Wedding anniversary party and present

[HarlotOTara]

Dh and I have been invited to a 10th wedding anniversary party. I was thinking of giving a card and a tin of beans - as a joke as 10th is tin I think. Dh brought home the invite which has a poem asking for money instead of presents so they can go away for the weekend.

Aibu to think this is a cheek and rather crass?

[Sicaq]

I'm going to have to find me a partner. Seems pretty lucrative, with all these couple-y occasions that require cash!

[UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea]

My vote is for BalloonSlayer - brilliant.

OP please now do the obligatory ring round the other guests to find out that they think and then report back.

[5Foot5]

Unbelievable!! If they want a weekend away why didn't they spend the money they are forking out for the party on the weekend instead of trying to do both?

10 years is not such a big deal anyway.

[OldBeanbagz]

DH and i celebrated 20 years of marriage last year. No party here and even if there had been, i wouldn't have dreamt of asking for money off my friends.

[FryOneFatManic]

I can understand people giving gifts for 25th/50th anniversaries, but for others? I'd send a card perhaps but nothing more.

As far as I'm concerned, anniversaries are between the couple, surely.

My parents had a 25th party - a surprise one, organised/paid for by me/DBro as at that point we were just grateful they'd made 25 years as the year before Dad had been very ill needing a quadruple heart bypass.

And in a couple of years will celebrate their 50th. I doubt whether they'll have more than a bit of a meal in a restaurant, but again, as they've both been ill, they won't be paying for that one.

Asking other people for money seems grabby to me at the best of times, and certainly for what is not really that special an anniversary.

[helenthemadex]

when you married we thought you were crazed
that its lasted this long has left us amazed

we're pleased that you are both still very happy
but feel the poem requesting cash is really crappy

if its a weekend away that you both want
pay yourself you tighfisted c*

[HuevosRancheros]

To the people asking "why would you have a 10th wedding anniversary party?"....
Well, we are this year, our wedding was really small, we always planned on having a big party later for all our friends and distant family that we didn't invite to the wedding. But we were poor, and couldn't afford it!
Now we can, so we're having a party to make up for not having one before.
But no way would we ask for presents; in fact, we're the same as Laurie, not quite sure how to ask for "no presents" without making it look like we were expecting them in the first place!!

OP, it does sound like the best thing is not to go....

[Caterina99]

Huevos and laurie, just put on your invitation at the bottom something like "no gifts please" or "in lieu of gifts, there will be a donation box to x charity"

I've seen that a lot, and if people take offense to that, then you really can't win!

[CerealMom]

Ahh, it is their 10 year anniversary. Splash the cash OP and buy them a multipack of baked beans. Every time they open one they'll think of you...

[CountessOfRule]

They can get to fuck.

We are having a tenth wedding anniversary party this year. We don't want gifts and will say so although we may be tapping up local friends to lend serving dishes and fridge space.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

I would either go and post the poems on here anonymously in the box, or not go and post them in cards to them, or just not go and ignore the invite.

[SelectAUserName]

An anniversary should be a private affair
Not sure why you think all and sundry should care
And just to compound your terrible cheek
You ask for donations to round off your week
Weddings, birthdays, Christmases...fine
But the only dirty weekend I will pay for is MINE.

(Last line doesn't quite scan but I don't care )

[SueDoeNympho]

Cheeky beggars! Unbelievably rude. I would definitely be busy that weekend and make an excuse not to go.

[HarlotOTara]

Love the poems - I like the bloke and am surprised he thinks this is ok. I haven't met his wife, my dh has and said she is very ambitious and driven so may be her idea who knows. Not sure I have the courage to put one of the poems in a card although anonymously might be fun. I am certainly not giving cash. My dh doesn't want to go as he thinks their attitude is very rude. He is going to put feelers out to see what other guests think. I shall keep an eye on the money box. I like the idea of multibuy beans - possibly very nicely wrapped up

[LemonBreeland]

Who even has a 10th anniversary party? Greedy feckers! I'm with your DH. I just wouldn't go.

[Charlie97]

They have asked for money...... 'Twas our 25th a couple of years ago, we did have a party to celebrate with strict instructions that presence and not presents were wanted.

I find it really shallow asking for money at 10th wedding anniversary, ok at a wedding to ask for presents to start your home.

[elmerelephant]

We had a party for our 10th,
one I didnt think we would make it,
two we only had 6 guests at our wedding so it was nice to invite loads of people,
three, we were able to have a cheesy eighties fancy dress party, but no presents were even expected we just wanted to have a piss up with our mates.
I think its extremely grabby to suggest anyone brings anything other than a bottle of booze

[Bunbaker]

I dare you to ask the hosts how many people have said yes.

[BuggarMeGently]

Only read the OP, so sorry if this has been said already...but I am grinding my teeth because that poem DOESN'T BLOODY SCAN! Now if I was sending an invite like this, it would read...

A decade together, we've let ourselves go
We'rr happily smug...still together you know
But a few more grey hairs, bit more fat on the bods
Underneath we're still us...the Grabby Old Sods
So hands in your pockets please, give us your dough
Post it all in our box...and away we will go!
But first to the chemist, to buy some viagra
And a carrot, should the pills not allow me to shag her!
A dirty weekend? Paid for, wholly, by you
Well I must be on glue
Cos I think that IABU!

[MarthasHarbour]

buggarme yes yes i was INCENSED by the lack of rhyme, pace and tone of the entire poem and posted earlier to that effect.

Yours on the other hand is Keats-esque!

[bubblegoose]

Underneath we're still us...the Grabby Old Sods



The original poem is utterly cringeworthy! Why oh why do people write poems for wedding (and anniversary) invites? Does anyone know? What is it about hiring a hall and buying a nice frock that brings out the crappy poets in force?

[BeCool]

I find it totally odd people celebrate other people wedding anniversaries

[BeCool]

put a note in with the beans:

"It wasn't any fuss at all - I knew exactly what to get you"



You could even make it rhyme if you could be bothered.

[BuggarMeGently]

Ooh...another one for me!

Manners in your house are rare, it seems
You hope we'll fund your "shagfest" dreams
So I'd like to present you with one tin of beans
With fetching "heinz" packaging-art

They have a cash value of 69p
But I've lost the receipt...oh, silly old me!
So why don't you eat, then competitively
See who can emit the best fart?