To think that I can't be the only person who lives in a messy/sometimes dirty house and cleans before anyone comes round.

[Bumpandkind]

This morning I wake to... last nights supper on the table, bomb site kitchen, evidence of baby led weaning on the floor, bin juice stains in the porch, last Saturdays paper all over the sofa (family section partially eaten by baby and stuck to floor). I could go on. My brothers family are coming over for lunch so my husband and I will blitz this over the morning and the outside world will never know. I would never be truthful about this in real life so just curious if there are any other closet statterns out there?

My main motivation for my house being tidy and clean is that I want my family to enjoy the home. I hate half complete toys, crap all over the coffee table, scavenging around for a clean cereal bowl. It's just n it a nice environment. It's though since getting married and having children, keeping our home really comfortable and clean has become so much more important to me than it was when I was single. I want my children to remember our home being a pleasant place to live, where they would feel happy to bring home frieneds unannounced.

Not the kind of squalor that some describe. Honestly, how can you live like that when you have children?

Untidy is different to squalor. Nothing that a quick run around couldn't fix. Bit of mess is understandable with children and we generally have most of the neighbourhood here at weekends. Welcoming not sterile. I never was allowed friends over either as a child.

I am between messy and tidy.

In this house, people often call by and children are in and out of each other's houses, so I keep a higher standard than when this wasn't the case.

If you used the loo, sat in the lounge, all tidy and clean.

Kitchen- depends on time of day and week, so Friday/Sat night more likely to leave plates on table if very tired/want to watch a movie. Cleared quickly other nights.

Don't any of you tidy-uppers before bed ever get, you know, carried away after a few bottles of wine and a nice romantic Sat night dinner and go up to bed leaving the dishes? Do you always tidy and doesn't this spoil the moment?

sometimes I think I would turn into some sort of Mr. Trebus figure were it not for regular visitors

I try and make sure I have someone visit each week so that I keep a lid on the potential squalor

I loved Mr Trebus - what an interesting if not stubborn character he was.

Tallesttower - following on from the Saturday night bottle of wine - what about getting carried,away having a bit on the sofa, leaving you clothes strewn around the room overnight and finding your nicks 3 days later down the sofa. Know what I'd prefer.

Hello spiritual home!

DM is coming for lunch tomorrow. I have 3 floors of house to tidy. I go with the bag and box approach. One bag for crap and box of stuff that's in the wrong room.

It then looks lovely for about 30 fucking minutes

I agree with Enjoying. With all the devices we have (dishwasher etc) I really don't think we have an excuse to live in a tip.

I speak as well as full time working mother. If I can find time.....

I keep coming back to this thread - I was talking to my mam about it earlier.

She's a neat freak and used to make comments if she came round and I had dishes / washing etc kicking around or if the floor wasn't freahly mopped.

She was always cleaning when we were kids - soften we'd ask her to play and she'd be too busy.

She said today that she wishes she'd ignored mess andplayed more. She says its one of her only regrets and that she loves that dp and I would rather sit on a crumby floor to play with ds than turn him down.

There's always tomorrow for scrubbing!

I think there's a massive middle ground between squalor and sterility.

But one persons sterility is another's squalor!

I lived like a slob for years and years. It was only when we bought our house that I became semi house proud and even now I'm prone to kicking things into spaces no-one sees. My DH is a bit OCD with cleaning and can't understand how I could live like a slob it but it's just me!

Me too! Unless someone's visiting (and, if they're really good friends, even when they're visiting) I just don't see the point of stressing about it. We've got a cleaner that comes twice a week now so that we're reasonably socially acceptable, but dishes regularly get left overnight and the piles of stuff that collect on each available surface only get sorted if they fall over

I've pretty much given up any hope of our house ever being a show home but good friends don't seem to mind and if anyone else comes round everything gets shoved away in cupboards and we make sure the dishes etc are done so hopefully we get away with it! :)

I've begun to dread when my mother is babysitting my dds for me. As I have to blitz clean the house before she comes

It nearly ruins my night out. I'm cranky and wrecked from the effort of it all. Wish I could be tidier.

