aibu to let kids travel unaccompanied?

[loopyluna]

Travel plans for summer involve; DS (14) and DD (12) taking an international (2 hour) flight. As "unaccompanied minors" they will be looked after by cabin crew from us leaving them to friends picking them up. Their return flight will be with 2 same age friends, so same thing.

Also, DS and his friend (also 14) will be taking a 3 hour train journey within the UK. (They'll be waved off and collected from the platform at each end.)

The kids are all fine with this and are v excited about all the jet setting involved. My DM thinks they are too young, particularly for the train, and has set my worry mode off. AIBU to let them travel like this? I'm sure I was taking the train alone at 14 but DM denies all knowledge!

I was waiting in arrivals the other day and saw the unaccompanied minors. There was a group of about 10 of them ranging from age about 5ish (with what looked like older sibling) to about 14. They had 3 staff members with them, and their passports and travel documents round their necks in folders. Relatives collecting them had to give id and sign for them. No idea where they had travelled from, but I'm in the USA and this was the international terminal, so assuming a long way. I would definitely use that service to send my kids to grandparents in the uk for holidays. Probably only for direct flights though if possible, but the airlines must have procedures for delays and cancellations.

I think 12 and 14 is a good age to start making independent journeys, especially with a travel companion and mobile phones. How else will they learn?

12 and 14 is fine IMO.

FWIW I got a plane from the USA to the UK at 10.

Oops hit post too soon!

FWIW I got a flight from the USA to the UK on my own at 10. It was diverted to Frankfurt and we had to wait in the airport for a few hours because bad weather meant we couldn't land at Heathrow. The staff were great and i was fine (this is before the days of mobiles too).

I was used to travelling on my own as I'd got the train from London to Cardiff several times on my own to visit grandparents, and used to take myself to school, 2.5 miles across London from about 8 I think.

12 and 14 is plenty old enough IMO :)

The only thing I would say is make sure they have some money on them in case of emergency when travelling (and a mobile of course). When the plane was diverted, the staff gave me to a group of elderly people of some kind of organised trip to look after. They were nice to me, but bought a snack for themselves and none for me. I thought that was unfair at the time, still a bit miffed about it 30 years later in fact

^^ should havd said, I had no money on my to buy my own snack!

Wow - that was a bit mean of those people wiggly!

Just to reassure anyone worrying about delays, there are processes in place whereby a designated member of staff would stay with a child, even overnight if necessary (there is no way they'd be handed over to anyone else, heads would roll if that ever happened!). Food etc would be provided. All staff are obviously DRB/CRB checked to the hilt.

I'm amazed that people think that 12 and 14 are too young to travel on a train. I was catching trains to school from the age of 11, my dh was flying abroad unaccompanied from the age of 11 ( and I mean unaccompanied) every school holiday, and that was long before mobile phones. He also had to make his own way to Heathrow from his boarding school which involved a train to London, tube across London to Victoria, then coach to Heathrow.

My 2 dc are teens, they have been travelling on public buses without adults from the age of 11 (ds1) and 10 (ds2). And so have most of their friends.

Please don't panic too much, they will be fine and all the better for bring given some independence.

I never bothered with the 'unaccompanied minors' thing on planes when my daughter was travelling solo at the age of 13/14. Not for short flights. She was quite able to go and find an adult in charge of things if she had any problems and she could text me right up until the time she was sitting down in her seat on the plane and I would just be waiting in the Costa in departures to make sure all was well. Then the French family would be waiting at arrivals.

When I was that age they stopped treated you as a UM at 12, so from that age I was flying as an adult and also responsible for my sister. Husband had much the same experience. He used to fly from the far East to UK via Moscow, I used to do various permutations of European countries via Heathrow.

I do have memories from when we were 10 and 7 of the air hostesses who were responsible for us for 7 hours at Heathrow saying 'So have you got some money? Why don't you go for a wander for a few hours then? Be back at booth 24 at 4pm.'

They don't do that any more, but BA did have an incident a few years ago where they mixed up two young boys and one ended up in Paris and the other in Brazil, if I remember rightly.

My DS travelled alone at this age on short international flights. I found the security on aeroplanes far better than the internal train trip, tbh. We rehearsed the train trip with shorter trips, because there are railway stations where you really need to know where you're going and/or you need to learn to look out for signage and read the signs properly.

But if they're excited by the challenge, go for it!

I was an 'unaccompanied minor' at 13 on a flight. Even way back then when security was nowhere near as tight as it is now I couldn't have gone the wrong way if I'd tried. The airline staff stayed with me and the inherent one way system they put in airports ment I could have done t completely alone with ease. I was stocked up with contact numbers too just in case.

My youngest DD is 14 and I would send her on the train, in fact as long as she has friends with her she is allowed to go into London shopping which isn't much different.

She is also a well seasoned flyer and I would have no problem sending her on a 2 hour flight especially as an unaccompanied minor, although she would not want/need this at 14 but would have at 12.

