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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's inconsiderate to travel in the quiet coach with small children

267 replies

someonestolemynick · 23/03/2014 20:41

That, really.

I make a point of sitting in the quiet coach, where available in order to be able to work, read or just be alone with my own thoughts.

Today I'm joined by a young family with a baby. Of course, the baby starts crying whenever we go through a tunnel. Arrrgh! I know children make noice, hence KEEP.THEM.OUT.OF.THE.QUIET.ZONE.

AIBU?

OP posts:
angelos02 · 25/03/2014 10:48

Ubik1. Are you one of those people that watches tv on a train without headphones on as per another thread? Utter disregard for the people around you?

OnlyLovers · 25/03/2014 10:50

A train is public transport not an office for you to do your work.

No one is disputing this. All anyone has asked for is quiet in the Quiet Coach. This may be because people want to work in peace, or it may be because they just want to have a quiet train journey.

This is really not hard to understand. I can only imagine that those saying, essentially, 'Fuck the Quiet Coach rules' are being deliberately obtuse and may be the same kind of people who happily strike up inane conversations on their mobiles while sitting next to the 'Quiet Coach' window sticker, and/or ignore or are rude to people who politely ask them to be quiet and indicate the sticker.

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 10:52

This is really not hard to understand. I can only imagine that those saying, essentially, 'Fuck the Quiet Coach rules' are being deliberately obtuse and may be the same kind of people who happily strike up inane conversations on their mobiles while sitting next to the 'Quiet Coach' window sticker, and/or ignore or are rude to people who politely ask them to be quiet and indicate the sticker.

^ THIS

Ubik1 · 25/03/2014 11:07

Um...no angelo Confused

I am too busy looking after three children to watch TV on the train. We don't actually have iPads etc. Just my phone which I don't use in the quiet carriage.

We did have a lovely journey once where my children were treated to the soundtrack of, I think, Full Metal Jacket..or it could have been Hamburger Hill, some Vietnam movie anyway.

Are you Matthew Wright by the way?

angelos02 · 25/03/2014 11:32

Not Matthew Wright. I just don't see why you can't grasp that noise is noise.

Ubik1 · 25/03/2014 11:37

I'm sorry angelo..."noise is noise"... Help me out a little here, pal...yes noise by definition is noise. Indeedy. And your point is.....?

Fleta · 25/03/2014 11:38

UpTheChimney

Not at all. I'm a considerate member of society - I don't want to have to be shoved away in what - let's face it - would be a place where some parents assumed they could allow their children carte blanche on behaviour.

My daughter and I enjoy our quiet train journeys - we like doing puzzles, colouring. Chatting quietly. Sometimes we both put in headphones with an adaptor and watch a movie together. We don't leave our seats unless we pop to the loo, she doesn't run around or cause anyone a problem. I wouldn't like to have our journey disrupted.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 25/03/2014 11:38

I think the fact that someone (tethersend) tried to move her and her kids out of the quiet coach and the company wanted to charge her £20 for the privilege demonstrates the train company's view that kids in the quiet coach is absolutely fine.

I have never taken the kids on the train but if I do I will do my best to avoid causing disruption for other people but I will not be a martyr to it. So if I realise our booked seats are in the quiet coach I'll try and change them. I won't pay £20 for it though. If I can't then I would probably get on the train at the carriage next to the Quiet coach and check if there are any suitable free seats there before I take my booked seats. If there are not I won't be walking the entire train with 2 kids, a buggy and luggage and I won't be sitting on the floor. I will be sitting in the seats I have booked and paid for. I will try and keep the kids quiet (but then I'd do that in the "noisy" seats) but I won't be drugging them to try and make them sleep.

If someone in the quiet coach really objects to them and is happy to 1. Trawl the train to find me suitable seats to move to and 2. Help lug them and all our stuff to the new seats then I would move but I suspect they wouldn't.

As an aside a combination of a comprehensive education and playing a ball sport at a high level (so spending my weekends at tournaments and having to do my homework between matches) means that I can work through anything. (Including on one particularly notable occassion a fire alarm!) Perhaps this is something that should be considered when people make the whole state / private school decision.

tethersend · 25/03/2014 11:50

"So, any ideas?

Yes, complain to your train company"

One step ahead, Reginald; I've done exactly that. It has changed nothing. I and my young and loud children are still going to be sitting in the quiet coach unless I stump up extra cash to change the booking or run up and down the train trying to find seats- neither of which are reasonable options when you have already paid for reserved seats.

Yes, I chose to have them sort of
Yes, I'm choosing to travel.

In my other life, I frequently work on the train. Because I chose to have the job I do. Sometimes I even choose to sit in the quiet carriage. However, I don't judge families who sit in the quiet carriage, as I know that most of the time, they have had no say in the matter.

