To hate being addressed as Mr and Mrs (husband initial) surname!

[LittleMissGerardButlersMinion]

I have my own first name thank you!

Just mr and mrs surname is fine, or mr x and mrs a surname

I know its something certain generations probably do more than others, and it used to be the done thing, but I really don't like it!

I wouldn't say anything as I know its not done on purpose to annoy me, but noooooo!

YANBU - you should be called by your name, just because you are married doesn't mean you aren't a person in your own right!

I recently returned to office work after a long absence and have noticed a change in the way letters are addressed nowadays.

Back in the day I was taught to address married couples as Mr & Mrs A Spickle (husband's initial) rather than Mr A and Mrs B Spickle (which seems to be the norm now). Also if a husband were to pass away, his widow would still be addressed as Mrs A Spickle (husband's initial) rather than Mrs B Spickle (her initial). Can't say it ever bothered me until my DH passed away and I didn't like receiving letters with his initial rather than mine, but it was the correct way years ago.

YANBU. You have the right to be called whatever you choose.

However, I personally find it mindboggling that women still change their last names when they get married. It seems confusing and anachronistic to me to give our daughters a different message to our sons, when we presumably want them both to feel that they can be whoever they want to be in this world.

I realise that this is my personal choice, and not everyone views their name as such a political decision.

Dido this thread has nothing to with correct English grammar.

YANBU, but yes, it comes up over and over again on MN. I get it despite by real name being Ms Ownsurname. It doesn't make me lose sight of who I am, but it's bloody rude.

My DH took my name when we got married, so when people address us as Mr and Mrs HisInitial OurSurname I get a little subversive thrill knowing I'm thwarting them without their knowledge!

The HumpedZebra speaks the truth!

It has nothing to do with correct English. It is a matter of old-fashioned etiquette, an etiquette related to old legal notions that a woman's whole identity was subsumed into her husband's when she married.

Etiquette changes with societal changes, so thankfully this bit of throwback to women being their husband's property is on its way out.

Actually if you were Scottish and lived pre 1850 you may well have kept your maiden surname.

I didn't know that Caitlin. Some Scottish legal documents still use the form "Arabella Maidenname or Marriedname" to identify women.

I always address envelopes to married couples in the format of "Mr and Mrs A Whatsit" and I'm afraid I will continue to do so, unless expressly asked to desist.

And I was born after 1850.
Or even 1950.

It would never occur to me to address an envelope to Mr and Mrs John Smith.

Mr & Mrs Smith.
Mr Smith & Ms Jones.
The Smiths.
The Smith Family.

But no, never his initial.

It doesn't bother me and I didn't even take my husbands name and don't use Mrs as my title.

Well, you might think you are correct Dido but you are in fact simply rude.

Thank you for your opinion DrinkFeckArseGirls.
I shall take it into account.

Actually if you were Scottish and lived pre 1850 you may well have kept your maiden surname.

Which makes it so much easier to research Scottish geneology, BTW.

I'm sure some women enjoy being addressed as their husbands' possessions but I'm guessing it's a small BDSM culture minority.

Also gravestones in Scotland often say, for example, Mary McGregor, wife of Malcolm Brown."