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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I have a rant pls about 'ill' DH! Im prob BU

33 replies

brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 14:36

Apologies for this probably long and Boring post but just need to VENT

My baby is due today and no signs that he is on his way, my usually lovely DH has been 'sick' since I started my maternity over 3 weeks ago!! He first had flu and it seems to have turned into sinusitis, he seems to be getting really sharp pains in his face several times a day and its keeping him awake at night. Luckily he gets to work from home so this helps. The problem is this pain is making him in such a foul mood and depressed he's really putting a dampener on my maternity leave. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells round the house, we hardly speak unless he feels well enough. It's so ANNOYING.... This is meant to be my time to relax and for us to look forward to our baby coming but this fricking illness has overtaken everything!!! I know I probably sound like a spoilt brat, I hardly ever get ill myself and really have to make a massive effort to be sympathetic but three weeks of him feeling sorry for himself is really getting on my tits. He said this morning after another night of no sleep 'this is a real crap existence to live in' ARGHHH GROW A PAIR!!! HOW WILL YOU COPE WITH NO SLEEP WHEN THE BABY COMES??? obviously I just went with something like 'sorry you feel that way darling'

also this stupid illness has put a halt on decorating the baby room, we ripped up the carpet a month ago and need to repair and sand floorboards, he isn't the best at DIY so used this illness as an excuse not to do it, I feel gutted that I haven't been able to get his room ready before he comes... I want to nest!! when will we get chance to do it???

Ok, rant over, please feel free to tell me IABU and give me a slap round the face- just needed to get it all out after 3 weeks of playing nurse wifey.

Sorry it's soooo long and self indulgent!!!!!!!

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 17/03/2014 14:42

Don't worry about the room not being ready. Chances are your baby will be in your room for a good few months anyway.

Has your dh been to the doctor? Could be shingles or something like that. I believe it can be brought on by stress and can be very very painful.

deakymom · 17/03/2014 14:45

has he been to see the doctor? ive had sinus problems before my face felt like it was scalded but i had no lack of sleep or stabbing pains xx

are you punching him in the face in his sleep? i would Grin

YANBU you just want things ready i can totally relate xx

Doingakatereddy · 17/03/2014 14:47

Sounds like DH may be having a bit of a panic?? I'd sit him down, calmly say look you've been I'll a while - what's going on? Focus on him, not the baby or you & try to see if there's a problem.

Baby will be in your room probably, but if it's doing your head in get DH to do it or perhaps parents? Got money to get someone in?

Good luck, get out the house if you can - will help your sanity and in a few weeks you'll have a beautiful snugly newborn.

onepieceoflollipop · 17/03/2014 14:50

Hmm maybe it is just very unfortunate timing. yes, he needs to go to doctor if he hasn't already. Does he have form for being ill and attention seeking? If not, I would just try to accept he is quite unwell and it is the timing, not him, that is unreasonable.

Musicaltheatremum · 17/03/2014 15:25

Sinusitis is really horrible and disturbs your sleep. Has he tried sudafed? Or see the GP. at that stage antibiotics may be needed.

gimcrack · 17/03/2014 15:29

Send him to the GP. If he says no, it can't be that bad.

JumpingJackSprat · 17/03/2014 15:35

You are being totally unreasonable.

HauntedNoddyCar · 17/03/2014 15:44

Did he have proper flu? Rather than a horrible cold? If he had proper lying still in a dark room with all your joints hurting etc flu then yabu because it can take weeks to get over.

If it was a cold and self diagnosed sinusitis then unless he's taking suitable symptom alleviating drugs yanbu .

AlpacaLypse · 17/03/2014 15:46

yanbu to feel like this.

hibu if he's been wallowing around with this level of illness and hasn't been to a gp.

Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 15:48

Thanks everyone, he has been to the Gp last week and given antibiotics which doesn't seem to clear it, so it's possibly viral rather than bacterial, I think if he's in so much pain maybe he should go back and he may get stronger painkillers rather than ibuprofen. It seems to be mainly in his teeth or jaw I'm worried it's more of a dental problem but he's too stubborn to listen.

I know the babe won't need a room for a few months... I just wanted everything perfect

Thanks for the replies, I just needed to write it down and get it all out.... Feel better now Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 15:51

I need to stop being a cow and find my nice mothering nurturing side....the poor sod

OP posts:
TerrorAustralis · 17/03/2014 15:59

You may be being a tiny bit unreasonable. But so is he. He's focussed on how awful he feels and you're focussed on your pregnancy and the baby. I think you should both be a bit more considerate of each other.

The best thing for sinus is one of these. Get him one (or tell him to get himself one) and get him using it every half hour until the worst of the congestion has gone. Then keep doing it a few times a day until it's all gone. You don't have to keep buying the sachets. Just use a teaspoon of salt. It's quite amazing the gunk that comes out.

Beanymonster · 17/03/2014 16:03

Your both obviously being unreasonable, but your 40+ weeks pregnant and allowed so basically, he is being unreasonable!

Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 16:06

Hi terror,

Thanks for the suggestion, although he says he's not congested anymore so I don't know what else to suggest to him other than painkillers

OP posts:
wobblyweebles · 17/03/2014 16:07

It could well be that the antibiotics weren't strong enough - this is what happened to my husband. He had to go back and get a second stronger batch.

He also wondered if it was a dental issue but it was definitely sinusitis (he saw both dentist and GP).

FederationPresidentBarryFife · 17/03/2014 16:07

I had sinusitis, just before I was due to give birth to DC3. It was so painful I thought "this is worse than childbirth". Then I gave birth and realised sinusitis is a blimmin walk in the park! so, in conclusion: He is BU!!! Grin

Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 16:08

Ha thanks Beany....my thoughts exactly, I do feel sorry for him, just wish he could be better so we can enjoy our last few days together as a two!

OP posts:
grimbletart · 17/03/2014 16:12

OH - it's not trigeminal neuralgia is it? That causes really sharp intense pains in the face and jaw and is the pits. It's not called the suicide disease for nothing! Can sometimes be triggered by sinusitis and people often think it is their teeth to blame when it isn't.

DD, who is the world's most stoic person, had it and although she staggered on at work being treated with anti convulsants and anti depressants (not for depression but to calm the trigeminal nerve) there were times the pain was so great she would just curl up on the floor in a foetal ball with the pain.

He should get it checked out.

Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 16:14

Haha federation, I'm just going to keep quiet, keep being sympathetic on the outside (even though thinking total cowish thoughts on the inside) and hopefully he'll perk up during childbirth when he realises at least he'll never have to birth a human out of his nether regions

OP posts:
Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 16:18

Oh grumble that sounds awful!!! I don't know, he really just used dr google to diagnose himself and then told his Gp he wants antibiotics- which haven't done anything, so I hope his Gp would have considered what else it could be? I'm trying to talk him into going back to the drs as the pain hasn't eased in a week, but he has read that sinusitus can last up to 12 weeks and you just have to wait it out, he is determined that this is what is wrong

OP posts:
Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 16:18

Sorry- grumble not grumble!

OP posts:
Original poster
brightonbeachbaby14 · 17/03/2014 16:18

Gaaaah bloody autocorrect GRIMBLE I mean

OP posts:
TerrorAustralis · 17/03/2014 16:27

Even if his nose is clear, if he still has sinus pain it should help. The sinuses are probably blocked up with gunk.

vastknapsack · 17/03/2014 17:02

Could be trigeminal neuralgia- I had this recently after an abscess. Was prescribed amitriptyline to help with sleep which helped massively

vastknapsack · 17/03/2014 17:05

Oh cross posts with grimbletart!