to feel so bloody relieved I've finally handed my notice in?

[NurseyWursey]

as my name suggests I'm a nurse.

If any of you have been on my threads lately you might know I suffer from depression and have for a while, but had a break down a few weeks ago and was unable to go into work.

I was asked to go to a disciplinary at work. Their view was I should have come in despite being signed off because they're shorted staffed they've obviously never seen a meltdown before.

So I walked in and handed my notice in.

immediately a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I still feel bad, but not the screamy on the floor, scared of opening the front door, wrap myself up a duvet and hide away 'bad'.

AIBU? Do you think I was right to or should I have handled it another way?

X Post

Nursey be prepared to walk away from the constructive dismissal if you think it is holding you back.

I think if I were to take it further legally I'd have to wait until I got better. Chaz made an excellent point in which recovery was hindered. I don't want to keep engaging with these people in my current state - but nor do I want them to get away with it.

Is there a time limit on these things?

Bollocks, serves me right for searching for the relevant info & not checking the thread again before posting - sorry!

Nursey be prepared to walk away from the constructive dismissal if you think it is holding you back

Thankyou, what you've said is what I was thinking of in the back of my mind. I'd rather get better to be honest. How are you and your DP now? Okay I hope.

allergic noo it's fine, any info is well and gladly received!

Oldwomaninashoe, you are describing my current work situation .

Apologies, I've only skimmed some of your other threads so you've probably already covered this. Are you in a union and if so could you ask their advice re constructive dismissal?

And want to say well done - you've definitely done the right thing for your longterm health.

He is a lot better now. He spent some time as a SAHD which worked well for all of us and now he has started his own business. It took him a fair while to be himself again and I think the whole tribunal process was part of the problem.

The time limit for a tribunal application is short - 3 months from your last day of employment I think.

Their view was I should have come in despite being signed off because they're shorted staffed

that is illegal as if you are signed of work then they are not insured

That's a good point Chaz. Conversely, for some, getting a dig back at an employer who has behaved badly, can be extremely cathartic! IMO it's worth calmly considering.

Agree with Chaz that taking a claim may delay the healing process but equally when you are feeling better you may regret not leaving the option open. Time limits are tight (three months less one day from the date of your resignation) so speak to your union if you are a member and they should be able to help you work through it. Well done for having the courage to resign!

Jenny
It can be cathartic but the process could well be brutal. The employer may well rake up everything that they can to throw at the OP. Its not a one sided fight as you know.

For example, unless they put it on email, text or a recorded phone line that the OP should come to work when signed off or someone was stupid enough to officially document that conversation then I would bet money that they would deny that conversation ever took place.

If they called her in for a disciplinary meeting, that should be on record including the reasons for it?

It depends if someone wrote down sickness absence outside of sickness policy or if they wrote refusing to work when signed off.

This is speculation on my part obviously. What I am trying to say is that even though you would like to get back at an unfair employer don't pursue it to the detriment of your wellbeing. Unless there is fairly clear evidence that the employer has behaved badly, it can be a tough fight.

Nursey - you don't have to make a decision yet anyway. Give yourself a week or two to catch your breath and then see how you feel.

Good points from Chaz
Nursey good luck and best wishes for your recovery.

I walked away from a bad job last year and haven't looked back since.

You only get one life - it's not worth wasting it on an awful employer. Good luck.

Ah well done, hope you start feeling better soon. I was in a similar situation and ended up leaving my job. My boss was really unreasonable and refused to pay me stat sick pay and money owed to me from previously but I felt so much happier being away from the situation I didn't bother to chase it up. An employment lawyer (a close friend) was outraged I didn't pursue it to get what I was owed, and I am still trying to catch up financially now (a year on) but it was SO worth it.
Health is so much more important.
xxx

NurseyWursey If you still want to practise as a nurse because you enjoy it, why not try some care home work? There's some good homes out there and the environment isn't that stressful.

Another option might be to go on a nursing agency. If you don't mind visiting different places then it can give you a good overview of the types of work environments out there and you might find something you really enjoy.

Thankuou everyone

hiddenhome that's a brilliant suggestion, I'll look into that when I feel ready to work again. I really do enjoy working with elderly people so a care home would be fab.

Well done

I'm just about to leave a vile job,i'm an experienced and expensive teacher. I trained to teach and to encourage children not fill out pointless bits of paper. Also not prepared to put up with bullying.

nursey fancy a big night out celebrating leaving vile jobs?

Congratulations! I would be reluctant to pursue constructive dismissal too, IME they'll drag it out and put you through a detailed and gruelling process with lies and intimidation along the way. Better to walk away and feel better

I left a job some years ago because of a bullying manager but did not pursue constructive dismissal as I felt it would cause a lot of stress I would struggle with. I have never looked back

Good luck nursey

Nursey, it's worthwhile exploring the option. If you can demonstrate their unsympathetic nature because of your depression, there are ways and means to minimise your contact with them whilst going through tribunal by using lawyers etc. Check out local legal aid / pro bono solicitors - they can give you a lot of excellent advice and a lot of them offer free half hour advice sessions which will mean you can at least find out more about the process.

sweetheart, you deserve it. As a stb wife of an A&E nurse, you guys are treated horrifically. He had norovirus at Christmas and when I phoned in for him because he was literally halfway down the toilet bowl, one of the managers (who is a tosser at the best of times) was very cross he wasn't coming in. Ridiculous. He threw up every time he sat up. Good luck cannulating a patient then...

guggen how amazing that would be, except we'd probably all get drunk and have a big massive moan! haha

Thankyou again you lovely people, just reading this makes me feel better - even when nasty 'friends' have made comments about money etc.

wyldchyld Your poor DH. It really is beggers belief. Expected to take care of the sick but not allowed to take care of ourselves.

And I think I shall have that glass of wine cheers!

Nursey tell me about it. The number of times he has gone in when realistically he shouldn't have because they're too short staffed and the hoops to be jumped through if they are ill are just too much to handle. It's obscene. Nursing pay isn't great at the best of times, particularly when balanced up with what you're expected to do so to be treated like you've been is disgusting.

You deserve it, m'dear, have a portion of homemade sticky toffee pudding to go with it hug.