To ask, if you hated being an only child, could your parents have made it better for you?

[LalaLeona]

Hi there, first time poster here. I am mum to an only child, dd7, and after reading the previous thread about only children I am feeling (albeit probably irrationally as this is a sore point for me) really anxious about my DD's childhood and future..just wondered if any of the unhappy onlies out there could give me some tips on how to be a good parent to my only. I do have a Dsd of 20 but she lives with her mother and is at uni. Her and DD have a great relationship but probably only see each other once or twice a month..i make a big effort to see cousins even though they are quite far away, and DD has plenty of friends round, but I wish I could do more. I had severe PND with my DD for the first year, and left it a long time to have another. My partner is 48 and we simply can't afford another, so DD7 will definitely be an only at home. Any advice on how I could improve our situation would be greatly received. Sorry if this sounds rambling. Thanks so much!

FFS half a mother indeed. And if she had another she'd be the sort that needed one of each to 'complete' the family I suppose.

I'd like to reassure you OP. Not all only children grow up sad and lonely. Both my SIL's were only's and were really happy about it. Several of my friends are also too and only one wishes she had siblings. I have 2 older brothers, I love them very much but most of my memories of growing up are of them fighting and they still don't get along today.

I have one Dd, I did plan on having another but it did'nt work out. I felt sad about if for a couple of years and she has been through phases of saying she wishes she had a sibling. The vast majority of the time though she is very, very happy (she's 11) and DP and I are over the moon with our little family. Dd really enjoys alot of quiet time so she gets as much of that as she needs. I'm never too tired to do things with her, even thought I have some health problems having one child is manageable for me even at my worst times. During the school holidays we plan amazing days out taking out time and doing exactly what we want without having to take into consideration a younger child. Her friends are always welcome to come and play and often sleepover. We've taken 2 of her friends on holiday with us which has been brilliant. We are very sociable and organise lots of events with our friends and neighbours so Dd is part of a wider community and has loads of people looking out for her.

All in all it's fabulous and it's also "how it is". There is virtually nothing we can do about it anyway so you have to look at the positives and really enjoy things the way they are. In our opinion there is much to reccomend it and I never would've thought that before I had children.

OP, I'm an only.

Yes, there were lonely times in my childhood. But I learned to dream and make believe so not all bad.

Actually it's worse now, as my parents aged and my Dad died. I feel the rsponsibility for my Mum very heaviliy.

I am feeling that too wordfactory, and I have 5 siblings! Sometimes in can just pan out that only one of a bunch of siblings ends up taking the responsibility anyway-mine range from The south east to the Far East.

I do know what you mean though, in that one of my friends has experienced both parents dying, and now he feels alone in a way I won't.