AIBU to think that single people are jealous of other people with partners and children?

[moomin35]

Am I wrong to think that my siblings who are 5 years older than me (in their early 40's) may be jealous of me because I have a long term partner and baby on the way? They've always been really close but have recently been cutting me out of things more and more. Some people have said they may be jealous but i truley don't know whats at the bottom of it.

It depends. That might be the reasoning behind the problems in your family. It might not.

There's no such thing as "single people" or " married people" - everyone is different - some will be jealous, some won't.

Massive over-generalisation

I'm single with a toddler and to be honest I pity a lot people with a partner and a baby because I think most people aren't 100% happy together so I'd rather be alone

Yes they are defiantly jealous of you, it has nothing to do with your self obsessed personality

I am so jealous of my child free kids sometimes I could cry. Their FB photos of nights out and weekends away make me weep.

Yes OP, all single people are jealous of those with partners and babies. I think you should phone your siblings with this realisation, they will no doubt be grateful.

Haha, oops, not sure I got my point across in the right way! I get what you're all saying!

I was single and baby less for years myself and I know 100% in that time that I was never envious of my partnered friends with babies (for various reasons!) and would have been royally annoyed had any of them suggested I was so I see how my post read now! I was just trying to reason why my siblings are being different and off with me since i fell pregnant - maybe it's in my smug head?!!

You might be right. Depends if they aspire to having kids and a partner.

But you are wrong to assume that everybody wants that out of life.

And me, married no kids?
Snort at being jealous of friends with kids, I don't even know where to start with that....

Seeing as they're your brothers and sisters can you not sit down and ask them what the problem is? Siblings have a knack of being honest with one another!

maybe it's in my smug head?!

Bingo.

The presumption of jealousy is absurd!
There could be loads of reasons for the change and I doubt they revolve around you. I suspect that they are just happy getting on with their lives and have less in common with you.

If it's all of them they are more than likely bored of hearing about your plans for the baby. I'm assuming it's the main topic when you see them, even though you don't mean it to be?

It could also be your hormones making you take things said as a dig or insult when that wasn't the case at all or even you saying things in a nasty way that wasn't ment.

Hormones and pregancy in general plays about with your body and brain so much sp, your personality almost changes completely without you realising.

This thread always brings out two types; those who smugly think their friends with no kids are jealous, and those who say that people with kids are smug but can't possibly be happy - 'boring family holidays' springs to mind.

FWIW I love seeing pictures of my friends on nights out and hearing their drunken stories from their Malia/Aiya Napa holidays, but I'm quite happy with Haven holidays

As this thread has proved, you can have kids and be envious, and you can be free childless and irritatingly smug, just as much as the other way round.

Lesson of the day, generalizations are bad.

I'm jealous of my single friends with no kids, loads of money and cracking social lives!

my single friends have no man no kids and have a fantastic life jealous me no never OP you sound like you are going to be a baby bore tbh maybe they just dont know how to be around you

I think a lot of people are being a bit harsh on the OP. I know myself as the oldest child there is often an expectation (sometimes that you just put on yourself) that you will do everything first e.g. graduate university, get married, have a baby. So when younger siblings do those things before you it can upset the "natural order" of things which may be why your siblings are acting differently. Do they have partners? Sometimes someone close to you getting pregnant can really highlight how far are we you are yourself from that point, this may be how your siblings feel?

one of my single friends is just back from a holiday and has nipped for a weekend away before she goes back to work on monday lucky moo-

That said, experience with in laws definitely suggests that you might be right on occasion... OH's older sister has been so so offish with me since I got pregnant. She's the oldest so I think it was very much she's supposed to have first grandchild etc

Sometimes I wluld like to have a partner before I get too set in my ways and get a bit jealous but I am not jealous of anyone for having kids. You can keep em as far as im concerned!

Speaking purely for myself, I have a DH but no kids yet. DH's siblings are married with 5 kids between them, and I would actually use them as a blueprint for the sort of people i wouldn't want to turn into. Isn't it possible that you fall in. That category OP? As you seem to think getting partnered up and having kids is dome kind of astonishing achievment admired by all.

I should point out that I do have friends who are married with kids, who have remained interesting, fun people to be around and don't live through their kids. Thankfully i fo know people like this, because SIL and BIL are not only boring, they have produced one child so rude we actually make excuses not to go to PIL any more. As they are always there. As they have no friends outside of family.

Short of telling anyone I am pregnant I have not mentioned it again unless someone has asked me a direct question about it so I certainly cant be accused of being a baby or pregnancy bore that much I'm sure of!

It's probably your boring, smug personality, driving people away, OP.

Im jealous of your siblings!

I'm jealous of my single friends I love my DC and DH I guess (haha) but I miss the 'freedom'.. mostly when DS is screaming blue murder or DH is being a PITA.