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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think some parents serious hypochondriacs?

87 replies

dolphinsandwhales · 27/03/2014 08:20

I am keep in loose contact with a birth group online and have a few mum friends in rl. It seems to me that a proportion of them are terrible hypochondriacs and spend a lot of time dosing up their children with calpol, nurofen and hounding doctors for antibiotics.

Comments I've heard/read in the past few days include 'calpol is a godsend, I have given it to ds at least every other week since birth, he can't do without it for his coughs/colds/headaches'(he's two). 'i've just got dd her second round of antibiotics from the doctor, she's got a virus and I've had to get the out of hours doctor out twice' and finally, 'I phoned am ambulance last night as ds had a temperature and was coughing in his sleep, the paramedics looked at him and we're sympathetic but said he would be ok'.

Of course if someone has serious illness or suspects it then doctors, ambulances etc should be called, but all the ridiculous hypochondria over common coughs and colds from the same parents all the time means the NHS has even more pressure on resources. Someone having a heart attack could lack an ambulance if it's dealing with Billy's cough and antibiotics for viruses are not effective and overuse is contributing to superbugs (I understand from what I read).

Am I just a mean parent and grumpy probably

OP posts:
DeWe · 27/03/2014 12:48

Some parents do over panic on their dc. Some children get everything and need more.

I think dd1 had antibiotics three times before school age, and had calpol probably not much more.
Dd2 was similar, perhaps slightly more antibiotics, and calpol and ibroprofin more because she used to run very high (think 40+) temperatures which would only come down with 3 days of full dose of them.

Ds had constant ear infections which required antibiotics and had over 20 lots in his first year alone. While he had the ear infections he would also be on calpol and ibroprofin just to manage the pain.

Ditto A&E visits: Dd1 has never been. Dd2 has been 3 times-1x urine infection, 1x bumped head that needed glueing, 1x stuff in eyes.
Ds: Well he used to get a viral rash. FDor him that is a rash that appears when unwell and is non fading under pressure, sometimes rapidly spreading. I've been at A&E 6+ times with that, plus we had 3x over a non-weight baring leg (2x sent by GP) and 1x over D&V (also sent by GP).

So if you were looking at ds, you could be thinking I'd been an over protective parent. But if you'd been looking at dd1 you might think I ignored illness.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/03/2014 12:57

I genuinely think some parents don't realise what calpol is, that it's just paracetamol.

The GP once asked me if I'd given DS calpol when he has diarrhoea and vomiting (been going on a week). I said no. Why would I? I wouldn't take paracetamol if I had it (He didn't have a temperature or tummy pain). I had no reason to give him calpol.

Sillylass79 · 27/03/2014 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ubik1 · 27/03/2014 13:03

I love the mothers who phone up for their sons...you look at D.O.B you're like Confused and the you ask...how old he is..."Oh he's 29, just back from Ibiza, I've put him in the spare bed, I've given him some cough medicine, but he can't even lift his head from the pillow..." Grin

Mothers and sons...

ouryve · 27/03/2014 13:03

Taking a small child to the doctor's is the most surefire way of them actually catching something. Next to starting nursery or school, or course.

CommanderShepard · 27/03/2014 13:31

Like another PP, I was a bit laissez-faire until DD had two extended febrile convulsions in the space of 2 hours. It's burnt into my brain - it's not just the fitting, it's the glassy eyes and stiff limbs afterwards. Tearing up just thinking about it.

Yonineedaminute · 27/03/2014 14:12

The other thing I don't really get is how parents know exactly what is wrong with their very young babies. I remember one woman in my NCT group saying how she had been dosing up her 2 month old with Nurofen because he was apparently teething and I though 'how the fuck do you know that, did he tell you?' He didn't even cut his first tooth until about 10 months old!

londonchick · 27/03/2014 14:13

I think if a parent is anxious about their child being unwell then that is always to be taken seriously, however trivial the problem might actually be. The issue is that some people have absolutely no idea about basic care for an illness and what to do and so they end up at the doctors/A&E more. Education is so important in these cases.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/03/2014 14:17

Yanbu I know a parent who a lasts at the Doctors for minor illness such as cold and flu

Yonineedaminute · 27/03/2014 14:29

The other thing I don't really get is how parents know exactly what is wrong with their very young babies. I remember one woman in my NCT group saying how she had been dosing up her 2 month old with Nurofen because he was apparently teething and I though 'how the fuck do you know that, did he tell you?' He didn't even cut his first tooth until about 10 months old!

