to think dummies don't automatically mean babies sleep better?

[PuffyPigeon]

I'm expecting dc3. My first two breastfed and co-slept which has resulted in very few sleepless nights. Dhs two dc from previous marriage were in cots in their own rooms from birth with dummies. He doesn't want me to co-sleep with this one and says giving them a dummy is the key to having them sleep well, and in a cot. I have no objection to sleeping separately but think he's naive to say dummies automatically get everyone better sleep. Surely every parent would use them if so? What about them falling out and having to replaced? He says I haven't tried so cant really comment. Aibu to think dummies aren't necessarily the magic key to sleep?

They were for ds2.

Some babies sleep much more deeply and for longer with one.

Never used them with either of mine, one a great sleeper from the off, the other not (still after four years). But I have a vivid memory of looking after my nephew at nights and constantly having to go in and put the plug back in as it fell out when he fell asleep and he would wake up grizzling for it. Drove me round the bend.

Neither of my DC had dummies.

Both started off sleeping in a crib in our bedroom.

DS1 was bottlefed as we couldn't get bf establised with him. Moved into his own room around 7 - 8 months when he outgrew the crib. Sleeping patterns were all back to front until ~ 4 months old, then he started sleeping well most nights.

DS2 is breastfed. Still in crib. Has slept well most nights since ~ 3 months.

But both did start sucking fingers so I guess they use their fingers as a dummy substitute!

DD2 had a dummy for about 5mths, she loved it, fell asleep with it every night.......and woke up at least 10 times a night screaming for it when it fell out :( Which meant neither me nor DH got a full nights sleep.
After 5 mths I suffered the 3 nights of no sleep while she cried for it but she was so wrecked the 4th night she slept and bar the odd moan, mainly when she sees another baby with on(friends baby) she's grand.
HTH

Well, firstly the guidlines are that babies should not be in a separate room at night till at least 6 months.

Secondly i'd say there is no magic key that suits all babies. Perhaps it was the dummy that made his DCs sleep through? Who can say? it's always worth a go IMO. Nothing to say it'll work with this baby ....

FWIW i have 4 DCs and have used dummies with all of them in the first weeks. They all sleep/slept well. Mostly the dummy falls out when they go off to sleep, and don't notice its gone.

Dummies for me meant more sleep as they weren't comfort feeding through the night, even with occasional dummy losing when they are next to your bed it's just a case of reaching over and replacing it.
Co-sleeping doesn't really work for us at all, it worked better with DC1 as DH could go in the spare bed but with DC2&3 it led to far less sleep for me but more for the babies.
DC4 liked to grumble himself to sleep on his own from a few weeks old, it sounds mean but anywhere other than his own cot with his muslin led to screaming with rage.

Posted that too soon, I think you need to come to a reasonable agreement before the baby comes, and you are both tired and possibly a bit ratty.

dd didnt really take a dummy and ds had his until about 6 months when he started waking multiple times for it so we took it off him.

depends on the baby one of mine had a dummy helped her settle one didnt she settled fine are you just miffed your babys dad doesnt want you to co sleep and are trying to find reasons to tell him dummys are not the only answer

Maybe not all babies but it was certainly a god send for my DS, or rather me! However, if he hadn't shown signs of needing one then I wouldn't have forced it on him but yeah, it certainly helped him settle and gave my poor nipples a reprieve too :)

Mine didn't have dummies. Not that they didn't need them. I just don't like the idea of using them. They found their thumbs for themselves.

Perhaps your dh has a selective memory/ hearing.

My DS would never take a dummy. It just used to make him angry, I think because no milk was coming out! They are all different.

My first 2 had dummies and half the night seemed to be taken up with finding the bloody things BUT they did settle quicker with them. DD2 has a comforter but no dummy and she does settle OK and sleep longer in general so YANBU, but it depends on the child.

I think it depends on the baby, doesn't it? What an odd thing for your DH to think. My two were bf but we didn't co-sleep - DD1 was a brilliant sleeper (slept 8 - 8 with a dream feed at 10pm from 10 weeks) and DD2 needed night feeds at 11.30 and 2.30 until almost a year but always settled immediately so still a brilliant sleeper.

If they hadn't been I'd have tried dummies, but surely you see what kind of baby you have first? Either way they are not going to sleep a solid 5 hours from birth. Your DH needs to realise that.

Oh, I forgot. Mine also had 'blankets'. DD had a winceyette sheet from her pram and DS had a mitten.

As the parent of 2 DCs age 4 and nearly 6 who both still suck their thumbs I think if you can get them to take an orthodontic dummy then do. Not sure they're the panacea your DH claims but much better for their teeth than thumb sucking and much easier to get rid of :(

Whatson I've actually wondered if that's the case as he sleeps really heavily, even through the fire alarm Plus his children had a bottle of milkshake or juice left in their cot and tv on from a few months and he and his exW weren't averse to cry it out. I'm not deadset on cco-sleeping but seeing as I'll be the one dealing with night wakings, I think the use of dummy should mainly be up to me. I don't mind them for bedtime but think dh would end up using it in the day as an easier way to settle baby and I'd rather that not be the case. His dd has one until she was 6 and instantly became hysterical if one couldn't be found.

Well, I think she who does the night wakings shall decide the sleeping strategy, including the use of dummies. Should be straightforward enough, really.

My Hv suggested a dummy as my ds constantly rooted and we thought he was hungry but was just a sucky baby, it made no difference to him sleeping longer but does make it easier for him to sleep but doesn't need it putting back in once asleep. Also it is now suggested that the use of a dummy can reduce the risk of SIDS.

There is NOTHING that can guarantee you a good night's sleep, and if your husband really thinks that using a dummy or any other technique is a way to ensure that your baby will do a 12 hour stretch from birth then he is going to have a bit of a shock!

Dd1 slept through the night from 8 weeks old.
Dd2 slept through the night from 9/10 weeks old.
They both slept in a Moses basket.
They both had dummies.

It may not have been because of the dummies, but if I had another baby no way , I'd definitely give a dummy!

With DS1 I didn't use a dummy as I thought it was frowned upon, unnatural etc resulting in a very unsettled baby. With ds2 and DS3 I gave them a dummy from quite early days. I didn't experience any problems with feeding, nipple confusion, dummy falling etc and they were very contented and slept well. Only wish I had popped one in DS1 during the early days, by the time I tried out of desperation he was set in his ways! A magic key for me for sure and it meant I really enjoyed the new born stage - without one I seriously doubt there would have been a Ds3!

It depends on the baby. My youngest used to wake every hour and it wasn't until we gave him a dummy that he slept longer. I used to try and feed him thinking he was hungry as he tried to suck but he didn't want food just wanted something to suck on. The dummy was a god's send for us.

Dummies are for chav babies!
Don't do it!