To be slightly annoyed at HV or DD.

[TwittyMcTwitterson]

Had my DDs 2.5 yr check up today. I'm certain (as is childminder) that her speech and understanding is good. Better than my friends kids and I mean that in a totally unbiased way, I promise and better than 'the books' say she should be. 2 childminders have assessed her at better than her age.

As soon as she walks in to HV room, she gets hugely excited about the toys and exciting items and says 'mummy, lots of either babbles or slurred words' and instantly HV says 'her speech is very delayed isn't it' so I use the animal books to tease words out of her and she basically speaks like a twat the whole time we are in there. The HV is a little concerned and will be in touch in three months to see how she is doing.

Before we went in I said.'youve got chocolate milk all over your face' to which she said, clear as day 'no mummy, I not got choc-late milk all over my face, I got choc-lote milk all over my mouff' I was pleased as punch. HV looked like she didn't believe me. I tried everything to get her to speak properly but as soon as we walked out and I put her coat on she said 'here mummy, hold my milk'

AIBU to think kids do it on purpose?

AIBU to think HV should believe me and not say DD is behind and delayed?

I think I am BU regarding HV as that's her job but it hurt

Thank you firefly! You're spot on!

I also said like, not that she is! If someone said it nastily about her I'd go mad obviously.

HV is BVU to declare a child's speech "very delayed" on the basis of 30 seconds of oddity. Even if it was true and based on a proper observation, what sort of a way is that to break it to the parents?

I'd expect them to first ask the parents how they felt the child's speech was, then the parents have the opportunity to say "she's not normally like this", or "we're really worried", or "I don't know, is this normal", and the HV can pitch their response accordingly. Using tact. Surely that would be more professional?

Ds2.2 years has speech delay, but is so different to dd, sociable, calm, easy going, does babble and does try to talk. He can say some words. Would he perform for the speech therapist, no, just wanted to do his own thing and not listen to her. He had been up since 5.30 tgat morning so I think he was tired. I thought back to what dd paed had said, he is only just 2 and a lot of development still has to happen. So I'm not tgat worried. He just started nursery fir a few mornings a week, they are happy with him, he seems to enjoy the sessions and has really come on with confidence.

No op dd age 7 , no 2 is enough fir me

I say "running round in circles blithering" when DD does that. Any help?

I remember ds speaking in sentences very clearly, at all times, at about 18 to 20 months and consistently from then on... So I think it's fine for the HV to keep an eye... Not saying she is delayed but she could be borderline and need review in three months, which is in your dds interests

Aero, my DD came on thick and fast. I was worried just before 2 but not now. Well until today so I'd agree no worries for you too

DS2's check was last week, he scored 9 for hyperactivity and 5 for behaviour, he did however rhyme all 50 words on the sheet off (thank god for small blessings). We are being recalled and sent to a PPP group to try and sort his hyperness and tantrums... :(

Not all children are the same, not all adult are, they are not robots. Like dd paed has said, a lot of development tajes place between 3-5 years

Yes, I'm more than happy for the review. Anything to be certain and obv to catch ASAP if there is an issue. I went in so certain dd was doing perfectly. I think that's why I'm offended.

I certainly agree she's very experienced and picks these things up better than a parent. I am possibly just disappointed and nervous.

YANBU
DD1 got refered to the speach therapist, only to be instantly discharged when the appointment finally came through.

Why, because she didn't bother babbling and saying odd words, she waited until she could use lots of words and the odd full sentence.

Schro, is that 2.5 check? I did none of that?

That's good to hear eves, we are being referred to SALT clinics for a more thorough speech assessment. He us generally a happy little boy, and Gus doo doo doos are so cute. He tries to pronounce words, he gas said a few sentences from time to time. He will get there I am sure

Yabu to think the hv should 'believe you'. Plenty of people think their little darlings are perfect/advanced etc when it's clearly not the case.

If hv's had to take every parent at their word there's probably be lots of 'gifted' children out there.

SPEAKS LIKE A TWAT?!!

Eveesmummy, I do remember a thread a while ago about the word 'twat', and it emerged there are massive differences depending on where you live as to how 'bad' a word it is. To some it pretty much means twit whereas to others it's a horrible swear word.

Just to warn you to expect some more enraged comments

I also think the 'speaks like a twat' comment is very out of order.

My ds1 was severely speech delayed...I can't say I would have described him as 'speaking like a twat'. What a horrible thing to say about a young child.

Yes, but I am in Scotland, maybe it's different here?

"Speaks like twat"

I get what you meant OP.

Honestly don't worry - children do these things!

My sister's ds was referred to a pead after his 2.5yr check as the hv was utterly convinced he was stone deaf because he didn't respond to her at all

Off they went to the pead (with my sister knowing full well her ds could hear perfectly) only for him to chat away happily to the doctor and respond to all of the noises without a problem!!

Pead declared to my sister that her son had perfect hearing!

Must be very different in Scotland. I'd be interested in seeing the forms/questionnaire. I'll google it. We have 'ages and stages questionnaire' if you're interested.

Yes I remember that thread. To me it's twit. I understand others think it's a very bad word so watch for how it's said to me I clearly wouldn't use it around DD or let her say the word but it's not as offensive, to me, as others believe. Would edit OP if I could.

Twat is the only word my mum tells me off for saying. I could call someone a 'fucking cunt' and no worries. Call them a twat though and woe betide me!

I get what you are saying.

Currently, my dd meows beautifully. With tone and intonation. She actually cries "meow, meow, meow". Ask her in front of someone "what do pussies say?" And she goes mute.

Simular thing happened to ds at 2 yr check.. he called a dog a 'doggie' the hv tutted, shook her head and said that he had very babyish language and if this hadn't matured in 3 months he would be referred to a speech therapist.

Did your cm give you a copy of your child's two year check? This piece of paperwork was introduced with the new eyfs in 2012 to stop this kind of thing happening. The hv should be able to look at the report see that a childcare professional has assessed the child's speech and that should help her make judgment on if your child needs referring or not. Childminders and nurseries must produce this document by law for each child age 2 in their setting. They do have till third birthday to complete it, but the idea was to have it at the 2 year check for situations like this.

At her 2.5 yr check, My DD decided to do her trick of climbing over my shoulder and sliding down my back. Except she dived over my shoulder and smacked her head on the concrete floor in a manner that made it look like I dropped her head first. The nursery nurse doing the check was lovely about it. I think they paid more attention to the check completed by DD's nursery than the 15 min appointment.

Is ours the only area where they use a nursery nurse rather than a HV for routine checks?