to be a bit hurt by this comment by friend's DD

[roastedalmondfudge]

Well, I probably am. See what you think.

Friend's DD is 16. It's a pure coincidence as sometimes happen but the DD learns dance from another friend of mine.

So I was talking about an upcoming trip to Edinburgh and we were going to see the ballet and the DD came into the kitchen. I said "oh, (friend's DD) I was just saying how we're (ramble about the ballet.)"

DD sneers and says, "You being friends with Miss X is weird."
"Why?" I laugh, thinking she meant "coincidence."
"Well, it's weird you two are friends, you're not alike."
I said, "How do you mean?" more bemused than anything. The DD shrugs and says, "I dunno," (in a voice that suggests she DOES know" - "she's ... pretty."

Erm - AIBU?

Somersetlady entirely possible. Or it was an unfortunate and inappropriate acronym for something like stylish, elegant, sophisticated, worldly, suave, cultured, interested in stuff like ballet.

Yes, that was rude. Try not to take it to heart - easier said than done though.

In my teens a younger cousin said "the boys who are interested in you must be 'different'"

What she meant was in her eyes I was not conventionally pretty, fashionable or cool like her sister who was about my age so she could not fathom who would actually fancy me.

I laughed it off but it stung as I knew I was no oil painting and did not have money to dress as nicely as I would have liked.

Fast forward 20 years and I have a dh who adores me.

I think I'd use it as a good lesson for your dd to understand that the judgments of her friends are not always worth listening to and have been tempted to give them both a lecture on how being a nice person on the inside is far superior to external looks, and longer lasting.

It still sounds rude even if she did mean to say 'stylish, cultured, elegant..' etc.

That is terrible! And at 16! Not only is it horribly catty and unkind, but it is also a very disrespectful way for a young woman to speak to a friend's mother. I was never anything but super polite to friend's parents at that age, as were all my friends. I would never have said (or even thought) something like that. She sounds ghastly, does your DD know?

Aargh I meant synonym not acronym.

What a rude little cow.

I would never have said this at 6 years old, let alone 16.

I hope her Mum told her off big style when she got home but I doubt it. Mum sounds a bit weak to me which is why her DD thinks she can come out with things like that.

What is her mother like, op?

I would probably tell the mum how rude her daughter was and ask if she's usually that bitchey.

Totally out of order for a 16yo.

How good a friend of the admired dance teacher are you OP? May be you could mention it to her next time you are together. Perhaps if the "cool" dance teacher then had a word about how rude that was it might have more effect on the little madam than if the comment came from her boring Mum or Mum's friends

Gosh, Caitlin, I don't think you're helping. We don't know that the OP isn't any of those things, but I bet she's questioning it now.

fudge - those comments were about that girl, and that girl alone - her wish to be unkind, her wish to feel superior, 'grown-up', whatever. Nothing to do with you at all.

The OP herself made a jokey comment about "being a bog- trotting beast" I took from that the ballet teacher is a bit glamorous,the OP may be isn't and the girl has found a spectacularly tactless way of making that distinction.

I don't think I'd fret about what a 16 year old girl thought of me.

She did finish the sentence, yes.

Well, you know, whether someone is 16 or 36, I am afraid I just don't have the confidence to shrug a comment like that off. I guess some people would - which is good - but to be honest it was pretty upsetting!

Cailin, like a lot of people I mask my insecurities through humour.

The ballet teacher is a nice looking woman but not movie-star gorgeous either so evidently I am so far below her looks-wise I should just not even breathe the same air as her

Luckily I have inner beauty! :)