I am being very U, aren't I, to be pissed off with DP for striking

[PollyCazaletWannabe]

DP and I are both teachers. DP had been at the same school for 11 years but resigned in December after basically being pushed into it by unpleasant bullying HT. Since then she has had some supply work but this has not been regular- she only recently got a long term supply job but this finishes at May half term; she is also not paid for the Easter holidays. Although we can manage on my salary, we have had to cut back; we can't really afford to go out more than once a month and have had to cancel a break we were planning at Easter. (BTW I realise we are much, much better off than many, but we are a lot worse off than before).

We are both NUT members but DP is much more involved than me. When this Wednesday's strike was announced, I told DP that I wouldn't be striking as the money I would lose was equivalent to a whole week's budget for food, travel and the Friday night takeaway which is now our only treat. She wasn't working at the time but agreed.

Now she is working she has said she is going to strike, and is also banging on at me about the political reasons for doing so, making me feel guilty for not striking. AIBU to feel aggrieved? I have basically been supporting us since Dec and am going against my principles and not striking for money reasons. DP seems to be ignoring our day to day situation in favour of her principles. I'm cross- AIBU?

Maybe you should ask her to do the shopping next week?

Yabu about the strike but you are not alone. I am always shocked at how many of my unionised colleagues are totally happy to cross the picket line. I'm not a teacher but am in a public sector profession where shit often hits the fan and I think, as others have already said, that these are people who pay their union dues because they recognise their vulnerability to getting covered in shit and want someone to protect/support them should that occur. They think of the fees as insurance for that and either have no real concept of or simply reject as old-fashioned the notion of workers uniting for better conditions, pay and profile. I think roasted is amazingly honourable to the point of recklessness? to refuse to be this kind of union member on principle, actually.

You don't get paid for the holidays either, as a teacher so that's not relevant.
What would your dp do of you forced her to budget with you and work out how you could both make this work!

you can't eat your principles sorry

Supply teachers can't participate in the strike.

From the NUT website : Supply teachers are equally affected by the issues underlying the dispute. All NUT supply teacher members were included in the 2012 pay and conditions ballot for schools and academies. However, they can only take part in strike action or action short of strike action where they are employed directly by local authorities or schools and academies. They cannot take part where they are undertaking work for which they are employed by a supply teaching agency.

That last part is interesting- we have a long term agency supply and she is striking. Might mention it to her- wont drop her in it though.

I am in the same position as roasted. Against striking- far more into negotiation etc- previously a union rep. Currently without a union as strikes have become more frequent- don't like the idea of not striking when your union is out. Resent the ridiculous amount union leaders are paid too.

OP - How did you end up with this imbalance of financial responsibility in your relationship? Have you always managed the money side of things? And was your DP always spendthrift or has it got worse since she left her job?

Oh and YANBU to be pissed off by the situation, but YABU to compromise your principles rather than telling your DP to be more responsible.