To go empty handed to a baby shower?

[Meh84]

One of my good friends is having a surprise baby shower next weekend. We've all been asked to bring some food so she doesn't panic about what to feed everyone.

I have a couple of good ideas of what to get her when the baby is born in May, but I can't really afford anything at the moment.

Would it be mean of me to turn up with just a card?

I've been asked to be Godmother to the new baby and I don't want her to think I don't care. I'm so excited and love her and her family to pieces...but I can't bring it up because it's a surprise!

YANBU If you can't afford anything, go without - it's your company that's being requested, and if you're only wanted for your food supply then it's not a party you should want to go to.

Could you bring something novelty or something little. I'm sure she will know you will buy her something when baby is born.

Could you take some vouchers you've made promising gift you could afford at later date? Or promising your time or meals? They could easily be made on computer? I would love that!

I don't like to buy baby gift web before baby arrives safely so to avoid awkwardness at baby showers I usually take a small gift for mum - something luxurious like nice smellies which she probably won't have time to use nice baby arrives!

I would make a lovely card and offer 5 hours of baby sitting or helping round the house/ making tea etc when the baby arrives to be taken when she needs it.

i assume she will be opening gifts at the shower ( i have never been to one) I would get her a little something even if it is silly/cute and explain you will get her a gift after baby comes personally i couldnt go without anything

How about a written promise to do a few hours of childminding or house cleaning once the baby arrives?

I meant for mum not baby

YANBU - do you mean you would take some food but not a gift yet for your friend or baby? There's nothing wrong with that at all but I would take some food, it wouldn't have to cost much.

I like big cats idea, vouchers made on computer - for things like a home cooked meal, a pile of ironing, hoovering, an evening babysitting etc

If you were my friend I'd want you to bring yourself and not give a second thought to a gift!!!

:)

You could always bake a cake if you wanted something to take. If not really don't worry I'm sure a good friend will be pleased you made it and wouldn't want you struggling just to bring a gift!

I've only been to one baby shower - It was my friends sister that I don't know too well and I didn't realise that mum to be opens all gifts in front of everyone and announces who got what- cringe! I did have a present but it wasn't exactly on the same scale as other peoples and I felt a bit embarrassed but then I would have probably felt embarrassed in that situation anyway even if it was an amazing present!

This is a long way in saying I'd maybe get a card instead of a small gift because it will be opened and you will be left trailing saying it's not the real present....whereas if you don't take anything it's quite obvious that you are going to get a gift at a later date. Or maybe I am overthinking things

Have a nice time whatever you decide

Ooh I like the voucher idea! She has a three year old boy too so he could come for a sleep over before the baby get here...give her a little time for her and her other half before three become four!

Bring a dish, and mabey a little something for the mother like flowers and choccies. Or make her a little pamper basket, with say smellies, choccies (I do like chocolate as you can see), nice tea, kind of thing. Tell her tgat you would prefer to get the baby something when it's born.

Some lovely suggestions, thanks everyone :)

Just go, if anyone asks jut tell them quietly you aren't comfortable buying presents before the baby is born. Lots of people where I live are very superstitious and would never buy a present before the baby is born (myself included)

I think the voucher idea sounds cute.

I would never personally go to a baby (or wedding) shower without a gift; the point of the shower is to "shower" the mother with the items she'll need for the new baby, isn't it? We may do things differently in the US, but it's sort of understood that if someone is throwing a shower for you, the purpose is for people to bring gifts. That's why you would never throw a shower for yourself. Otherwise it's just a party.

How about taking some nice nail vanish around and offering a pedicure?

I went to my first one last week. I took a set of naice toiletries for mum in a travel set for her to take to the hospital.
She said she really appreciated that it was for her as she got lots of gifts for the baby

That was my line of thinking hopping as mum tends to get left out a bit

Love the voucher idea - shame I think I've seen all the baby showers ill experience already!

She just wants your company! A card is ample.

Absolutely NOT unreasonable to turn up to an imported give me presents day empty-handed. Ugh.

Argh... I got invited to my first shower last year which said 'strictly no gifts'. So I didn't take anything and as I have with all my friends was planning to spend quite a bit on baby when it arrived.

I then had to sit there like an idiot whilst she opened every one else's gifts one by one in a big circle I was the only one who hadn't brought anything. Personally I think it's quite greedy - so I was meant to get the baby two sets of presents (others bought fresh pressies when baby arrived too)?

Definitely take something - clearly it is an unwritten expectation at these things... Weird concept!