Aibu to think some parents serious hypochondriacs?

[dolphinsandwhales]

I am keep in loose contact with a birth group online and have a few mum friends in rl. It seems to me that a proportion of them are terrible hypochondriacs and spend a lot of time dosing up their children with calpol, nurofen and hounding doctors for antibiotics.

Comments I've heard/read in the past few days include 'calpol is a godsend, I have given it to ds at least every other week since birth, he can't do without it for his coughs/colds/headaches'(he's two). 'i've just got dd her second round of antibiotics from the doctor, she's got a virus and I've had to get the out of hours doctor out twice' and finally, 'I phoned am ambulance last night as ds had a temperature and was coughing in his sleep, the paramedics looked at him and we're sympathetic but said he would be ok'.

Of course if someone has serious illness or suspects it then doctors, ambulances etc should be called, but all the ridiculous hypochondria over common coughs and colds from the same parents all the time means the NHS has even more pressure on resources. Someone having a heart attack could lack an ambulance if it's dealing with Billy's cough and antibiotics for viruses are not effective and overuse is contributing to superbugs (I understand from what I read).

Am I just a mean parent and grumpy probably

YANBU, although I am lucky as my mum is a practice nurse so she is always my first port of call if ds does seem a bit off colour. However if I didn't have her to ask, I still don't think I would be dosing him up with calpol/neurofen and taking him to the doctor at every opportunity the way that some of my friends do.

My mum says she constantly sees people who bring in their children because they have 'a temperature'. Apparently these kids are running around the surgery, perfectly fine, but yes their temperature is slightly high when taken. Going to the doctors is a massive pain in the arse, who can be bothered to do it unless its really necessary?

I don't know, I thin you might be being a bit unreasonable.

I don't have any children but if I did I suspect I might behave as you say. It's that awful 'what if' 'just in case' kind of feeling. It must be a crushing weight of responsibility trying to work out how ill something non verbal is with no medical training at all. I can imagine panicking.

Yes but bemused I assume people knew he had kidney problems and Therefore probably weren't judging you?

It's the 'the doctor said dd has a virus but I am going to go back and insist on a course of antibiotics as its 2 days later now and she still has a slight temperature' brigade that piss me off!

I remember at work ages ago, some parents asking me for calpol for their toddler because she was being 'noisy'.

dolphin that's so sweet and magnanimous of you to personally worry about ambulance use and so on.

However no matter how OTT your friends are, I would much rather them be over anxious than not give a damn which sadly many many parents do.

Most professional health care professionals also prefer you to be over cautious than not seek help where necessary.

YABU.

Some children are ill all the time. Lucky you if your children have never needed antibiotics.

Are you saying GP's are giving out AB for a virus?? If so that is their fault, not the parents. Is it possible the GP is giving the AB for an infection which is secondary to a virus? (and that you only know half the story)

I am going to go back and insist on a course of antibiotics as its 2 days later now

But any good doc wouldn't give them out where they don't feel necessary.

I was never much of a calpol user and was shocked when a friend told me that she would give that out as a matter of course if her ds woke crying in the night.

Ironically, my child is the one who has ended up on permanent dosage of tramadol.

X post IAM

I hate threads like these then someone comes on with v sick sounding child all worried about calling docs because they don't want to seem like a nuisance.

It baffles me. I know people who are at the doctors, either for themselves or their children, every few weeks on average. They and their children's' illnesses are a major topic of conversation. Medication is frequent and given automatically if there is any sign of a problem.

We're the opposite and it sometimes makes me wonder. I honestly don't know whether my two are ultra healthy or we have a different view on what illness is. DC1 has had calpol a couple of times -hates it. Once was in A&E -the only time we've been - as she was sick and had a temp, and not even they could syringe it into her. She was two. Was fine. She's never had it in the two years since, but she's never really had a temperature. Has been sick about three times in her life.

DC2 has never had any medication, has never seemed to be ill and has been to the docs once - that was for a cough that had hung around for over a week so I wanted chest checked. Fine.

We're never ill. We never have bugs that go round the family. Never has D&V or norovirus or any of that exciting stuff you hear about.

I'm very grateful for good health but am intrigued by some of the differences between families in this - not individual children, but families. Some of it must be attitude. Maybe??
Just to say, I am not anti-meds in any way.

I give Calpol for a high temperature and for pain also. If I had a pain I'd want paracetamol and would probably not be able to sleep without it so I do the same for my DCs. Some people to give their children too much Calpol etc but I do think it's easy to go too far the other way also. No point in a child with tooth pain (say) suffering unnecessarily.

thebody - no not a nurse but spent quite a bit of time with HCPs so have had a chance to talk about evidence, risk etc. in relation to medication for children.

I do take the DCs to the doctor when I'm really concerned (DS had bronchiolitis at eight weeks and we went to paediatrics on 111's advice) and wouldn't risk it if I thought they seemed really poorly. We all make a judgement based on our own thresholds for worry.

Definitely not about wanting a prize for not giving medication! But I think there is a happy medium. I have one friend who in the winter gave her DS calpol every morning before nursery 'just in case' he felt poorly when he got there and his key worker didn't notice quickly enough. No underlying health issues either. It just made her feel better! I do sometimes wonder because it's pink and sweet people forget it's a painkiller.

