To hate being addressed as Mr and Mrs (husband initial) surname!

[LittleMissGerardButlersMinion]

I have my own first name thank you!

Just mr and mrs surname is fine, or mr x and mrs a surname

I know its something certain generations probably do more than others, and it used to be the done thing, but I really don't like it!

I wouldn't say anything as I know its not done on purpose to annoy me, but noooooo!

I've always found it difficult to decide what looks good instead, but I received an elegantly addressed envelope recently and now have the solution. It had the two names on two lines - like this

Mr A Smith and
Mrs B Smith
101 Address Street
Everywhere

Looked great. (This clever writer had lovely handwriting too.) Deals with everything - titles, names, each person has exactly the correct name without trying to pair them up or squash or portmanteau them together.

You know, I have never been addressed in that way and I've been married 15 years. Either post is sent to 'Mr & Mrs Laregina' or Mr x & Mrs x Laregina'.

Or maybe I've just never noticed when it has happened...

kittymonkey Were you referring to my post?

I said tongue in cheek the op should not have taken her husbands surname in the first place.

How very 1940's to change your surname to that of your husbands

I am thinking of name changing to "Dido the Pedant". What do you think?

PS "Pedant" is not my husband's surname.

Some stupid comments on here, if it bores you, don't reply simple.
and its ridiculous to say you shouldn't have got married then, you take your husband surname not his first aswell!

anyways op I agree mil is the only person that does this.
I tell her I have took his surname and still have my first name I havn't lost my identity.

Blimey, the vitriol is strong this morning...

I do agree with OP that just using the husband's initial is old-fashioned, and I don't like seeing it. However, in my experience it really doesn't happen enough to get wound up about; in my case it's only ever been older relatives who address post this way. The practice is dying out, and there are plenty of other battles to fight...

That'll be "taken" his surname...

Doesn't bother me, we have the same initial.

I agree with the op.

I know the subject has come up before, but loads of you are being really mean in your replies! The subject of the thread was clearly in the title, stay off the thread if you're bored with discussing it.

Dido what was that about? serious been on here a few days and the bitchiness of some women is outrageous grow up please!

Who has the energy to get annoyed by this?

It's far more annoying being referred to as "DS's Mum" or when people as "what's his name" and don't even bother to ask mine.

I've missed all the other threads about this. And was interested in the sociology about it. I was surprised to see doughnuts. Looks like it's an emotive or sore subject.

Is marriage a tricky subject in general? Is it one of those subjects where people feel like one or other choice is being conveyed as better or bragged about? There are plenty of those kinds of subjects. Is this one of them? Just curious. Oh well, whatever it is...

Yeah - OP, I recently received a letter addressed to Mrs 'A' Minotaur, instead of Mrs M. Minotaur, which confused me. I assumed the 's' of 'Mrs' was a typo or a very scrawly extension of the 'r' and thought it must be 'Mr'. So I assumed it wasn't mine and didn't open it.

After I found out it was addressed to me, I was confused! I felt as though my individual identity had been overlooked. It brought out my left-wing, teenage-punk-phase...(again!).

It's probably not a question of right or wrong - more of a personal opinion thing. So, my opinion is - well, I'm not a fan.

I'm fond of the English language. I like correct usage, punctuation and spelling. It means something to me.

Happily, that isn't a crime.

Good for you! Lmao

Hoary old chestnut. You are not being unreasonable but it will provoke ridiculous comments like the one from someone whose name escapes but something blonde about "but I married my husband for a reason" (presumably to get a name change) and Dido brandishing her 1940s edition of Debrett. (Just ignore them)

Since this is a thread about the correct use of English, it seems reasonable to comment on the correct use of English.

It's about people being called the initial of the husbands first name!

But you're okay with being MrsGerardButler?

Well worn topic but no YANBU.

Some people are most affronted by women who don't want to be referred to as Mrs John Smith.

Ignore the ettiquette brigade, your name is what you want it to be not what someone's dusty copy of Debrett's says.

But YABU in your Gerard Butler adoration, he gives me the creeps!

'It is used because it is correct English.'

Incorrect.

I havnt taken my husbands name and i still get this,it pisses me off,and my mil refuses to accept that my kids have my name,and just writed their first name on cards etc,and she knows they have my name,my nan knows i kept my own name and still sends me Mrs feral loin fruits.

THey are both late 60s.

and even if i did take his name i still wouldnt want to be mrs s.feral loin fruits.

writes not writed!Lots of errors in that post but i am multitasking!

Ignore the ettiquette brigade, your name is what you want it to be not what someone's dusty copy of Debrett's says.

This ^^

I don't care if it's a well-worn topic, it drives me mad. It's not 'etiquette' to call me a name I expressly object to - it's bloody rude! It's not 'correct English' it's an arcane social convention.