Loopy my 12yo travels 2 hours to/ from London every week and also crosses London on the tube by herself. My other DCs also flew as accompanied minors from age 8. Your DCs will be fine.

The flight as accompanied minors will be more structured than the train, there is less to go wrong as they will be accompanied right through. We have had a few issues over the winter with the trains, cancellations and the like with bad weather. The worst was when the whole east coast line was closed and we had to find a way to get her from London to Yorkshire. But if you put them on the train and they are met at the end you won't have a problem.

You can follow their train journey online at National Rail.com or on the train companies website. It gives all information about lateness, disruptions and line problems. The train companies also have twitter accounts which has been invaluable for us.

My tips for the train are-

Avoid journey times when people are travelling to/from football matches. It can get rowdy, swearing/drunks. This is mainly Saturdays. Saturday evening in particular.

Sit in a busy carriage, you can book their seats online. Book them as a two rather than on a table seat. They don't have to sit with strangers then.

Make sure mobile phones are charged, most trains have seat sockets too.

Make sure they have money.

If there is a problem, tell them to find the guard or station staff if they are offloaded ( if train breaks down for example.) the staff will sort out an onward journey, they will not have to pay for another ticket.

If you book way in advance ( up to 3 months) consider booking them into first class. If you do this early enough certain train times fares off peak will be cheaper than a standard ticket only booked a week or two in advance. Those carriages are more heavily staffed as people are coming through serving food and drinks all the time. Search National Rail for this.

If it makes you feel better, my brother and I travelled from London to NZ as unaccompanied minors when we were 10 and 8. We had a ball - they looked after us really well and we got to hand out the sweets and keep all the leftovers :)

It all sounds fine to me...

My middle DD started to travel between Liverpool and Manchester at 14.

The only problem that has ever happened is that the Guard hasn't believed that my teen DD's are under 16, so shouldn't have a child ticket.

They have been on the receiving end of some very intimidating behaviour (from staff). I've always complained.

Just prep your children incase different scenarios happen.

Especially not answering back anyone drunk/flirting with them and to ignore anyone who is behaving unusually.

That's in regards to train travel.

Wibbly yes I thought so too!

"Just to reassure anyone worrying about delays, there are processes in place whereby a designated member of staff would stay with a child, even overnight if necessary (there is no way they'd be handed over to anyone else, heads would roll if that ever happened!). Food etc would be provided. All staff are obviously DRB/CRB checked to the hilt."

Yes sorry I should have emphasised, when I travelled as a UM it was 30 years ago, before CRB checks and the like even existed!

Yes birds ID is a good idea. DD has her oyster zip card as proof of age.

A couple of anecdotes about things going wrong and how we sorted it-

East coast line closed. All trains cancelled. Staff at Kings Cross tried to put DD on various trains in a northerly direction but it would have meant changing at various unknown stations with no guarantees of onward connections. Thankfully 3 trains were full and in that time I had tweeted east coast and they told me Virgin were accepting their tickets. DD made a quick tube ride to Euston and got on the first Virgin train to Manchester where I met her. You won't have a problem like that if you are putting them on the train.

Second. I put DD on her train at wakefield. My mum was dying at the time and I had been at her bedside all night. No sooner had the train left DD text to say she hadn't got her ticket. It was in my pocket!! Cue me crying at the information desk. They quickly phoned the guard on the train and it was sorted.

I wouldn't personally but it's your choice and your responsibility.

Me and my brother did it at 8 and 11.
8 hour international flight there and then did it back
On my own.

It was fine. My mother left us at the terminal
With cabin crew. They looked
After us very will (Virgin Atlantic) and my
Dad met us at the other end.

No problem, absolutely fine, give them
Everything they need and all the information they need. There is plenty of people around to help - they are old enough and this will be fun for them.
Go ahead!!

DD1 flew to her grandma in Spain when she was 10, think she flew BA about 3 years ago. Only pain was there were no direct flights which would take UM so had to change at Madrid. She absolutely loved it (especially as she can say she's been to Madrid & I haven't). She loved it even more because they lost her luggage so grandma went out and bought her a completely new wardrobe. she got her luggage last day of her holiday.
Enjoyed it so much i think she was a bit miffed when we all flew out together a month later and she wasn't given the royal treatment!

I really don't understand what people think the issue is with a 12 and 14 yo, travelling together but unaccompanied, is.

How on earth are you preparing them to be independent? I'm more worried about DD crossing roads safely than putting her on a train.

I flew as an UM at age 10 including transfers and was looked after every step of the way, can only imagine it would be moreso these days.

We thought nothing last weekend of getting DS1 (10)'s friends mum to put DS on a train to come home to us after a birthday party - 1hr intercity train journey. He's a somewhat un-worldly-wise 10yr old but even he can cope with being put on a train by someone and getting off at the right stop an hour later, he has no mobile, but we equip him with necessary phone numbers so he can always ask for help from a member of staff or a member of the public if necessary.