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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About getting DC to school

103 replies

Gerrygiraffe · 20/03/2014 09:51

We moved house last year and as a result we are almost two miles from school. There is a school closer to home but it is AWFUL so we decided to keep DS1 in his school.

I don't drive so we walk everyday. DD started in pre school this year. Both DC seem to pick up every bug going.

A few times recently, when DS has been ill I haven't bothered taking DD to pre school as it is a long way for DS to walk if he is poorly. It is a bit easier to take DS when DD is ill as she can go in the pram.

I also admit that if they are under the weather due to the walk I have a few times reported them as sick whereas if we lived next door they would probably have made it to school.

DH says I should try and get the DC to school wherever possible but AIBU to think we are OK to do what I do? They don't miss much school and are doing really well.

If we moved them to the local school their education would be shocking and they love their current school.

What do others do with a long walk?

OP posts:
MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/03/2014 13:25

So did you not give any consideration to this when moving?

ContentedSidewinder · 20/03/2014 13:26

Mary just said it better than me Grin

SapphireMoon · 20/03/2014 13:28

Ok, have you 2 children at the school at the moment?
Are you sure you have made the right school choice?
If you have, maybe not do pre school if too much walking a problem. Pre school not compulsory. You could do that at nearer school [!!], or nearer nursery provision if there is one.

MavisG · 20/03/2014 13:29

Gosh, 16 miles a day atm? No wonder you're tired. I'd be skipping preschool at the slightest excuse tbh, but getting a bike (trailers are the cheapest option; the bucket at the front ones are several hundred quid) if dh can't find a way of getting to work without the car.
I hope you're eating enough protein and iron op, you are working very hard not that long after having a baby. Look after yourself.

Dahlen · 20/03/2014 13:30

Unfortunately, if you can't afford taxis for the odd occasion it's necessary, or if you're not prepared to do all that walking, your only other option is to move closer to the school or switch schools.

What does your DH suggest you do? Only I think 16 miles of walking a day is excessive. So it's very easy for your DH/us to say "you should always take the DC to school unless they are half-dead" but we're not the ones doing that walk with a child who may not be unwell enough to stay off school but is certainly going to feel the strain of walking to school if under the weather. It's unfair on the child and certainly unfair on you.

A possible solution in terms of schooling is to find someone who is around in the daytime who could watch the unwell child while you take the other to school, but this doesn't deal with the crux of the problem, which is that you live too far away from this school without enough resources/support to make it work.

SapphireMoon · 20/03/2014 13:31

Gosh didn't know bucket bikes so expensive. I'm a walker.
Bloody hell!

SapphireMoon · 20/03/2014 13:33

Def change pre school unless real problem to.
I would waste away with that much walking!
Hope you have at least visited the local school you have dismissed as rubbish...

Martorana · 20/03/2014 13:34

It's not a tenable position. Your child will never be able to go to friend's houses or have a friend for tea. What about evening performances, matches and parent's evenings?

Have another look at the local school.

Sirzy · 20/03/2014 13:35

Your school age child should be in every day unless he is ill. Same for your Dd when she starts school properly.

manicinsomniac · 20/03/2014 13:40

How is it 8 times? Surely it's 6 - there and back in the morning, there and back for pre school pick up and there and back for school pick up?

I think, at the moment, YANBU, pre school is no big deal. But you do need a solution for September. Buggy board sounds like the best option so far.

Floggingmolly · 20/03/2014 13:42

It can't be 16 miles per day? Confused.
When all is said and done, op, having your kids in a good school when you can only physically get them there when all their siblings are feeling well and the wind is blowing in the right direction, will impact on their education every bit as much as being in a less well regarded school that they can attend every day.
That's too high a price for the "best" school.

MaryWestmacott · 20/03/2014 13:51

I make it 12 miles a day (to/from school in the morning, to/from preschool at lunchtime, to/from school at the end of the day - 4 miles for the OP each trip).

OP - really talk to your DH about your options, 12/13 years to that walking and having a nightmare when one is sick is a bit shit.