X-posts with lots of people struggling with children with poor health. Apologies if my post is annoying. My point was more me thinking about various people I know who are 'always at the docs' but who seem no less well than me and have NO chronic health conditions. Now they have children- the children are always 'just getting over x' 'off to the docs, been sniffly for days' 'still got a slight temp this morning, calpol's done nothing so I'm taking her to the doc tomorrow'.

I do think that in the absence of definite chronic illness, it's something that some people seem to see as the norm.

Bruno There are definite differences in attitudes to health/disease between different families and cultures.

However, people are vastly different. That's why we see such extremes like the 100 year old lady who has had 8 children and smoked 20 a day since she was 18 but then also see the young, fit, healthy living man with leukaemia...

Some people are plain lucky or have good genes. Enjoy it!

Bruno-is not attitude that you and your family don't get sick, it's sheer luck. It could be the complete opposite. People can't avoid d and v with a good attitude.

I am a complete hypochondriac (health anxiety) over my own health, really bad and it can take over my life. However, with my children I am not anxious at all and very rarely take them to the GP.

I had a very sick child for the first five years of his life, I think that helped me put every little cough and cold into perspective. I know what I can treat at home and what needs a GP appointment, of course if I am ever unsure I will call 111 or see my GP though.

I know, I know. Probably expressed the whole thing badly. Yes, lucky to have good health.

My oldest hasn't been to the dr that many times but my daughter has. My 5 year old has seen our dr maybe 4 times and out of hours twice. My daughter who is 3 has seen the doctor probably about 8 times and out of hours once. However, out of those 9 times, 5 she has been admitted into hospital and two been referred to consultants.

When my oldest was younger he suffered from febrile convulsions so whenever he had a temperature he had calpol. I didn't risk him having them after his first lasted 7 minutes at 10 months old. That was the only time either of mine have been in an ambulance and was called by NHS direct.

I don't like my children having anti-bs either. My 5 year old has had them 3/4 times and my daughter 2/3. She was prescribed her first anti-bs at about 5 days old :( She had an infection in all of her fingers and some of her toes and they had swollen up to be twice the size they should have been. They were bright red and she couldn't move them. Hated giving a baby so young anti-bs!

I see both sides of this.
People do overreact, and antibiotics are overused.

At the same time, the anxiety is real. My mother always reacts to news that the kids are ill (in minnor ways-coughs, colds, slight stomach bug) by saying I should take them to the GP. It isn't what she did when we were young, but as she gets older she worries even more and seems to want me to reassure her by getting them seen.

At least my mother taught me the basics of nursing a patient though. DH never learned that kind of (self) care from his parents, he's clueless, and so many people are. I mean basic, ordinary stuff about what your temp should be, what to do if the temperature is low or high, food to give when they've got stomach upsets, steam for croupy coughs, vapour rub for blocked noses. You'd think people having a child would buy a book on this stuff and read it, but they don't. So they ring 999 or go to the GP instead.

I feel that many parents mollycoddle their DCs too much, but that's preferable to ignoring what could turn out to be something serious to the point where something bad happens. If a parent is genuinely worried about their child, it's always better to err on the side of caution.

That said, I think there is a case for TV marketing of public health messages that repeat the viruses can't be cured by antibiotics, that repeatedly using medication like calpol can have long-term consequences, etc.

The trouble is that once your immune system has taken a battering from a cold, for example, you are more at risk of picking up further infections if you come into contact with them before you are fully recovered. That's why so many toddlers seem to spend a year almost constantly ill. It's not that their parents are hypochondriacs at all. However, IME most toddlers, unless seriously ill, will just get on with it and don't require calpol unless they're in pain or feeling wretched.

It's a funny old thing though isn't it Bruno? I do agree. Some people genuinely seem to never be ill and others seem to always be ill. I had embarrassingly fantastic health for years and years, literally couldn't remember the last time I was ill. Then I had a truly awful virus that knocked me out for months and still gives me problems 2.5 years later. My wider family were also ridiculously well and then 2 years ago at New year my dad, brother and myself were all in the same hospital with DIFFERENT illnesses! Hoping for a good run of health in the years ahead.

I get really cross when I see kids all wrapped up and I'm told they need calpol for their temperature. I think it's because my Mum was always so strict on torturing us cooling us down before trying Calpol

YANBU.

I have a facebook friend (wouldn't consider her a RL friend as not seen her in years and we only ever really talk about the DC) who has actually been banned from calling her GP surgery to make appointments for her son she was going that regularly over stupid things. They now have a policy that her mother (a retired nurse from the surgery) must be the one to ring and make his appointments as they know she will only do so if it serious.

At least twice a week she is writing statuses about how poorly he always is and how he has had medicine and needs to see the DR. and getting people to feel sorry for her because nobody in the medical profession is taking her seriously.

O.o ... astounds me!

I think people are being a little bit harsh. No-one likes to see their child uncomfortable or in pain, it's infinitely preferable to give them some medicine, surely? (Although I've never heard of a pre-emptive dose, the mind does boggle).

I think when a child has been unwell it is very easy for them to get into a downward spiral of then picking up every single thing that is going around. It can also take a long time for them to 'properly' recover - and of course often they can't tell us what's wrong. It's hard for a LO to say 'actually, I don't feel ill, just a bit tired, probably because I was ill last week, so while I don't actually want to go to bed, I'd rather do my normal stuff but for half the normal time, then I'll come home and watch TV'.

So you get a child flinging themselves back into normal life, then being overtired, then seeming 'ill' or run down, so people give them some calpol and think they've caught something else. It's easily done.