To be slightly annoyed at HV or DD.

[TwittyMcTwitterson]

Had my DDs 2.5 yr check up today. I'm certain (as is childminder) that her speech and understanding is good. Better than my friends kids and I mean that in a totally unbiased way, I promise and better than 'the books' say she should be. 2 childminders have assessed her at better than her age.

As soon as she walks in to HV room, she gets hugely excited about the toys and exciting items and says 'mummy, lots of either babbles or slurred words' and instantly HV says 'her speech is very delayed isn't it' so I use the animal books to tease words out of her and she basically speaks like a twat the whole time we are in there. The HV is a little concerned and will be in touch in three months to see how she is doing.

Before we went in I said.'youve got chocolate milk all over your face' to which she said, clear as day 'no mummy, I not got choc-late milk all over my face, I got choc-lote milk all over my mouff' I was pleased as punch. HV looked like she didn't believe me. I tried everything to get her to speak properly but as soon as we walked out and I put her coat on she said 'here mummy, hold my milk'

AIBU to think kids do it on purpose?

AIBU to think HV should believe me and not say DD is behind and delayed?

I think I am BU regarding HV as that's her job but it hurt

I'm not offended by the word twat. I use it with friends. I do not, however, use it to describe children or children's behaviour. I would never think to use it to describe my ds.

Those who don't find it offensive, do you call your friends children little twats when they're being silly? No, didn't think so.

I get that in other regions its used differently but still don't think anyone should use it to describe their children. That's my opinion.

Twats

I was in danger of failing DS1's 2yr check. The line drawings of the animals were so bad, it was entirely understandable that he got horse and cow mixed up.

My DB failed his 9m check after staring the HV in the face and saying "no" with its full meaning when asked to pick up blocks.

DW was asked "does she speak in sentences yet?" whereupon DD said "You have all hairs in your nose".

Pause.

"Yes, that's certainly a sentence".

"No, hairs, not word you said. Mummy, why lady laughing? Can I bite her?"

I am worried about DS2's speech, so following with interest.. He mostly
says "More". That's about it.

That's the best one yet Disgrace!

DS1 spoke in sentences at 18 mths though and is barely average in terms of ability at thirteen years, so....

Caff, no way is DS1 average??? I remember him reading novels about 4-5 years ago. I was very impressed.

DW was asked "does she speak in sentences yet?" whereupon DD said "You have all hairs in your nose".

Pause.

"Yes, that's certainly a sentence".

"No, hairs, not word you said. Mummy, why lady laughing? Can I bite her?"

My DM ended up having to take DB to speech therapy as the hv and gp would not believe he was talking normally at home. This is pre mobiles and recording equipment, obv...

As they waited outside to begin session 3 (he'd remained mute for the first two) DM cajoled him and begged him to say something. Apparently, he sighed, then burst into the room (where the SALT was finishing up with the previous child) and shouted all of Baa Baa black sheep in a grumpy voice, ending with And NOW can I go home and never come back? He was 2.5.

Never had a health visitor, when my daughter was able to count to nine, we went to visit her gran. "Count to nine" "one, two, nine" repeatedly. Left her gran's house and she remembered how to count to nine. My grandchild seems to be heading the same way.

These are hilarious! DD is reasonably good now for family etc but when she first started talking she never ever ever did it on cue.

I was there in ta daaa pose asking 'what noise does the lion make' etc etc and she'd pull her best blank/confused/wtf are you doing mummy face!

Am loving these. DS2 is similarly uncooperative. Lovely hv's have all been concerned about a speech delay, particularly as DS1who has asd did have a slight speech delay. DS2 has been checked twice since his 2 year check. He'll be 3 next month. Last appointment a few weeks ago he completely refused to open his mouth despite lovely lovely woman showing great interest in his fireman sam tshirt and doing her utmost to engage him. She said they would see him again in 6 months until she tried again with the pictures and he very clearly said. "NO I don't want to do that. I want you to go home now!" She laughed her head off and said actually I think he's fine, give me a shout if you have any concerns.

Does this top you all?
I had to take my DS to see a speech therapist as he was developing a stutter. It had taken months to get the appointment. He talked to her throughout the appointment without one stutter, even read to her quite a hard book. No stutter. She really pushed him to try to get it to happen so she could be sure it was not a real problem. At the end having not seen any sign, she sent us away with a bit of advice and a contact if I got concerned again.

The minute we got outside he stuttered "Wwwhat are wwwe gggoing to do nnnow."

DD also greeted the HV fluently for her 2 year check with whole sentences. She was fine until the HV wanted to measure her height and weigh her, which she refused. Fortunately HV had a lot of experience and just sighed, then asked if I had any concerns.