxious about not sleeping making things worse.Working full time doesn't help much either. But sometimes, when DS has a run of a few days of sleeping through until 5.30/6am I start to feel like my old self.
Lost count of the times I've broken down properly sobbing because all I want to do is sleep and hysterically think to myself is it really that much to ask!
It's better than it was (he's 2 now) but still bloody hard work.

WillSingForCake · 01/04/2014 18:39

I used to cry every day and would fantasise about being run over so I could be in a hospital bed and have a rest....

I felt the same. I'd also seriously considered deliberately dropping a hammer on my foot, so I'd be in plaster & someone else would have to sort out my DD in the night.

It got hideous. DD started sleeping through around 4 months, but by then my sleep patterns were so messed-up that I couldn't sleep even when exhausted. Just used to lay there crying all night. Ended up on sleeping tablets which I actually only needed to take short-term as they seemed to sort out my sleep patterns. I'd also find it reassuring to know the tablets were in the house - it would take away the panic about not being able to sleep.

I'm expecting a new baby any day now, and although I'm thrilled and he's very much wanted, I am so worried about coping with a toddler, a newborn, and terrible sleep deprivation.

Smilesandpiles · 01/04/2014 18:52

At first I was moody. Then tearful. Then depressed. Then everything got surreal, as if I was living in a dream - very weird. Now 11 years on, it's normal. Even if he sleeps through (rarely) I'm still awake. My body clock is used to it now.

To make matters worse, if I sleep for as long as I used to, I end up with migrane from too much sleep . Although this is extreme.

The point is, it does get easier and you will get used to it. Try to sleep when you can but you get through it.

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