BumpyGrindy · 20/03/2014 13:58

Mary do you drive though?

90sthrowback · 20/03/2014 14:12

Martorana makes a good point about the other school journeys aside from illness.

You do need a better strategy otherwise your DCs are going to miss out by not having playdates / being able to go to school disco etc etc.

I know over-reliance on a car is slated on here, but when you are that distance away from school, you really do need to be able to drive / have access to a car or move.

SaveTheMockingBird · 20/03/2014 14:26

I'd be tempted to move house TBH.

I drop off DS at school half a mile away and take DD to nursery 2 miles away, by bike plus bike seat. Then to the reverse on pick up. I think a bike plus trailer could be the best option for you. Our trailer cost about 60 and you might be able to pick up a cheapish bike too.

whois · 20/03/2014 14:36

In your situation I would def invest in a bucket bike (I think they are safer than the trailers). 12 miles a day is a lot of walking, but not a big chore on the bike. Easier for the kids too when they are feeling sub par.

Or just sort it out and learn to drive. Do you own your house? If so I'd release some equity and buy a car and learn to drive.

If you rent, I'd move closer to school since this will be am ongoing problem.

NoodleOodle · 20/03/2014 14:41

Agree with whois

schokolade · 20/03/2014 14:51

well what does your DH suggest as a solution OP?

MaryWestmacott · 20/03/2014 19:05

Bumpy, sorry, I meant "I make it that that op does 12 miles a day" (comments above we're being confusing about the total distance she needs to walk daily).

A lot of these ideas involving house moves far away from schools and public transport seem fine until you are faced with actually doing them, and what is just about manageable when everything is going well, is a bloody nightmare when things go a bit wrong, and with 3dcs, things will go a bit wrong regularly.

Dc1 is starting school in September and people are shocked I've put the outstanding faith school that's linked to our church as our 3rd choice, not first, but it is nearly 2miles, and I font consider that to be reasonable walking distance every day, although I am lucky the closer schools are both good, if not, I would be assuming I'd have to drive most days to the faith school.

Original poster
Gerrygiraffe · 20/03/2014 19:26

Sorry for mileage mix up- distracted by DC3.

I was the driving force behind the move as I hated the old house. This new one was the best we could get for our money as we really need the extra space. Not really feasible to move again.

I said the walk would be OK when we decided on the house. DH does help where he can but only has so much flexibility in work.

I think bikes can be an option. We cross a massive road and go along a busy road but can walk that bit.

I think the reality if dealing with it every morning is hard and "encouraging" already whingy DC is not great when you know they have to do a full day and then get home again.

OP posts:
hippoinamudhole · 20/03/2014 19:43

The government will provide free transport if your nearest school is over 2 miles away (3 for over 8's) so presumably your walk is thought to be fine.

ProudAS · 21/03/2014 06:45

The OP won't qualify for free transport as there is a nearer school. The exception would be if it was full up for the year group but as it's not a popular school I doubt whether that's the case.

MaryWestmacott · 21/03/2014 06:54

Look into bikes, but don't dismiss moving or getting a second car, 12 years is a long time to be suffering because you thought something would be less of a problem than it is.

brettgirl2 · 21/03/2014 07:34

You still haven't said what is wrong with the local school? What is awful? Are all the 4yos sniffing glue? Is it in Special Measures? Is it just historical local prejudice?

Any primary school can run into problems, or improve in a couple of years. DD's lovely school in in SM and the locals labelling it as 'awful' would make me v angry and not help the situation at all.

NearTheWindymill · 21/03/2014 07:50

So you did the move with your eyes open and are now regretting it. You can't move house and you won't move schools. The alternative then OP is that you have to learn to drive and fund a car but you have no money. So, can you get a Saturday job or an evening job to fund that when your DH is home to look after the dc? Tough in the short term but will be better in the longer term.

Also, can't you have a word with the school office and see if they can put you in touch with a mum local to you so you can help each other out in similar circumstances.

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