Love this thread! Was just moaning with DP that our house is a tip and he said he decided not to bother cleaning the kitchen floor this morning because it would just be covered in crap again in 30 mins. Just about the only thing I am fussy about are cleaning up the dishes, and I think that is from living abroad for years when food that got left out would be a bug magnet. And cleaning the loo.

Truth is DD2 is simply too destructive creative for us to keep up with her, even if I had the time/energy/inclination - which I don't.

The only times the house is properly tidy is if we have people round or I have just been round to my SIL - whose house is always, always astonishingly immaculate. Like a show home. Really. The only time it is messy is if my DDs are there . And when I get back to our own fleapit I feel so guilty I have to blitz it.

I watch an episode hoarders next door and feel so much better about my messy semi-clean abode.

Isn't there some sort of saying - that children don't remember how clean the house was but how much time you spent with them.

Yes, us too, I keep the house 6/10 tidy all the time and hover our living room carpet at least once a day, I have too. However when we have guests over, the kitchen, bathroom and hall ways and main room will all get a much higher standard of tidy and clean .

Little things that build that I can't be bothered to move in every day living...papers on a table, toys here and there...

Isn't there some sort of saying - that children don't remember how clean the house was but how much time you spent with them

there are lots of sayings on this theme yes.

No, I could never wake up to a messy home. At most I could leave a cup or two in the sink.

Kitchen is spotless every night. I mop daily as I cannot stand to see any marks on the floor.
Living room is spotless- all toys packed away. Cushions neatened.
Same thing with bathroom and bedrooms.

I cannot cope with mess at all. I will only tolerate dcs toys on the floors. Everything in our home has a place and is put away after use.

Thank god I've seen this thread!!

I had two 'support workers' from the children's centre tell me how dirty my house was the other day because there were some crumbs on the flour and table. Apparently this is a regular thing and my dishes aren't done... Yes at 11am with a 2 year old there are crumbs and breakfast dishes. I cried for an hour thinking how horrible a mother I must be if my house is that dirty.

My kid won't remember that I leave the breakfast dishes till I'm cooking next, he'll remember that we spend mornings eating biscuits & tea and playing trains and our afternoons out doing something fun... And that it's miraculously clean and semi-tidy in the morning!

I tend to be like this and I think it's because I think I don't mind the mess and only other people do, except that's not really true :( and was a hard conversation to have with DH when I said I clean for the sake of other people coming round but I tend to assume that me, DS and him don't really mind (or don't matter??), he was hurt by that because he does mind and he does try hard to keep the house clean.

I kind of came to the conclusion that I'm embarrassed about the house not because of some societal "norm" but because I, myself, think it's dirty and messy. And I should keep it how I am comfortable with myself and not just because people are coming round. And then, vice versa, not be ashamed of how it is if I do have visitors, if it's good enough for me it's good enough for my friends. It's not good to be in the current situation of being embarrassed to have people over to the extent that the thought of it makes me feel anxious.

Some of the post on this thread have really made me chuckle.

I have a big 4 bed house.. I spend 1 1/2 hours on a morning clearing up/doing laundry/sorting out the evening meal etc after dropping the sprog off at school. I then spend 3 - 4 hours on the xbox if I do desire.. pick the kid up.. do the evening thing.. clear up.. play with kid and bedtime where I get yet more time to myself. Weekends I work flat out and the husband takes over the house. Of course i'm looking at those parents with older kids rather than toddlers. But even then, it's not impossible to get into a routine.

Once a month I will spend all day deep cleaning... one day ffs.

Do it as you go along.. don't go to bed on a messy kitchen and living room and the rest just follows.

I had a pal who would refused to clean the toilet because 'somebody will just be sick in it so whats the point'.. have that attitude then you fast forward to living in a shithole.

messy is fuck all... dirty is a different ball game and no excuse.

I totally relate to the poster who said in their house there are two types of clean, normal clean and visitors clean.
Mine is just like that although visitor clean is only for people I don't know very well.
I am very much a clean / clear up as I go along, do a couple of hours housework a day and always wash up straight away. My house is not immaculate, I rarely dust or wash floors or wash skirting boards down but it's acceptable all the time.

What's deep cleaning?