To think this lady should not have shushed us

[Chrysanthemumtea]

In park today with a friend an our three year olds. Walking round the partially fenced pond. Three year olds running too far ahead just as we walk past woman on bench holding a baby.

"Oi, biff and boff [for that is what we have called our children], come back, too far" we shouted, so they could hear us.

Baby holding woman gave us stern look and shushed us.

Now I get that she may be the exhausted mum of a non sleeping young baby and may have just got her baby to sleep after hours of rocking and shushing. I genuinely do remember the sheer desperation and how difficult it all is when you are tired and when you are desperate for your tired baby to get some rest as well as for you to.

But it was a public park. And we really didn't want out kids to run our of sight (round corner of pond) and fall in.

Aibu to think even the exhausted mum of a sleeping baby should recognise not letting your kid drown is a reasonable reason to shout at them in park even if there is a sleeping baby nearby?

Ps if you are that mum it does get better I promise. You will probably be telling stories one day about how you were so tired you one told two women in a park not to shout at their kids for running away.

"NearTheWindymill Fri 21-Mar-14 07:34:57
Aah but when your toddlers are great big huge teenagers who make you tea and stay out all night, the wailing of a baby and the incessant yipping of toddlers combined with loud parenting is beyond what humans can endure. Is true so you were all being unreasonable because some of us have moved on to quiet, civilised worlds and have had our fill of kinder cacophony. "

Plese tell me you are serious? You have filled me with hope...
I shush inanimate objects. It's an expression of frustration. I have problems hearing and a very low tolerance for random background noise.

YANBU - it was a public park, ergo there will be noise.

4:47
"NearTheWindymill Fri 21-Mar-14 07:34:57
Aah but when your toddlers are great big huge teenagers who make you tea and stay out all night, the wailing of a baby and the incessant yipping of toddlers combined with loud parenting is beyond what humans can endure. Is true so you were all being unreasonable because some of us have moved on to quiet, civilised worlds and have had our fill of kinder cacophony. "

I have all 3, 19 year old who stays out all night, 3 year old yipping toddler and a baby.

Also an 11 year old who is great as he makes tea, i dont have to worry about were he is and he sleeps all night

Oh I remember this stage well. DH once told me off for drinking a drink with ice cubes in because it would wake DD up and I've been known to shout at the birds for starting up at 4am when DD didn't go to sleep until 3. Poor cow was probably frazzled, but YANBU, and she'll realise that one day

neither of you were being unreasonable.

there were moments during the early days of having DS, I would have told an axe wielding maniac to shush, I was so desperate for him to sleep.

in the same token, you could not have just left your children to run into the lake. And how were you to know she was sat there and in a bad way?

Unfortunate for both parties methinks.

It's true - goes to polish shiny glass table and straighten cushions in perfectly tidy and calm home. It gets a bit lonely though stealth and I look back on the halcyon days when I'd have two blonde heads in my lap to kiss and cuddle. You also only remember the good bits and the really funny bits like the remote going down the toilet

why did you allow your children to run so far ahead without stopping them earlier.

Don't you just love people who have to make these ridiculous comments?

The children weren't being allowed to run too far ahead. They were being called back.

If they'd been stopped before they were getting to far ahead there would have been no reason to stop the would there?

Lots of very patronising attitudes here towards mothers of small babies. Why do we have to assume she's somehow not coping because she said shh when someone suddenly shouted right by her sleeping baby? The stuff about "It gets better". Great advice for someone who needs/wants it, but she may well have been perfecfly fine anyway. It does come across as a little bit condescending.

I would try to avoid shouting near a small baby who was sleeping. I agree she may well have been shushing the baby. I also wouldnt read too much into what youve perceived as a stern look.

If she had actually told you directly to shut up or had a go at you for shouting, youd have a point.

Oops, sorry! Wrong thread.

How the hell did that happen?

Oh dear. Either I'm losing it or my laptop is freaking out big time.

Sorry.

Can we just debunk the myth that not tiptoeing around babies results in babies that sleep through anything please?

We live in a noisy place. Traffic lights just outside, so cars and motorbikes roar off all through the day and night. Lots of police and fire engine sirens. Noisy neighbours who stomp around upstairs all night (one is an insomniac). Very old creaky floorboards (Parisien flat built in the early 1900s). A restaurant downstairs where people sit outside and talk and laugh loudly.

DS is a terrible sleeper, and has been from day one. He is now 2.6. He will still be woken by sirens/bin men/shouting people/our neighbour etc. etc.

I think YWBU to shout right next to the pram, but NBU to shout in general as its a public park. Anyway, her shush was probably an automatic reaction, not a conscious one.

Can we just debunk the myth that not tiptoeing around babies results in babies that sleep through anything please?

Yes to this!

I was given the same advice and tried to live by it from day one. Actually on day one it worked because she was doped up to the eyeballs on my Pethidine. However, within a couple of weeks it was patently clear that she wasn't going to sleep through any noise whatsoever and, by that time, I was so sleep deprived I was no longer prepared to push it. Even me sliding quietly into bed next to the cot was enough to wake her every bloody night.

When DD2 it was apparent from day one that she was able to sleep through anything and everything. What a relief!

Some babies, maybe the majority, will sleep through noise. Some won't and there's sod all you can do about it.

Ha! Of course I have kids. Two under five ta. It's why I know it's bu to shout at the top of your lungs to your kids when standing next to anyone as it frightens the bloody life out of them. Next to a pram? That's just plain rude. Especially without then saying oops sorry which you don't mention, so assume you didn't.

There really is no excuse apart from laziness. I break out of the lazy amble to get mine, stop chattering to my mate, gosh even break a sweat sometimes to keep them in line. I do try not to scream from a hundred yards away mainly because they don't listen do they? (And I can call horses from a field I have a yell it really is hard to ignore)

If your children don't have reliable recall then they should be leashed.

:-p

I do try not to scream from a hundred yards

Gosh! Would you really allow your three year old to be 100 yards away from you near a pond before you call them back. No wonder you have to break into a sweat.

I would imagine that the OP's child was much closer and she didn't have to scream like a banshee to get their attention.

What would you lot do if you had three under five?

I have memories of desperate bf newborn DD3 while the two year old scaled impossible heights on the climbing frame and the four year year old hung upside down by her knees six feet above the ground. I did raise my voice occasionally. babies (including my own) will have been woken.

It's a bloody park. Of course children should run around screaming. Of course parents should be legging it after them. It's called a sodding childhood.

I know...I can kind of see that coming Near.
TBH they're pretty good now. I now no longer have to be involved when anyone other than DH goes for a wee. They sleep all night. They can mostly tell me what's wrong instead of just yelling. They usually get on, do as they're told and behave well. So maybe I should just count my blessings and not await the day when I can complete a whole thought in my head in one go

Oh and getting them in and out of the car is no longer an operation involving a headlock to prevent one getting squashed flat while I carefully lift the other one out.
Now I pull up in the drive and go to open up the house while they get themselves sorted and out - the novelty has still not worn off for me!

Stealth - wait until your eldest picks you up from a boozy night out with your mates - in the car .

When my ds was a baby he was very very colicky and I was so so tired. We were looking after a friend's dog for the weekend. All the floors were tiled [we lived in Africa then] and its bloody claws went clack clack clack all the time...I but baby socks on its paws and fastened them with duct tape! The dog didn't seem to mind at all but I was so proud of myself for eliminating a source of noise. Ds still screamed though.