I am being very U, aren't I, to be pissed off with DP for striking

[PollyCazaletWannabe]

DP and I are both teachers. DP had been at the same school for 11 years but resigned in December after basically being pushed into it by unpleasant bullying HT. Since then she has had some supply work but this has not been regular- she only recently got a long term supply job but this finishes at May half term; she is also not paid for the Easter holidays. Although we can manage on my salary, we have had to cut back; we can't really afford to go out more than once a month and have had to cancel a break we were planning at Easter. (BTW I realise we are much, much better off than many, but we are a lot worse off than before).

We are both NUT members but DP is much more involved than me. When this Wednesday's strike was announced, I told DP that I wouldn't be striking as the money I would lose was equivalent to a whole week's budget for food, travel and the Friday night takeaway which is now our only treat. She wasn't working at the time but agreed.

Now she is working she has said she is going to strike, and is also banging on at me about the political reasons for doing so, making me feel guilty for not striking. AIBU to feel aggrieved? I have basically been supporting us since Dec and am going against my principles and not striking for money reasons. DP seems to be ignoring our day to day situation in favour of her principles. I'm cross- AIBU?

I think you need to support your dp's decision over striking, rethink your own decision, and address the financial issues generally as a separate thing.

you pay union dues for the legal protection etc it's not like joining the union is free so if you pay for legal protection you can call on it when you need it, agreeing with everything they say does not come with paying for anything, your DP is being a pain about giving up a days pay but still spending it, if she wants your support for a strike and you to strike too, she needs to be part of the personal economising that enables you to go without 2 days pay

she is BU to expect to take the moral high ground on striking but you to take the financial burden for both her striking and maybe yours

i can understand her wanting you to strike but I thinking striking is a waste of time in any job not just teaching and it always inconveniences people who can't change things whether parents with a childcare problem, people who can't get to work as suddenly no public transport etc

I agree with scottish

This is a relationship issue, not a political one.

If you work full-time as a teacher, losing a day's pay is not going to put you on the breadline. If a day's pay buys you a week's food, travel and a takeaway then you are not too badly off. What does the other 29 days a month go on?

I don't know how you can be in a union and not strike with its members. This isn't about money. It's about not having the same principles as everyone else. I hope you are changing unions before the strike. I could not show my face in school on strike day if I were you.

I find your tone unnecessarily aggressive yourehavinglaugh but I will answer :
Rent, bills, council tax, car insurance for DP, petrol for DP and supporting DSD at uni. Oh, and charity donations. And, of course, union dues

I think you should leave the sponging fucker.

Wow ENormaSnob... If that is sarcasm (which I presume it is) I assume you mean that IABU?!

By the way, it perhaps doesn't help that lots of teachers in my school aren't striking, despite being union members. I am in a very politically apathetic school. But it winds me up that many people will see me as apathetic when I am just worried about money. If DP doesn't get a job soon we will find the summer holidays very difficult to manage :(

No it wasnt sarcasm.

I loathe adults that rely on others to financially support them.

I'm honestly startled that people are willing to have the pay and conditions that unions fight for, but aren't willing to be in the union that fought for them. I don't think I have it in me to be that much of a freeloading scab.

Oh! Ok.. Well it wasn't really DP's fault that she had to leave her job! It would be a bit harsh to leave on account of that. I do think she needs to cut her cloth a bit more carefully, but I'm certainly not thinking of leaving over it.

That's just itKisses I don't want to be a 'freeloading scab' but feel I can't strike as we will not be able to manage financially if I do, especially given the Easter holidays are coming up and DP does not get paid for holidays.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. DP was called to strike on more than one occasion (not a teacher) when I was on statutory maternity pay. He didn't want to strike and we really couldn't afford it but he was left with no choice. His working life would have been hell if he had crossed the picket line. What did the strikes achieve? Absolutely nothing.

If you are a member of a union that has conducted a legal ballot and then decides to call a strike, I think YABVVVVU if you don't also turn out. This is part of the deal of union membership: if you don't like it, rescind your union membership or find another one.

This. YABVU.

I took part in industrial action 2 years ago (different sector).

FWIW, we lost a day's pay, but prevented changes to our pension contributions that would have cost us the equivalent of a day's pay every second month for the rest of our working lives.

polly

Apply to the hardship fund, that is what it is there for.

It's a tough one. But I think, if you have committed to a union, you should honour their strike.

I do think unions have teachers over a barrel when it comes to striking though. I work in a school where striking isn't an option so, as a result, almost nobody (from a 50+ strong staffroom) is in a union. If you listen to popular opinion that is very very foolish and irresponsible of us. But we can't strike so what's the option? (other than Voice which I don't think is very well known - I was told about it on here and keep meaning to look into it. Not sure it's big enough to be much use.)

I think you should both strike. It's important to fight these changes and cuts. All we have is our labour.
You can't be serious about no food shopping if you lose one days pay.

I don't think YABU. Your DP should put her own family first, I don't think she is in a position where she has the luxury of being able to lose money for her family or not.

It should have been a joint decision, and the fact that she told you she was striking rather than discussing the implications of it with you and making a choice together is very selfish of her.

It is scary from a financial point of view. No one looses a days wages for fun! My husband is striking and this will affect us too.
However teachers have to try and be heard and valued!
Their work really can make a difference and open up opportunities for children.
There's a lot of 'teacher bashing' goes on which is grossly unfair imo as I personally observe how many hours and 'giving of themselves' as people goes on.

YABU about striking. EVERYONE who strikes loses a days pay and faces a short cash month and potential financial difficulty. We struggled terribly last time we went on strike, but if you are in a union and a democratic vote is in favour of strike then you strike. You are not losing anymore than anyone else.

YANBU to ask questions of the financial equality in your relationship, and it sounds like you and DP need a talk - however the strike is not relevant to that.

Surely that is one of the points that going on strike is making. That you feel so strongly about an issue that you are willing to loose a days wages.

This is one of the reasons it has an impact on others and makes them sit up and take notice of the issues that are causing the strike.

Your dp obviously feels strongly about it. She is willing to strike even though it will cause her financial hardship. She's not doing it for the hell of it.

But Savoy it will not cause DP financial hardship- it will cause me financial hardship. DP just seems to carry on buying things as she always did- I am the one who budgets for food etc.
for example I got pissed off this afternoon when DP criticised me for shopping at Lidl. She claims not to like the food from there. Well, at the moment it's all we can afford. She doesn't seem to realise.