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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About getting DC to school

103 replies

Gerrygiraffe · 20/03/2014 09:51

We moved house last year and as a result we are almost two miles from school. There is a school closer to home but it is AWFUL so we decided to keep DS1 in his school.

I don't drive so we walk everyday. DD started in pre school this year. Both DC seem to pick up every bug going.

A few times recently, when DS has been ill I haven't bothered taking DD to pre school as it is a long way for DS to walk if he is poorly. It is a bit easier to take DS when DD is ill as she can go in the pram.

I also admit that if they are under the weather due to the walk I have a few times reported them as sick whereas if we lived next door they would probably have made it to school.

DH says I should try and get the DC to school wherever possible but AIBU to think we are OK to do what I do? They don't miss much school and are doing really well.

If we moved them to the local school their education would be shocking and they love their current school.

What do others do with a long walk?

OP posts:
WaitMonkey · 20/03/2014 10:52

How old are they ? Are they missing pre school or primary school ?

ProudAS · 20/03/2014 10:52

Or how about arranging for a friend to take DC to school? If your DH can drop off and pick up on his way to and from work it won't matter if the friend lives a couple of miles away.

WaitMonkey · 20/03/2014 10:54

What I mean is, it's not in my opinion much of a problem with the youngest missing pre school, but the oldest can't miss primary school, unless they are actually ill.

tiggytape · 20/03/2014 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrankUnderwood · 20/03/2014 11:17

Bikes? Scooters?

Jinty64 · 20/03/2014 11:21

I would not be keen to walk my dc's two miles to school in all weathers every morning. I wouldn't be so bothered about walking home where they can then chill out. I wouldn't be keen on cycling with 3 young children at that time in the morning either. However you do need to get them to school every day and, with a 10 month old, you have a lot of years to do it.

Does the school have a breakfast club? Could dh drop them there on his way to work and they would only have one journey to do each day or a childminder close to the school. You could phone round the local taxis you might get a deal for five mornings a week and cheaper than running another car. Otherwise I think you should move them to the closer school. They would be home earlier and you would have more time to supplement their education if necessary.

BarbarianMum · 20/03/2014 11:22

Put the ill child on a bike?? Really?

Ds2 threw up 3 times this morning. I don't think that's really compatible with cycling.

Floggingmolly · 20/03/2014 11:29

Of course you're being ridiculously unreasonable. Besides, the pre schooler will be in real school in September; what'll you do then?
If you're that determined that your children should not go to the more accessible school, you have to deal with the inconvenience of getting them to the school of your choice, full stop.

ikeaismylocal · 20/03/2014 11:30

I don't think you are unreasonable to keep them off if they are a bit under the weather, I'd keep my child off if they were not 100% even if we lived next door to the school.

I think yabu to keep them off if the other is ill, just get a taxi if the ill child is too poorly to walk.

SapphireMoon · 20/03/2014 11:31

Chucking up a different ball game Barbarian.
Difficult with car and walking too!

DrOwh · 20/03/2014 11:42

Just change schools.

redskyatnight · 20/03/2014 12:08

You do need a plan for one child being ill as it's often not feasible to drag an ill child out (even if you live next door to the school).

For the odd time eventualities, would one of your child's friend's parents be able to help out?

thereisnoeleventeen · 20/03/2014 12:10

How shocking is the local school and how long has it been shocking for?

Two schools in my area were put on special measures and had money and resources poured in, one now has a waiting list to get in and the other actually had kids moving to it from from the other school in the area that used to be considered the better one of the two.

IMO you can't right a school off until you've looked round it.

Your DC3 will not be 'portable' for ever and at some point you are going to be chasing 3 round in the morning trying to get them out of the door.

When DC1 was at pre school I was quite unwell and I used to give up and let her not go in at the slightest thing, it's taught her a bad lesson tbh and I still pay for it now...she has this assumption that if she doesn't feel like it then she won't have to go (which she of course she does, it sets them up for work and other stuff in life, they need to learn to keep going even when it's tough).

I'd say have a look round the one that you can reasonably walk to and have an open mind, what are their results like and do the staff/head/teachers care about the kids?

Original poster
Gerrygiraffe · 20/03/2014 12:23

The current school is the best in the borough and the "local" one pretty much the worst.

