To think my brother should give me the money back for this?

[morefalafel]

6 years ago I lent my brother my bike (under duress from my Mum to help him out). It was sitting in my mums shed, unused as I had bought it to use when I didn't have a car and then stopped using it when I did get one.

It was £279, plus however much on lights, helmet, and lock.

I then heard that he had 'ruined' it after about a year of use. From that I took to mean it had rusted through him not looking after it.

I am now in a situation where I don't have a car and so would like my bike back. I have asked for it back as even if its rusted, tires flat etc, I can still make something of it. My brother and Mum have stalled on this so I now believe the bike to have been stolen. (Despite me having given my brother a sturdy lock)

From what my Mum has said, he is annoyed at me "Making this all about money", which it is a little but mostly I just want a bike and given that I bought one for myself already, I dont see why I should pay out again for another one when he neglected to look after one that was loaned to him.

Even if this is about the money - because it was an awfully expensive bike to replace, AIBU?

I'm in the minority who'd shrug and think 'Fair enough' (if sold) or 'Oh well' (if stolen/broken). However, I don't know where the cost threshold lies at which I'd be annoyed (someone rearrange that last sentence into better English, can't quite see it).

Six years! Six years! It was de facto his, it would be worthless now.

oh and no, I do 'nt have anything at my parents house. I have my own house, I put my stuff in it, what I can't store or use, I've got rid of - my parents house/loft/shed is not my free storage unit.

If you don't want something enough to actually have it and house it yourself, you don't really want it.

(agreed that after 6 years unused in a shed, your bike would have cost you a fortune to get back to useable state, probably far more than it was worth)

I think it's been sold probably by your mother. To be honest having something unused in a shed for six years is a long time and it probably would have cost you around fifty quid to fettle it up. It depends what you want to do regarding family unity. If you think relationships are more important then you are just going to have to chalk this to experience and never lend anything again. You could ask for a contribution towards a new bilke. I think a good second hand one would be best.

I'm sad that your brother disrespected your kind favour to him and ruined your bike, OP. I think that's the crux of it and to not offer any help towards a new one and say it's about money is an insult. He is the one who needs to think about family relations, frankly.

I think you're being a little disingenuous.You were happy enough for your mum to be tripping over it while you weren't using it despite having room for it yourself.

I think YABU to stir things up over something you haven't bothered yourself over for six years especially when you knew it had been 'ruined' after a year. If you were that bothered you'd have addressed it then.

I still have lots of things at my parents. My old bedroom for starters! And all it's teenage contents! I don't think that's odd at all.

Blimey - a £280 bike is good for much more than a few years' use if it's looked after! Kept in a shed, it won't rust. I'm riding to work every day on a bike that's at least 15 years old, and it's just fine! That's the great thing about bikes - they are durable if looked after. That said, I think I would have 'gone after' the bike when I heard if was 'ruined', on the basis of 'let me be the judge of that, as it's my bike...'

How miserable and petty are you? I just don't understand the mentality of some people. He's your brother not some distant relative. So what if you lent him? It's six years ffs not 6 weeks. Yes you are Being extremely cheap by making such a big issue about this after something that would have depreciated after six years. Is this how some view their own family.

Your brother owes you a bike!

So you would be happy for your sibling to borrow something from you, ruin it or maybe not ruin it but say it was ruined as a lie because it was stolen and then ignore you when you were in the same position of needing transport, coffeetea?

I'd expect more from my brother after helping him out.

Thanks littlemissgrinch, that sort of sums up how I'm feeling.

Maybe I wont ask him for the money. But I will certainly never ever be lending him anything again.

For those who ask, my mum lives alone with a large house with more bedrooms than she can manage. She had no problem at all with storing it which is why I kept it there. As walkacrossthesand has said, a bike can last many years which is why I thought he might still be using it. I wish I'd been told it was stolen rather than thinking it was still in his possession. Mum and Brother have been very vague about it despite direct questioning.

Ask your mum why, when your brother needed something, she pushed you into helping him out and loaning your things, but when you need help and for your brother to return those things, she 'doesn't want to get involved'?

Tell her she IS involved, and if she won't help, then you'll just conclude that she values your brother more than you, and that from now on you'll conduct both relationships with that in mind.

Annoying situation yes but I don't think you have a leg to stand on OP.

If you knew something had happened to the bike years ago- why didn't you make a deal out of it then. Because you didn't it's properly long gone and buried under 4 years of rubbish on a landfill.

Let it go, save energy, buy yourself a bike and lesson learnt. Next time maybe you should make a deal out of something at the time if you care about it so much

Honestly if you came to me five years after I insinuated I broke something of yours and you asked for the money I'd laugh in your face.

Exactly, what a way to act after someone has done you a favour. I think you should ask for the money but I doubt very much if you will actually get it. To those who say you just don't treat family this way, well Falafel didn't. She helped her bro out! He is the one who hasn't done the same.

Absolutely don't lend anything again. That thing about not lending something unless you're okay with never seeing it again is a good one.

Goodness, some of you have a throw away mentality.
Of course bikes last for years and years in sheds and garages without rusting away into a heap of junk metal.

I think you DB and DM are being unreasonable.
Just never lend your family anything again.

Can you find a good s/h bike?

I was laughing at the weird double standard here.

You are unreasonable for leaving something at your mums but your brother isn't unreasonable for having lost/trashed something he borrowed.

That's the dynamic in my family - I cannot avail myself of any support, facilities or items from them, but they get pissy if I say no they cannot have something I may have.

Givers and takers...

YANBU, I hate it when I loan people things and they return them broken/damaged and then ask should they replace them, half hoping the lender will say no. If you borrow it and break it or lose it, then you replace it. End of.

I named nobody.

Caps fitting, etc.

Your children may still be living with you at 45, given the current housing situation. I wouldn't be so smug yet.

Did falafel have a tantrum because her mum wasnt looking after her stuff properly or was she rightly upset because she had been told half truths about her possessions after doing her family member a favor?

My bikes been at my friends house since I moved, about 7 years ago. Her house is now leased out and the bikes in the garage.

I had assumed it was a goner.

perhaps I should ask her for £100

Yeah, £100 is such a lot of money.... Compared to the £300 odd that OP gave to her brother in the form of a bike.