To worry about inbreeding?

[DancesinPuddles]

So, my SIL and her wife have a lovely daughter. She was conceived using sperm they obtained from an enterprising young man on the internet who is paying his way through university by selling his 'product'. Not the way I would go about it but hey ho, each to their own.
However, during a recent conversation I discovered that he has now fathered at least 23 children. AIBU to find this a bit worrying? No one else in my family seems to think so. I did raise the question of how they would ensure the siblings didn't meet and breed - apparently they are all going to have a list of their half siblings to refer to. Am I crazy? I feel like I've entered a parallel universe during these conversations!

Hmmm.

I'd be more inclined to be fearful that they'd catch something nasty from the enterprising young man...I assume he's not just sitting by a laptop and there was some sort of health check before they waltzed off with a baster of product?

We do live in a fairly big country,I would think it was low risk

I think there is a database or something that the children can access to help avoid problems of that sort

We have two children conceived through donation, via an official clinic etc. It is illegal to do what this man has done/is doing.

I can see your point op .. Particularly if these donations are occurring in a fairly local area... Not at all inconceivable that these half siblings could meet at a future date.
My friend had an older sibling who was adopted & was kept secret for nearly 30 years .. Unbeknown to each other they had frequented the same bars, clubs, roller disco as teenagers & could have easily got together.

I would worry about it - not in a lie awake at night way, but I'd be concerned. Lots of people experience genetic sexual attraction when they meet half siblings as an adult and given that all these children have probably been conceived within a few years in an area local to the donor and they all have a list of each other so can get in touch through social media etc then there is a good chance that at least some of them will meet as adults.

Here have a FFS!!!

My DD1 doesn't know her father, she now works and lives in his hometown - i daresay there are siblings - do i worry about her meeting and making babies with her brother? errr, no!

So in answer to your question, yes, you are crazy!

I knew a couple who later found out they were half siblings the fall out was huge. They stayed together and lost a lot of friends and family. YANBU

It is illegal to do what this man has done/is doing.

Depends how the impregnating is done - absolutely nothing to stop one man impregnating 23 women by the traditional methods.

a donor’s sperm may be used to create up to ten families excluding their own. Your children may share a partial genetic link with children in up to ten other families

So no pun, conceivably, he may have only impregnated 9 women

You think 23 children is a lot - you should read about this chap then! Just saw this article today...

BBC link - Report about Belgian man with 98 children

The Belgian guy does seem to be taking 'precautions' to prevent inbreeding in keeping his own database...

I thought it was illegal and all had to go through registered clinics etc?

YABU to use the word breed - horrid.
YAalsoBU to think these are issues that apply simply because the insemination is artificial. Seems like with their list, they are forewarned and forearmed!

There's nothing to stop a mate donating.

Very stupid to buy directly from donor. My sister and her partner are having a baby but all done legally through a clinic, each donor is allowed to give to 10 families but as they imported it from the USA this isn't a worry for them. However the issues with buying direct are:

A) screening for diseases (Hiv) or genetic illness
B) he might try and claim paternity and access rights
C) they could claim maintenance

link

Link to article about a student meeting her sister at university - both with lesbian mothers....

YABU. My sister's two children (twins) are as a result of sperm donation, and she says she's been told they should be tested/checked if they want to have children with their partner to ensure that they aren't related or conceived by the same father or were otherwise related.

Gert what you have copied and pasted appears to be from the HFEA,. i.e. proper registered clinics. Sounds like this man has been doing this independently.

The chances are remote though, especially if the children are aware and have this 'list'.

In 'official' sperm donation, donor-conceived children's identity is always protected; while they can apply to the HFEA to get a yes/no answer on whether a particular person is genetically related to them if they are forming a relationship, they will never be handed a list of siblings, so argueably could be even greater risk (note that there are no limits on the no. of children that can be conceived in each of the 10 families (plus the donor's own) so there could be 20 to 30 or even more half siblings unaware of each other.

YANBU that this is a problematic way to go about obtaining sperm (for the reasons foreveronadiet posted), but YABU on your concern about inbreeding and your assertion that this is a 'parallel universe'.

You cannot sell sperm legally, but can be reimbursed expenses.

I hadn't thought about it how it might be an issue for children conceived via official sperm donors. I guess I assumed there was a system in place to support them.
I don't know how close the other children live - I do know that the dad wants them all to get together at some stage which SIL isn't keen on.
But what's to stop him carrying on ad infinitum?
rootypig the word breed was meant to be light hearted, I did not mean any offence.

He is also potentially liable for child support as the father

I thought the child support was only if child was conceived as a result of actual sex not a donation?

As far as I know, provided the sperm is not frozen, it's legal (how's that for a weird legal loophole?) But, as others have pointed out, legally he could be pursued for maintenance (as happened in one case where a gay couple split and the biological mother then pursued the donor for support). Better (unless you are very good friends with the donor and all parties are convinced that even if circumstances change, no one is going to turn round and claim maintenance/paternity) to go through a registered clinic - that way the sperm is screened for STIs and the resulting child can eventually trace their donor at age 18.

I'm not offended per se, OP, but given the word's historical use inc half breed, and its more common use for animals, in the context of looking at artificial insemination by a gay couple and the prospect of incest as a result, its lightheartedness was definitely entirely lost.

Needsasockamnesty No only donors going through official channels have exemption from the responsibility of supporting their children.

Should this chap be particularly entrepreneurial when he dies these children may, depending on the jurisdiction, have a claim on his estate. In Scotland for example no matter what he puts in his will these children could claim amongst them 1/3 of his moveable estate (meaning any asset which isn't land or buildings)

It is thought that around one third of the population do not have the Fathers that they think they do.

This has been established by studies, medical research and DNA taken in small towns etc after a crime has been committed.

On my DH's side we have had close relatives turn out to be living a few streets away, my DD went to school with her Niece for three years before we realised.

The circumstances of this case is unusual, but people being related and not knowing, isn't anything new.