Ubik1 · 27/03/2014 14:29

I have also spoken to people who have put a feverish child in a cold bath Angry

I'd like to put them in a bloody cold bath next time they have a fever.

londonchick · 27/03/2014 14:33

Goodness me! That is worrying! Any baby under 3 months with a fever must be checked out medically regardless of what the parents think might be wrong!!

Kittymautz · 27/03/2014 14:37

I think it's very difficult to get the balance right, especially with very young children who cannot communicate how they are feeling, where it hurts etc.

I'm against the over-prescription of antibiotics, and think that trips to the doctor when a child has a cold waste NHS time and money, and only serve to spread germs around more. However, I also think that it's better to be safe than sorry - a five year old family member was taken to the doctor with general 'floppiness' and not seeming himself, thinking it was probably a virus, and it turned out he had leukaemia.

shallweshop · 27/03/2014 14:45

Each to their own I say. Every parent does what they think is best for their child and it is no one else's business.

londonchick · 27/03/2014 15:25

Yes but some better education is definitely required as not everything requires a doctor's appointment or trip to A&E and that is why these services are buckling under the pressure. Everyone wants swift and correct treatment for their child but the NHS currently just can't provide that. If people were more aware about how to treat thingsat home we wouldn't have the system clogged up with parents worried because their child has vomited twice or has had a raised temperature all afternoon.

User989546711 · 27/03/2014 15:39

Yoni - yes to the teething thing. There were two mums I know obsessed with teething from about eight weeks old and dosing up the babies regularly for pain. Neither got a tooth until after ten months, so I had to wonder whether all those painkillers were for nothing. I sometimes think it's to 'do something' to make YOU feel better when your baby cries and you don't know why.

AngelaDaviesHair · 27/03/2014 15:40

To a degree though, you just have to educate yourself.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/03/2014 15:44

Nurofen isn't suitable for babies under 3 months so I find it a bit worrying that someone would just keep giving it to their baby for apparent teething.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 27/03/2014 16:05

Paracetamol is the same, allthough you can give 2 doses post vaccination

MoominsYonisAreScary · 27/03/2014 16:08

My friends like this with the teeth thing, 9 months on and still no teeth. Sometimes babies are just grumpy

ICanSeeTheSun · 27/03/2014 16:09

I do often wonder if the parents do a good house clean after the bugs have gone.

It may be because I work in a hospital so when someone has had D&V the whole room is 100% cleaned.

After DC have been ill I take the same approach.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/03/2014 16:16

Yeah I tend to get the anti-bac wipes out, wash towels etc and am very careful about hand washing when DS has D&V. As usually he passes everything on to me! He likes to share.

I don't think parents know what they're giving. I've had parents ask if they can give paracetamol in between calpol doses, ask where they can buy calpol from and worryingly I've had several parents ring the ward I work on asking about pain relief as they think Calprofen contains both paracetamol and ibuprofen. It doesn't, it's just brufen. Terrible idea for a name Calpol company.

Goldenhandshake · 27/03/2014 16:16

YANBU I know someone whose two children seem to be constantly ill, every week one or both has a cold, cough, rash, vomiting or diarrhoea, she diagnoses 'gastro' at least once every couple of months. I can't tell if she is playing up on it and making it sound worse than it is, but if she is telling the whole truth I'd be very concerned about my children's health, they seem unnaturally sickly!

pixiepotter · 27/03/2014 16:42

I agree there's a need for calpol for fevers etc and have used it, just not every other week in and bragged about in rl, Facebook etc

they are not bragging just saying.You sound a bit of an idiot Op .If a child is uncomfortable with a complaint then it is right and proper to give them calpol.
Also a GP wouldn't prescribe AB for a viral infection

wonderingsoul · 27/03/2014 16:59

my two are rarely ill, and when they are there not bad with it.. unless its tonsilaties!
rarely go to the gp, as i know how to loook after a temp. virus etc.

that said i toattly over paniced yesterday when a guy speeding on his bike went to the back of 5ds snd the bike and him landed on him , split lip, bruised eye , n a couple of bumps on the head.. i rushed him down there.. through the shock of such a bad accideant rarther than just looking at him ifygwim? doc saw him did a once over and said he was right as rain but to keep an eye out for signs etc.. which i knew all ready and had i clamed down enough and thought about it i prob wouldnt have taken him.

i can see why some parents lose their common sence at times, and i guess it is better to be over protetive in that sence than going the other end.

i like to think im in the middle, most of the time.