To think that I can't be the only person who lives in a messy/sometimes dirty house and cleans before anyone comes round.

[Bumpandkind]

This morning I wake to... last nights supper on the table, bomb site kitchen, evidence of baby led weaning on the floor, bin juice stains in the porch, last Saturdays paper all over the sofa (family section partially eaten by baby and stuck to floor). I could go on. My brothers family are coming over for lunch so my husband and I will blitz this over the morning and the outside world will never know. I would never be truthful about this in real life so just curious if there are any other closet statterns out there?

I have to tidy up and clear everything before I go to bed. I would hate to come down in the morning and there are dirty dishes and toys and mess everywhere

It makes me feel down when there is a mess everywhere. I do believe you can relax more in a tidy clean home. I can't relax until I have tidied up and cleared the kitchen. Once DC are in bed and house is tidy, only then I can sit down and rest properly and enjoy my evening

Kitchen always sorted before bed, dcs bedrooms too. Everything else can wait.

Kitchen regularly left messy overnight soon = mouse problem in my bitter experience.

I really don't do much cleaning to keep the house looking ok. Maybe 1-2 hours over the weekend. The kitchen is tidied as we go along and the kids' bed rooms tidied when I can no longer see the floor. I don't understand these sayings 'my children will remember what fun we had playing, not that we had a tidy house' as if it's either/or. We rarely do a deep clean. Maybe 1/year. I see that as washing skirting boards/woodwork type stuff. A dishwasher is a godsend. Having space to put stuff away is too.

I can't stand it when the house is untidy or dirty. It irritates me. I don't need it to look like a showhome though and am happy for a few bits and pieces to be lying around. I keep it tidy by being in the fortunate position to be able to afford a cleaner four times a week. It makes me very, very happy and I think the whole household is happier. I never panic if a friend calls around unexpectantly. Mind, I don't waste my time having friends that would care how tidy my house was. I don't care what their houses are like and I am sure they don't care about mine.

not because of some societal "norm" but because I, myself, think it's dirty and messy.

But Bertie you're not thinking and feeling in a vacuum. All your thoughts will have been heavily influenced by society. I'm not sure but it seems it's more women that do this 'it has to be tidy or I can't relax' but then again, things being the way they are, it's the women that shoulder the housework.

Going back to my dad again (who conveniently messes up my hypothesis) I suspect it was more an OCD thing because he never did the relaxing part of the tidy/relax routine.

I used to be very clean & tidy before I met my husband and children, now my house is like the op's!

I don't have time for cleaning and I'd imagine lots of full time workers are the same

I don't want to spend precious weekends cleaning

So we live in a messy house.

My house was frequently like this until DH finally realised that he had a responsibility towards it too.

Now it is fit for good friends nearly all the time, fit for the in-laws with maybe half an hour's tidying and hoovering, and only bad if we are both unusually busy or ill.

It was at its tidiest and cleanest when I worked 80% and had only one child though. Not much opportunity to mess it up, enough opportunity to clear up.

I can't bear to leave laundry though. We have so much washing (3DC, youngest in cloth nappies) that if I don't wash, dry and put away every other day otherwise it becomes insurmountable. I collect ironing for a big session (2h) once a week.

Slattern here. Agree with what Michael said.i could spend my evenings and weekends cleaning, but life is too short.

Mine's got worse since RTW recently. I have no childfree time any more to get an uninterrupted stint at it. I'm shattered from the mental and physical demands of the job. Baby is newly mobile and exploring and catches up on milk when we get home in the evening. I'm trying to get the family involved in clearing the table but it's toddler's favoured time slot for a toilet training emergency as we finish dinner and go to bedtime.

Frequently by the time baby stops feeding and both DCs are asleep, I'm ready to crash out too. Sleeping with an untidy kitchen down stairs really isn't a problem!