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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bus passengers

77 replies

Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 17:33

Have nc for this but regular poster. I am completely prepared to be told iabu but genuinely interested on others opinions.

I was born with a physical disability which flares up at times resulting on me needing crutches and being in extreme pain. Currently I am at a point where I can not safely drive. Today I had to take my ds to and from school so the only way to get him there was via two buses.

I collected him from school and we walked to the bus stop opposite. We stood for 45 minutes waiting for the bus (meant to be every 10 minutes) I also had my friends daughter with me age 2 because she was called away on an emergency.

When the bus eventually turned up I was in agony but at least I was on my way home. I knew the bus would be busy because of how long we waited but at this point felt like crying. I paid for my ds and looked for a seat. Not one person would let me sit down so I had to stand on crutches, trying to desperately hold tight to two children whilst various other passengers just stared at me. I understand everybody had had to pay to use the bus and some other passengers may have had hidden disabilities but surely there must have been at least one able bodied passenger who could allow me to sit down. There were various passengers with children and yet not even a child was asked to move over so I could even Pearce on the edge of a seat. I could not physically stand up at the bus stop any longer and was now running late to pick up my dd who finishes school 45 minutes after ds approximately half a mile away.

If you have followed this far aibu to expect somebody to show some consideration?

OP posts:
Katinkia · 19/03/2014 17:53

What a load of bastards.

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 17:55

Sorry people missed the questions about area I am in Portsmouth not London.

OP posts:
HemlockStarglimmer · 19/03/2014 17:56

I have arthritis in both hips and SPD and I've have given you my seat in a heartbeat!

How mind bogglingly selfish is it to make someone on crutches and wrangling a toddler stand on the bus...

SizzlesSit · 19/03/2014 17:57

Yanbu.

I was on a lovely bus the other day in Paris. I got an empty seat (7 months pregnant with spd) but several other passengers all played musical chairs as someone more in need got on at each bus stop. Eg a pregnant woman stood up for an elderly gent, so another person stood up for the pregnant woman. 3 people stood up for the man with crutches who preferred to just lean etc.

All very nice and amicable until some tourists got on and took the priority seats.

SizzlesSit · 19/03/2014 17:58

Unfortunately its not always like this in paris!

Dwerf · 19/03/2014 18:00

What a set of wankers.

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 18:00

Sizzles that sounds lovely. I know everywhere has good and bad but the priority seats on the bus were taken up by people who all chose to ignore me. Children included.

OP posts:
Raxacoricofallapatorius · 19/03/2014 18:02

Good lord, where do you live? Here people would bend over backwards to help.

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 18:10

I live in Portsmouth.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 18:49

Thank you all feeling much better now.

OP posts:
youarewinning · 19/03/2014 20:36

YANBU at all - it would have been obvious to anyone as you struggled into the bus that you a) needed to sit and b) needed a seat at the front.

(Ps I know calamity in RL through MN local and have spoken to her!)

And calamity - I wouldn't call your disability hidden - you can hardly walk even with crutches!

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 20:53

Yak I am feeling much calmer now but maybe the other 40 odd passengers all had hidden disabilities. Ds is upset/angry that his dm was treated like that but has been so caring even telling me not to take him to bed as I need to rest.

OP posts:
Morgause · 19/03/2014 21:01

YANBU. A lot of parents seem to think their children are entitled to take up a seat when adults are standing. Even worse when an adult with a disability is standing and children are sitting down.

BerniceBroadside · 19/03/2014 21:13

I'll hazard a guess that the only condition the majority had was cuntitis.

I'm sorry you didn't get a seat. I'm still spitting about the time I was nine months pregnant and was the only one who would give my seat up to a very elderly man with two walking sticks. I looked like I'd swallowed a beachball so it wasn't as if it wasn't obvious. Some people are arseholes.

FudgefaceMcZ · 19/03/2014 21:18

YANBU. Those people were selfish shits.

Bus driver should also have told someone to shift out of the accessible seating area (if bus had one, which it should do) so you could sit there. Complain to bus company maybe? They can't stop passengers being dickheads but they can make sure drivers know they have a legal (as well as moral) obligation to ensure access for disabled passengers.

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 21:36

I was contemplating the bus company but was not sure whether that was appropriate but as you say it nay raise awareness.

OP posts:
Nennypops · 19/03/2014 21:39

How far away is dc's school? Is it worth contacting the school transport department to see if they can offer help whilst you're so poorly? I assume you qualify as disabled and they have a duty to make reasonable adjustments.

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 21:58

It is almost 2 miles away but I am guessing they would say because he is not in our catchment school they won't help. My dd has autism and so we chose a senior school that had a nurture unit to support her. Ds was having troubles at his school and as we suspect there may be a mild autism when we moved his school at Christmas chose a school with both an autism unit and also a support programme for young carers.

OP posts:
NurseyWursey · 19/03/2014 22:14

I'd contact the bus company, the driver should have helped you!

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 22:19

I think I will contact company especially as this morning after dropping ds at school as I have been housebound for four weeks and did not have any cash on me I waited half an hour to be able to use the disabled persons bus pass I am entitled to as it is not valid until 9:30 and at 09:29:39 the bus appeared and he would not let me on as it was too early so I had to stand there for another fifteen minutes which probably set off the days pain.

OP posts:
NurseyWursey · 19/03/2014 22:24

It's shocking that that the disability bus pass has time limits on it Shock that's actually horrible! We need a petition because I think that's completely and utterly wrong.

And the first driver not letting you on, surely he could have either waited the few seconds or just let you on?

Really makes me sad.

Original poster
Calamityoncrutches · 19/03/2014 22:27

Off to bed now as morphine still not helping but will check back tomorrow but I do wonder why disabled people can't use a bus pass all day as we still have to work, get our children to school and get to the doctors/hospital before 9:30.

OP posts:
NurseyWursey · 19/03/2014 22:28

I'm going to see if there's any petitions open, if not we could perhaps make one! I'm not sure it would do any good but still..

Goodnight Calamity and please keep in touch with how you're doing x

NurseyWursey · 19/03/2014 22:29

here we go

epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/53358

I'm going to make a topic now :)

NurseyWursey · 19/03/2014 22:34

Oh it's closed! :(