To think that White Dee from Benefit St isn't doing people with depression any favours

[Bearbehind]

I've just seen White Dee from Benefits St being interviewed on Sky a News about the budget.

She said she can't work due to her having depression- yet she can appear on TV and is not ruling out standing as a politician

I still can't see how the scrubbing loos thing works. I can imagine the AIBU.

'AIBU' to sack my cleaner because she hasn't turned up. She said she couldn't make it today because she's too 'depressed'. She might make it tomorrow apparently if she feels better but she'll have to see how she is then. This is the 3rd or 4th time she's done this in the last few months.

YANBU I've had depression, and all of my limbs and my head dropped off and I still managed to go to work every day. She's just lazy.

Ooops. Sorry for your loss melika.

That was a very unfortunate cross post. I hope things get better for you soon.

has anyone seen the programme on recently called something like 'rich and hungry' or some such? it had in a posh rich boy from Essex, Theo Phafitis, Boris Johnson's sister and another woman from Eastenders.

they lodged with families on benefits and if you really want to see families struggling watch it.

there was also a single middle aged lady who looked fairly comfortably off but as the programme progressed you saw that she had a soreness sheet and literally every single penny she had was allocated.

it was very moving tv actually.

far more serious and sobering than benefit street.

melika I'm sorry to hear about your mum etc. To be fair I don't think anyone is saying it does excuse them from work. Just that it is distasteful at best to think they are lying.

soreness sheet !! no a spread sheet.

Precisely Rafels a family member of mine (I'm not being too specific for outing them) has Been in their place of work for 10yrs. Had numerous amounts of different time off. Lengthy ones at that. Funnily enough. Her employer is actually trying to get rid of them due to I quote 'unreliability'.

there seems to be a dreadful lack of basic understanding into illness per se here.

depression takes many forms and affects people in various ways and at various times. like cancer, like Parkinson's and MS.

a broken leg is a broken leg. it mends and you get completely better.

they are different.

Winston Churchill suffered bouts of the Black Dog.

I'd have no problems with her becoming an MP, the lazy, feckless, thick ijeets we have in charge right now are more concerned with lining their own pockets than running the country. Someone like this might ask a few sensible questions of our law makers occasionally instead of just towing the global corporate party line. You know ask difficult questions about the useful but non-sexy stuff that might improve the quality of life for all us mere mortals. The only thing that separates her from our leadership is her social class.

Thebody I wondered what a soreness sheet was! .

Fusedog - have you forgotten the uproar when Stephen Fry went missing - if I recall correctly, he missed some scheduled TV work because of his breakdown.

And TV work is episodic - there are periods of work, and periods of no work - and you get to say yes or no to each different bit of work - so if you are sliding back down into the black pit, you can decide you are not up to doing that particular project - you don't get to do that in an ordinary job.

If you saw me at home, you'd probably say some pretty similar (but still, just as ignorant) things about me - I am overweight ('fat arse' - check), I struggle to do much during the day ('sat on fat arse' - check), and my house doesn't get cleaned that often ('should get off fat arse and do cleaning' - check).

What you are completely failing to understand (though heaven knows how, because people have tried to explain it in really clear, simple terms) is that depression robs you of the strength, energy and motivation to get up and do the things that need doing.

Melika - I am sorry about the tragic losses in your life at the moment, and I commend you for carrying on regardless - but I am afraid you have just beautifully illustrated another one of the ignorant myths about depression. The "But worse things have happened to me, and I am not wallowing in depression - I am getting on with life" - the clear implication being that everyone with depression could do the same, if they wanted to - they are just lazy and can't be bothered.

I am not depressed because terrible things have happened to me. I am depressed because of chronic lack of self esteem due to being bullied for 6 solid years, the last year of Primary school and all 5 years at comprehensive (and by the lack of care and support from my parents, especially my mum, when I reached out for help). It stopped when we moved up to Sixth form college, but the damage was done by then.

At 14 years old, I was thinking about committing suicide - that's not normal. Since then, the depression has ebbed and flowed. I managed to get my nursing qualification, and went on later to get a degree. Then I had children, and three consecutive episodes of PND, and that pushed me back down into the black pit, and I have remained in or near it ever since.

My latest plunge to the bottom of the pit has its origins in a nasty cold - I never got over the virus, and that post-viral tiredness and shitness pushed me back down. The news that my beloved MIL's cancer is terminal, there's nothing more they can do apart from palliative care, hasn't helped.

But as you can see, there is no single catastrophic happening in my life, no huge tragedies - just a pretty normal life. From the outside, it looks like a pretty good one too - nursing qualification, degree, good marriage, lovely kids, enough money, nice house - but all of that means absolutely nothing in determining whether I deserve to have depression.

You can get an episode of reactive depression after a tragedy or string of tragedies - some do, some don't - and the ones that don't aren't stronger or better than the ones that do - they simply have a slightly different brain chemistry, and a different reaction.