Maybe the passengers who don't want children in the quiet coach should complain to the train company too?

elastamum · 25/03/2014 11:51

The quiet coach doesnt ban children, it is just suggested that you refrain from using mobiles and making unnecessary noise.

So you can if you wish sit there with your children. Some children (including mine) are pretty quiet themselves.

But it isnt unreasonable for someone to politely remind you that it is supposed to be a quiet environment, if you let your PFB scream the place down or play loud music.

Its just consideration for other service users. Should that be so difficult? Hmm

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 11:52

Ubik Noise is noise. And there is meant to be very little of it in the quiet carriage. So whether it's caused by you, your children, your headphones, or your mobile phone conversation, it's requested that you either a) refrain from making it or b) move. Again, it's really not difficult.

I very much like to have heard the conversation where the train company charged £20 to re-assign seats. I'm wondering if it wasn't explained clearly, I wonder how strongly the poster pushed to have the seats moved, I wonder about the person they spoke to, and I wonder how busy the train was. I travel on numerous different train lines and have never been charged for moving my seat for a reason like that (they've moved it so I'm not near a toilet, so I would very much doubt that they wouldn't move you from a quiet zone). I'm not saying that isn't what you were told, I'm just wondering how firm that company's policies are, and what other circumstances were around that decision.

tethersend · 25/03/2014 11:54

I will consider chloroform, if anyone's offering.

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 11:54

Maybe the passengers who don't want children in the quiet coach should complain to the train company too?

I don't care if there are children in the quiet carriage, nor does anyone (that I have seen post on here so far). The issue is the noise, and the parents who do nothing to stop them when they make noise.

tethersend · 25/03/2014 12:00

"I very much like to have heard the conversation where the train company charged £20 to re-assign seats. I'm wondering if it wasn't explained clearly, I wonder how strongly the poster pushed to have the seats moved, I wonder about the person they spoke to, and I wonder how busy the train was"

Feel free to call East Midlands trains and ask about their policy.

Other seats were available, they refused to change seats as I have booked advanced tickets.

Please google my previous posts to see if I am a pushover.

I have spoken to three different people, including a manager.

If you would still like to question the truth of my posts, please do. Moreover, if you feel that you would be able to get my seats changed for no additional charge, let me know; I'll PM you the booking reference and you can have a bash Smile

TillyTellTale · 25/03/2014 12:01

I don't like the way this thread's going. Children in the quiet carriage is an insignificant problem.

Can we please focus our concentrated Mumsnet ire on people who don't take their mobile phone calls beyond the doors? And loud yakkers?

tethersend · 25/03/2014 12:02

"The issue is the noise, and the parents who do nothing to stop them when they make noise."

So it's ok for my 1yo to cry as long as I make enough "shh" ing noise?

Or is it the crying itself which rankles?

I can't find out the guidelines anywhere on the website of the twain company which sold me the seats, you see.

tethersend · 25/03/2014 12:03

Grin at 'twain'- typo not toddler speak Grin

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 12:06

tethersend Wasn't questioning the truth of your post at all. As mentioned, I 100% believe that you were told that, but just very surprised about it because I have never encountered any trouble when trying to switch seats.

Seriously, send 'em over. I pride myself on my powers of persuasion, and I'd love to give it a go. If I can't, I will announce in full view of all on the thread that it can't be done, and I will try my hardest to be a bit less judgmental to loud families in the quiet zone on East Midlands trains Grin.

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 12:08

No, because going "Shhh" doesn't actually stop the child crying, so you're not only stopping the noise, but contributing to it as well! Confused

As I said above, I think a good guideline is a library, or a church if you're so inclined.

tethersend · 25/03/2014 12:11

"No, because going "Shhh" doesn't actually stop the child crying, so you're not only stopping the noise, but contributing to it as well!"

I know Reginald, that's why I said it Wink

TillyTellTale · 25/03/2014 12:11

There was a ghastly pair of talkers on the 25th February train to Londonn arriving at around 6pm, by the way.

If either of them is reading, I want you to know I despise you both. Not just for your manners, but also for your classist, vacuous opinions. None of the things you broadcast in your outside voice were things that cast you in a positive light.

tethersend · 25/03/2014 12:12

Ooh, are you serious about calling them?

tethersend · 25/03/2014 12:12

Shall I tweet them this thread? Grin

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 12:14

tethersend Completely serious! No, don't tweet them yet... I want my challenge to be fair, so no giving them advance warning!

ReginaldBlinker · 25/03/2014 12:14

If I fail, I'll report back, and then you can tweet them and tell them they're all fuckers. Grin