I take on board your comments. They are similar to DHs. It is just hard going with not quite right children and a tired me. I currently do the walk 8 times per day (pre school is hf a day). That will be 4 times in September until DC3 goes to pre school.

Taxis could be an option but we are broke. Guess we will have to man/woman up really .

OP posts:
007licencetospill · 20/03/2014 12:29

I think it's totally fine for Your child not to go to preschool. The child has no legal obligation to attend, its not like school. . It's great you can get DS to school and DD can go in the buggy if ill. If they are totally run down/unable to cope with exhaustion and have good attendance records, it's fine not to take them in.

bragmatic · 20/03/2014 12:31

Play music on your iPhone if you have one. You'd be surprised how it gets them going.

SapphireMoon · 20/03/2014 12:34

What do you mean the worst op?
Don't be fooled by bottom line SATs results or the data dashboard. They are a blunt instrument. You need to look at pupil starting points and progress made. If children start for example in year 5 with no English they will still count in SATs and will bring down bottom line. Does not mean school is a bad one. Conversely, you may have parents who use private tutoring and give false positive image in SATs results. Be careful before you write off a school. Look more deeply....

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 20/03/2014 12:36

There is a child in DD1's class who does not have great attendance record. Her class mates noticed fairly early on, and it gets discussed between them.

Children can be cruel, don't do anything unnecessary to make them stand out in a bad way.

90sthrowback · 20/03/2014 12:37

Fine to miss pre-school, but not fine to miss school.

If you can't afford to get them there by taxi when one of the others is unwell, then you really should move schools - it will only get worse with 3 of them sharing the bugs around.

Oldraver · 20/03/2014 12:59

Seriously you need to just get on with it. This is all part and parcel of the decisions YOU have made with your life. YOU chose to have three children fairly close together YOU have chosen to stick with a school further away, you cant just say "oh well things are hard"...get on with it woman

drspouse · 20/03/2014 13:11

If one child is off sick, then getting the other one to and fro on those days will only be one way each day. That sounds like maybe a taxi in the morning and persuade them they feel better after a nap in the afternoon, so can walk?

It doesn't sound like this is an issue when DD is sick, only when DS is sick, and it's less of a problem to miss preschool, so perhaps compromise that you'll get a taxi when DS is sick, and possibly back again if he's really bad, and you'll be OK with DD missing up to 1 day of preschool each week but no more, but you'll always take the buggy when DD is sick?

When DD is too big for the buggy you will really need to get a taxi when she's sick, though.

Supercosy · 20/03/2014 13:21

Wow, you really do that walk 8 times a day?!!! That is alot of walking and I am a very keen walker and walked alot as a child. My Dd is going to be going to a high school about 2 miles from our house but if I had to walk her there every day I would think again!

Any chance you could get a bike so at least you could bike when not with the kids? I really wouldn't sweat about your Dd missing pre school, that's not a big deal imho but for the older child...if they are ill they shouldn't be in school but if they are just a little off colour but the walk is putting you off and that happens regularly I think you need to find a different solution.

MaryWestmacott · 20/03/2014 13:23

Realistically, is this house move and school the best for your family? Because it seems like you've agreed to something the creates a lot of work for you, not your DH, yet he's telling you that you need to do better when faced with the problems this housemove has caused.

Moving closer to the school might be the best option long term, if your DC3 is still not at preschool, you've got a long time of having to walk to that school and this is a 12-13 year problem, not a temporary problem. This is a very long time to be in the wrong house for a non-driving SAHM.

something needs to give here, it's going to be you not driving/having access to a car, or the choice of school, or the house, but your DCs school attendance can't be the thing that 'gives'.

ContentedSidewinder · 20/03/2014 13:25

Does your Dh need the car? Could he travel to and from work on public transport either all the time or just when the children are poorly?

Clearly this would meant that you would have to learn to drive.

We moved 3 mile from the primary school my children attended but I drive and we have 2 cars. Because of our location there is literally no-one going to that school, so Dh works from home (if one child is vomiting) and I take the other one in, or if one is just poorly, I drive them both in and ask a friend in the playground to see the well child in for me.

Because you don't drive it also means that any after school clubs or children coming for a playdate are more difficult.

SapphireMoon · 20/03/2014 13:25

Maths not my strong point, but surely walk 6 times a day!