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Original poster

To consider doing this (revenge related) ?

65 replies

California123 · 21/03/2014 23:23

I am 22.

I was bullied at the age of 14 in year 9 by a group of girls who branded me a lesbian and spread rumours about me to the whole class ( academic all girls school) . Everyone used to be friends with everyone and it was a whole class thing.The girls who I thought were my friends did nothing and didn't stand up for me when I needed them the most. I felt they had chosen them over me.

I remember walking in the changing room and everyone stopped talking.said it girl actually looked at me and laughed.I was the overweight and shy child- I didn't say anything to the group but this hurt so badly, I couldn't trust anyone in my class and I was angry at myself for letting this happen.I spiralled into depression and self harm and was so desperate to belong.

I stayed at that school till I was 16 as it was academic my parents didn't want to move me as we had already started gcse work. I spent those two years feeling so worthless and was sick.I had no self confidence and developed anxiety about talking to strangers and eating in front of others.

It has been 7 years since I left. Yes it doesn't hurt the same but I have accepted things.

I started a degree in biomedical science and am finishing this year but have BEEN offered a place at medical school!!!!

I truly want to rub it in their noses- I have some girls from my class on facebook but want to add others just so they could see my public message along the lines of saying thank you to everyone who made my life hell at 14 - couldn't be here without you.

Or should it just leave it?

OP posts:
BratinghamPalace · 22/03/2014 05:18

Wait for the school reunion!! The you have it live.....

daisychain01 · 22/03/2014 06:17

I agree with the majority on this one. Rise above it.

I wonder if any of them look back and regret. Sometimes people do. They get swept along by the folly and stupidity of being in a clique at school, playing to an audience. I was bullied big time, laughed at and ignored and it hurt hugely (the humiliation of biting into a piece of cake laced with washing up liquid Envy. Vile people!

Dont give them the chance for closure by re-engaging and letting them off the hook.

Well done on your hard work.

bragmatic · 22/03/2014 06:27

I'm with bratingham. Wait a few years, attend the reunion and dazzle them with your fabulousness.

Loopylouu · 22/03/2014 06:37

Well done to you! You must be so proud if your achievement and so you should be.

I had the same experience as you. Unfortunately, my life went the other way and I have achieved f-all while everyone from school has gone on to be a high flyer. I'm still affected by them 20 years on.

Kitsmummy · 22/03/2014 06:43

Leave it. If they're still arseholes then they'll be pleased to know now much they got to you and worst case scenario it could leave you open to a barrage of abuse from them.

The best payback is for you to be quietly happy and confident

CambridgeBlue · 22/03/2014 06:51

I can see why you'd want to say something but there are many reasons already pointed out why it'd be better not to. It's brilliant news about your medical school place - get on with your life, make the most of this amazing opportunity and be proud that you didn't let your past experiences hold you back. You can be whoever you want in your future life, go for it and put the past behind you once and for all Wine

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/03/2014 07:03

Don't do it.
You are better than them
wait until one of them needs emergency medical attention and it's on your first casualty shift
Wink Grin

KittensoftPuppydog · 22/03/2014 07:06

My friend from school has done this. She has a pretty amazing life now and I suppose it's natural to boast a bit.
However I think it makes her look a bit silly, as if she hasn't left her schooldays behind.
The girls we were at school with have mostly gone on to not do very much. It feels a bit mean tbh. Even though there were some right bitches at the school.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 22/03/2014 07:11

I'm sorry you care enough about them still to want revenge.

I'm also sorry as they really really won't be interested.

Please. De friend all and move on.

Good luck. Life for you sounds exciting. I loved finishing uni and feeling the world out there to have. Tis a marvellous sensation.

callamia · 22/03/2014 07:11

Congratulations in your med school place!
Bullies are rarely happy people, and they often lead fairly miserable lives in the long run. I think it's time for you to consider how far you've come, and move on. They don't need to have any kind of hold over you anymore.

I was also bullied at school, and now I study bullying - it's been so interesting to realise that people who bully aren't usually dong well at the time or afterwards. Everyone who talks about how much better their lives are than their bullies demonstrate this.

You have the power to move on, to address your issues and live a happy life. You don't need revenge over things that children did. You need to go and have a great life, and know that you've achieved brilliantly.

