to wonder why people are bothered at not getting any thing from their partners for mother's day?

[Magmar]

Feeling liberated by a recent name change.

I really don't understand. My DS is 4 months old and I didn't even really give it a thought. As it was I got a card from my DH with DS's footprints on it but I am just immensely grateful that I get to celebrate mother's day at all! I am so happy that I have a gorgeous son. Surely that's what today is really about? I know DH appreciates what I do as a mother, he shows me daily how thankful he is to have us both. I don't need gifts for that.

DS (10) made me a card at school which I really appreciated as he had done it himself, kept it hidden and then proudly gave me. It meant the world to me, even though it was just a piece of A4 paper folded over and written on etc.

DD (10) did precisely nothing and when DS told her she was selfish she accused him of being a goody-goody and stomped off in a huff. She didn't even say Happy Mothers Day but she did scream that she has had a busy week this week. So I was angry with her because, as they say, it is the thought that counts, and she just couldn't be bothered.

Re the DH issue, I was pissed off at him because I actually think he should have reminded her in advance and given her a bollocking for being thoughtless and made her do something. In the end he took her out at lunchtime and they bought me a bunch of flowers from the local petrol station (seriously) and I didn't appreciate the "thought" in the slightest - too little too late.

FWIW neither the kids of DH show me any appreciation the rest of the year and DH knows how hard I am finding being a mum at the moment for lots of reasons, so although it is just one day, and although the kids are old enough to do something, I think he should have taken the trouble to ensure I felt appreciated for one day. It isn't about big presents it is about the sentiment and thought behind it.

magmar are you my not-so DH, the one who tried to persuade me that I am in the wrong for expecting my two children to have a card for
me on M's Day?

I am p*ssed off - it is disrepectful. To wake up one day a year plus my birthday and to think of me first before themselves doesn't feel like much to ask for. I don't get thanked every day nor do I think not-so DH appreciates me daily either. Perhaps let us know how things progress over the years when your DS is a bit older and perhaps DH is past the first blush post-baby?

Because I feel taken for granted all the flipping time. I make an effort to get presents for DH from DD (3.5 years) for birthday, fathers' day, whatever. I've always made the effort, just like I always make the effort for everything, where DH makes no effort for anything. So to not get anything for mothers' day, unless and until I remind him and remind him and remind him (and what the hell is the point of that?), is just symptomatic of the crappy situation I find myself in. It's not the gift or the card per se, it's what it represents in the context of my life. And seeing other people give tokens of appreciation buy into the whole crass comercialisation of it to their mothers or to the mothers of their children makes me feel even more crapped on. And if I do get a card, then DH seems to think that that's it, that's good enough, and that he has a free pass for not bothering with the rest of it (that should extend throughout the year too) - being appreciative, saying thank you, not leaving every single sodding thing that is remotely domestic or child related to me, actually making a fucking effort for once in a while, showing that he actually likes having me around rather than just ignoring me....

And breathe.....

Well, I must say when I was posting on other threads about feckless DH's not getting the Mother of their children anything for Mothers Day I was writing thinking, I was one of the lucky one's.

Not So.

It was awful. I came down stairs, I heard DH prompt DD to say
:" Happy Mothers Day", No breakfast in bed, nothing in fact DH seemed postivily moody and miserable.

Every year he has helped her choose a card, helped her write it and got me a small bunch of flowers.

This year NADA. WE went out to somewhere DD wanted to go ( not me) and there was no lunch, nothing. All day I kept thinking I could hear the rustle of flowers, or whispers as he was going to get her to present me with some. On the radio, to all the mums out there sitting with your feet up surrounded by choclates and flowers, all round us people walking with flowers to give or those who had got, and I got nothing.

Nothing,

I did feel totally dis respected. He was in an awful mood and then I became quite ill, very suddenly like flu, shivering and shaking, and temperature. I could tell I was not right and he was actually disappointed when he took my temp and it was high.

All in all not a pleasant day.

I feel very un happy about it, AND i had been nagging him all WEEK to get a card for MIL whom I cannot stand, and whom he has a tricky relationship with, texts, emails, dont forget dont forget and i get nothing.

What a lot of martyrs. Threads like this make me glad to be a single parent!

My mum was one, we still used to buy her cards/gifts

Mind you that's not what this thread is about
Arf :o

So if, as you say, your husband isn't your mother and so doesn't have to help your child make a card or other token gift to show you they care then surely it also isn't your child's teachers place to help/facilitate your child making you a gift/card?

Congratulations floozy

Erm, a card with footprint in is a gift! I have a baby too and got literally nothing, not even a special hug/acknowledgement/thank you etc