To dread Mother's Day because I don't have a 'normal' relationship with my Mum?

[rubyblue]

Every year it is a reminder of how disfunctional my Mum is (depressed alcoholic for 30 years, violent, manipulative etc) and how we do not have any semblance of a relationship left. I dutifully send a card, gave up on pressies years ago when even I realised what a sham it was to pretend that she was a great Mum. Mostly I don't think about her as she is almost a recluse now and all contact is through my long suffering (weak) Dad, but sometimes I feel sad and mourn for a relationship which I have not had since I was younger than ten. Sorry, feeling a bit down about it all.

I know these things are just commercial crass, it's like Christmas, everyone assumes the mother/child relationship is sacrosanct.

Facebook is definitely to be avoided.
All those people saying how great their mothers are and how much they love them. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not feeling the same.
Then there's the others that have been spoilt by their DCs or DHs.
I'm here alone while DH takes DD to MILs.
Good chance for an afternoon nap though. . . .
Nice to know I'm not alone, but horrible for you all :(

I no longer see my mother as she moved to the other side of the world

I always used to struggle with cards though

We never had a good relationship and the wording in Mother's Day cards was always far too nice

I don't buy cards anymore just a brief email

Now I have my own children Mother's Day is about me and them not my bad relationship with my own mother

It's so depressing going to the card shop having to flip through to find the most non committal card.

I think it's hits you hard once you have your own DC who you want the best for, hug 100 times a day, tell them they are the best and you love them 100 times a day, boost their self confidence and would die for them you think why couldn't my own mother just been NICE to me

But it's absolutely shit if you don't/can't have your own children either. Mother's Day can fuck off.

Mother's Day is shit for loads of people for loads of reasons. My best friend did have a wonderful close relationship with her mother, who died a couple of years ago, so she also struggles with today

Absolutely Hester I'm on a coach returning from visiting my mother. I know she's very old but being told "you have no understanding of the feelings of a natural woman" has really upset me. When I challenged I got "You're touchy. The truth always hurts"

I was also told I was a "stupid woman" who "hasn't achieved anything".

I at least went to see her, unlike my oh so natural sister who lives a few miles away and hasn't even phoned or sent a card.

I had to leave before I cried and feel like never going back.

Don't then. What a horrible old bag :(