MaryWestmacott · 22/03/2014 07:26

I also understand why you want to, but it's making them important. You are still young so not long out of school, another 10 years and their power over you will have gone. I took great delight in looking at the old class bully's Facebook when she friended me at around 30, she looked closer to 40 and appeared to have never moved more than 1 mile from the house she grew up, was single and didn't appear to have a decent job. I realised those days of being the queen bee of the class where probably the best of her life, that adult life had been a total disappointment, and all her amazing dreams hadn't happen. On the other hand, school days had been a bit shit for me ( although not as bad as yours sound, I wasn't her main target), but adult life has been great and seems to keep getting better. (I defriended her after a little peek round her fb!)

22 is still too young to call it, put them out if your mind, get on with having a better life than they will and bit by bit you'll realise what a small part of your life that was.

Possibly have a listen to Ben Folds Five- one angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces. Might cheer you up!

ilovesooty · 22/03/2014 07:49

Don't do it unless you want to show them their approval still matters to you. Why are any of them on your Facebook if they were all horrible?

MaryWestmacott · 22/03/2014 07:52

I now have that song in my head "if you really want to see me, check the papers and the tv, look who's telling who what to do. Kiss my ass. Goodbye."

It's interesting, I've never heard a story about a successful bully.

Do you think the girls who bullied Kate Middleton so much she had to change schools regret that they missed out on being friends with the future queen?

londonrach · 22/03/2014 07:57

Leave it. The bully in my school keeps trying to friend me. Had a quick look. She unemployed and unmarried with loads of random kids from random men living in the town I grow up in. I had great pleasure in just ignoring her request. I didn't want to open that can of worms. Well done by the way. Xxx

Fluffycloudland77 · 22/03/2014 08:00

I wouldn't do it but I'd post regular updates of me starting med school, graduating, buying a massive house & fancy car etc etc.

ithaka · 22/03/2014 08:02

Leave it, live your own life.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint & their are no winners. Your life is going well at the moment. Why does it matter how their life is going?

You will all have successes and set backs along the way, don't make your life into a competition with others - that will not make you a nice person and it will not make you a happy person.

balenciaga · 22/03/2014 08:05

Congrats on your success, that's awesome x

However, I would say DONT say that on your status, but DO add them as friends so they get to see just how well you are doing. Wink

whatareyoueventalkingabout · 22/03/2014 08:09

it won't make you feel any better. someone that was horrible to me and others had a very public comeuppance for more of the same behaviour. I book marked the newspaper story. It probably makes me a horrible person for looking at it rom time to time but it proper cheers me up

whatareyoueventalkingabout · 22/03/2014 08:10

So I guess the point is wait and see

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/03/2014 08:11

Ah. Thanks for the "looks closer to 40" comment.

Nomama · 22/03/2014 08:11

Oh don't. If you do your 'weakness' will irritate the living daylights out of you in a couple of years time.

My favourite bully claims to be a clothing designer in New York.... I know she doesn't know that she moved to within 20 miles of me (about 200miles away from where we went to school) and is currently working in the same shop as my NDN Smile.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 22/03/2014 08:15

I was bullied too at a similar sounding all girls academic school.

I'm now a dentist with a good career and a very happy life.

I agree the best revenge is to live well.

MaryWestmacott · 22/03/2014 08:39

Therealamandaclarke - not saying looking 40 is bad, unless you like that woman, hadn't turn 30 yet!

Marylou62 · 22/03/2014 09:47

My greatest revenge was ignoring the 30+ requests/messages on FB from my main bully. I have NOTHING to say to her. I ignored them all. It will get back to them eventually. Congratulations. And my greatest achievement is that my DCs were neither bullied or bullies. I worked hard on that.

tiredoutgran · 22/03/2014 12:22

You really have had the best revenge by working hard and getting where you are. I had to remove my incredibly clever but suicidal 14 yo daughter from school because she was bullied by her ex best friend who had suddenly turned into a boy mad fiend who would sleep with anyone she could, she bullied my daughter because she wouldn't do the same and made her life hell. My daughter was HS by me until she went to Agricultural college, went on to the world of work and now, at 23, with only the GCSE's she paid to get at evening classes and a diploma in horse care, is earning more than I earned at the most successful point of my career and is managing staff. She works in education and is incredibly professional - she sees the FB photos her ex bully is still posting, semi clothed, and who is going nowhere fast. Best revenge ever!

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