To think this lady should not have shushed us

[Chrysanthemumtea]

In park today with a friend an our three year olds. Walking round the partially fenced pond. Three year olds running too far ahead just as we walk past woman on bench holding a baby.

"Oi, biff and boff [for that is what we have called our children], come back, too far" we shouted, so they could hear us.

Baby holding woman gave us stern look and shushed us.

Now I get that she may be the exhausted mum of a non sleeping young baby and may have just got her baby to sleep after hours of rocking and shushing. I genuinely do remember the sheer desperation and how difficult it all is when you are tired and when you are desperate for your tired baby to get some rest as well as for you to.

But it was a public park. And we really didn't want out kids to run our of sight (round corner of pond) and fall in.

Aibu to think even the exhausted mum of a sleeping baby should recognise not letting your kid drown is a reasonable reason to shout at them in park even if there is a sleeping baby nearby?

Ps if you are that mum it does get better I promise. You will probably be telling stories one day about how you were so tired you one told two women in a park not to shout at their kids for running away.

Oh dear, poor woman! YANBU, but you can see why she might have done it.

Yes pip quite.
What other things are considered unladylike?
Drinking pints

YABVVU

The op does sound understanding to me.

However the mother was still unreasonable, even though lack of sleep is shite

Aah but when your toddlers are great big huge teenagers who make you tea and stay out all night, the wailing of a baby and the incessant yipping of toddlers combined with loud parenting is beyond what humans can endure. Is true so you were all being unreasonable because some of us have moved on to quiet, civilised worlds and have had our fill of kinder cacophony.

Removes tongue from cheek

I was at a museum last summer wth my preschool dc. We were earing lunch in the lunch room which was an empty, MASSIVE space (think 100 people for a reception easily). We were the only ones there & my dc were enjoying running around the empty space when a grandfather comes in with a 3 month sleeping baby & sits at the table next to us. I was a bit surprised as it was empty & he could have sat anywhere. He then told my kids to be quiet & to stop playing & then he told me to control my dc when sleeping babies were about!

I very politely told him to sit at the other end of the planet room with his precious bundle grandchild as it was quiet & empty. With a big emphasis on empty y& he was genuinly surprised by my response so left in a huff!

I probably wouldn't have shouted right next to a buggy or someone holding a small baby tbh. Unless it was a real emergency like running near a road.

She may have been shushing her baby back to sleep if the baby was showing signs of waking thanks to your shouting. If DS is asleep on a plane and noisy people threaten to wake him, I usually do a preemptive 'shush' to soothe him back down. It's not necessarily directed at them but more to keep DS sleeping.

I probably would have run (faster) to get closer to them and shouted if necessary once past a sleeping baby.

Ah bless her hope she got some rest. Ds didn't sleep for over 2 years

Bu. Totally bu. You I mean.

Why do those with older kids assume a baby can sleep through anything? Christ it's an arrogant attitude. "It's just a baby" well your kids are just kids. You can't see them run then you lazy woman. Or I don't know manage them before hand eh? But no apparently it's fine to get right next to the poor new mum whose quietly minding her own business and yell at the top of your lungs to your feral offspring. Oi numpty and dumpty COME BAAAAACK!!!!

Bloody lucky really she didn't leap past the pram and scratch your eyes out. Shushing was the very least of your worries....

Minnie do you have a baby by any tiny chance?

What odd behaviour

Minnie, yes because everyone who has had toddlers knows they allways wonder weather the fun activity they are doing is considerate. Do you have kids by any chance?

YANBU either for shouting or for letting the children run on a bit in a park. They are 3 and in a park - they should be allowed to run and have a little freedom, not be glued to your side, walking sedately! I think it's also clear that you empathise with new mum and recognise why she might have been a tad unreasonable.

Ah Minnie, did you have a bad nights sleep dear?

Our new next door neighbours decided to renovate the entire house just after DD was born. They would start at 6am and finish 9 or 10pm some nights.

It finally came to a head when they started replacing the window in the bedroom next to where I had just settled DD off to sleep.

I can't actually recall the words I used in the screaming tirade I shrieked up at the workman - I'm not sure they were even coherent. Ladylike, they certainly were not

I think a hard stare would have sufficed.

Shushing someone makes you look a bit silly. But I expect she was desperate

YWNBU to shout in a park

Lol Minnie, you do realise that most of us with older kids had babies too! We never tiptoed round ours, and as a result they sleep through anything.

My younger two sleep through severely autistic ds1 screaming the house down outside their bedroom at 3am. Anyone is welcome to borrow him around the time of the full moon - he makes your kids sleep bomb proof.

Incidentally I have missed out in 14 years of sleep (see ds1 above) and manage to remain polite to people behaving normally in public spaces so YANBU.

I think it's the stern look that would have bugged me! A look of desperation, fine, but a telling off sort of look and shhh would have pissed me right off. I say that as a new mum! Yanbu.

Yanbu. I put a bottle in the bin in a shopping centre when a mum was bottle feeding a baby on a nearby bench and dad was watching. The bottle made a noise as the bin was metal and the dad swore at me .

I would have been fine but I was four months pg with DC2 so I walked away then cried my eyes out.

I think some people believe the world revolves round them when they have a pfb newborn, but then sleep deprivation is exhausting, especially the first time, and you can't always stay rational.

Since you obviously understand and empathise I think you are BU to give it a second thought. Smile and move on.

Oh, and maybe let the little ones run free where there is no pond?

There are some really funny stories here.

You do tend to forget as your DC get older, the utter relentless grind and slog, of having a new baby. Especially pfb when it's all so horrifyingly new and scary and exhausting.

Lol at the silly posters berating the OP for not keeping her 3 year old attached to her side in a public park, the very place where it is absolutely fine to run around and let off steam

Were you shouting like a fishwife or was it a delicate shout?