Some people just get depression - you won't be able to see a single, major tragedy to kick it off (or justify it to cynical onlookers), but their brain chemistry has gone wrong, and the black dog of depression has his claws into them. That can be a life-long illness - with periods of remission and 'normality', and periods where he is so dominant in your life, that just existing is nigh impossible. Sometimes it is impossible to go on, your mind tells you that the world would be better off without you, no-one would miss you, and you act on that (as my cousin did, when she took a header off a cliff). Some people call that selfish, but the disordered thinking that leads to suicide doesn't let you see the effects it will have - the lies in your head tell you that people will be relieved that you've gone.

I've had those thoughts - I am still not convinced the world would miss me. But that doesn't make me a weak person (because I can't just 'get past it' and get on with things, like you have), and it doesn't make me lazy either. It makes me ill. I just wish people understood.

There's a thread - Helpful and unhelpful things to say to someone who is depressed that might help educate a few people.

That was why I said at the present time Rafals.

Good point, bochead - I suppose some here would prefer Winston Churchill had spent the war scrubbing toilets than saving us from Hitler and the Nazis!

You've still completely missed my point. You cannot make any sensible or reliable judgement on how well she is at the even at the present time based on the fact that she is making a TV appearance. You can only make a judgement on how she is at that particular moment. It has no bearing on how she will be in a few hours time or even tomorrow.

Iwas I'm still writing 2012 when I write the date. 2013 seems to have completely missed me. I have no idea how it actually got to be 2014. My head seems to be stuck at the point that I crashed last. I have to keep checking how old I am too on the odd occasion I am asked.

I'm hoping it's going to fix itself eventually.

People with Depression do not 'wallow'.

I think the problem Rafals is that there isn't enough support in the country for people with depression and anxiety disorders. It is easier for her GP to write a medical certificate and prescribe Prozac than it is for him/her to provide support that will address the root causes and provide strategies to support with a return to work.

Ironically it would appear that Dee is more likely to get help from her "agent" than she is from the medical community.

The woman has received a lot of stick, been on countless TV programmes and given lots of newspapers and mag interviews. I think that suggests that at this moment in time she is may be capable of working. I'm not saying that there is the work available or that she will be well enough in 3 months time.

Why are people of working age being written off? If you are out of work due to economical reasons there are programmes available to support you with applying for non-existent jobs. Are people on long term sickness benefits also given support? I'm roughly the same age as Dee and I don't want to be written off as unemployable just yet.

Are they being written off or are some people thinking they are being written off? Being signed off on long term sick doesn't mean you are always going to be signed off. It just means you are signed off for now. And that's the same whether you have depression, cancer or have just had a major operation that will takes weeks of recovery.

There is support out there but it's of no more use than the completely useless support that's available for the long term unemployed. There are also independent specialist charities they may have more success but I'm not sure how much of that is voluntary placements rather than actually managing to get people back into long term work.

But getting the job isn't the issue. I'm holding onto mine by the skin of my teeth, and that's with the support of a MH charity and the union. At some point in the future I will probably use it. I can hopefully hold on to it for now.

The biggest problem is that the workplace isn't set up to deal with MH issues. They are a completely different kettle of fish. There's no straight line of recovery. It's spikey and each hour or day can differ from the last and most sickness absence policies can't deal with that.

Ours tends to favour long periods (read those that are obviously very sick and not skiving) over short individual episodes. So when I'm going through a rough patch and I'm having good days, bad days that I can probably manage to get sorted enough into work, and days that I definitely can't I have to make a decision about how to manage my absence. Just taking the days I can't leads to capability proceedings and tribunals for multiple absences over as short period of time. Taking a full 3 months doesn't. But it does mean I'd be sitting at home on days where I'm not ill and could manage to work easily whilst the work I could be doing isn't getting done. It's completely nonsensical.

You really , really can't tell if someone has depression , I never talk about my battle . To try and explain its impact is hard, depression has stalked much off my adult life, during this time I have had 2 very successful careers, and reared 2 kids alone, whilst battling this horrible horrible life-sucking illness .

I have often been unwell ,I have relied on various tactics to get me through the day, I am worse in the mornings ,get better as day goes on. Months have gone by on autopilot, I can only cope by pretending , it is more exhausting than you can ever imagine.

I am outgoing, likeable(I think),you would never know that sometimes I have considered killing myself on the way to meet you. I have been much better for years , however ,I have been offered a new opportunity which would be great, involves moving. I am currently weighing up whether I will able to expend the energy needed to make this happen without ending up depressed again( am teetering). It fucking sucks.

In many cases feeling sad is about circumstances. But there's a big difference between that and clinical depression.

Even if the outside world is "perfect" someone may still get depression. Conversely, when some people end up in dreadful circumstances, they'll obviously have the normal emotional very sad feelings, but they won't get the illness depression.

Brain chemistry is the missing key there.