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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get a cat even though I don't actually like them...

108 replies

daisy0chain · 10/03/2014 13:59

I want a pet! I've always had animals apart from the last 2 years.

I'm a dog person but in all honesty I don't think I have the time to dedicate to a dog. It wouldn't be fair as I will be upping my days at work shortly and although I probably could pay a dog walker it's an expense I'd rather not have (upwards of £15 an hour in my area)

I'm a single parent so don't have anyone else I could rely on to help out either, my parents are close by but work full time themselves and I wouldn't ever expect them to be responsible for a pet I choose to have.

So it brings me to this, I could get a cat. I'm not overly keen on cats but I put that down to having been scratched and bitten by a vicious little ginger thing that lived across from my parents growing up.

I'm sure I would like my cat, I didn't particularly like children until I had my daughter. I'm still not keen on some children however I adore my DD and my friends kids.

Help!! Has anyone changed their mind from not liking and animal to liking their own. Am I insane for even considering getting a cat?

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 10/03/2014 14:25

'It would be unfair on the cat, if he/she ended up in a home where the owner was indifferent.'

Not unfair at all, in a room full of people cats always know who's indifferent to them and they're the person they make a beeline for to overlavish attention on

cls77 · 10/03/2014 14:26

Ive never been a cat person myself, but due to working full time hours have recently rescued a cat for myself and dd12. Best thing we ever did, and weve had pet rats, dog, guinea pigs (which we still have and the cat loves ) have a look around the rescue centres and see what you think. You may well find a new best friend there :)

NaturalBaby · 10/03/2014 14:34

My dc's adore our cats and the cats particularly love my dc's, especially when they're all curled up in bed at night.

I would also second getting an older cat so you know what kind of cat you're getting. We've had all ours from kittens and I'm very surprised at how they've turned out.

LadyVetinari · 10/03/2014 14:35

It doesn't sound to me like you really want a cat. If your ideal is a dog, I presume you want a pet that's interactive, strongly bonded to you, allows you to be quite hands-on, and is at home when you are. Some cats are like that but most aren't IME, and I think you'll find that the negative aspects of owning one outweigh the positives if what you want is "a pet" rather than A Cat.

If what I've described is what you want in a pet, have you thought about a cockatiel? If you put the time in when they're very young they can be very tactile, sociable, and playful, and they're not difficult or expensive to keep. Some breeders even sell baby 'tiels that are already semi-tame. I would definitely not recommend any other kind of bird because they come with all of the negative aspects of dogs and cats, but with very different positives (and I say this as somebody who owns many birds). However, I do think that the disposition of the cockatiel makes it an anomaly, and it can be a good alternative to a dog if you want the interaction, bonding, and "hands-on" type of pet ownership but without the expense, destructiveness, and high care needs of a dog. The only downsides I can think of are that they can make a bit of a racket, they need bigger cages and more toys than you'd think, they can be quite messy (as all birds can), and you need to be able to commit to giving them safe time out for flying and handling every day. Oh, and for the sake of their health you can't keep them in a kitchen or a room with candles, draughts, damp, non-stick appliances (including irons), fluorescent lighting (which looks like it's flashing on and off to them because they see differently from us), open windows, doors to the outside world, or ceiling fans. (I'm not an expert on 'tiels, so please do more research if you're interested!)

KellyElly · 10/03/2014 14:36

My cats are like dogs - constantly hungry, malt everywhere and want 24 hour strokes/cuddles and play time . One of them is best friend's with DD and she adores them. They are much easier than dogs and don't stink like dogs do.

truelymadlysleepy · 10/03/2014 14:37

I'm a dog person, never very interested in cats.
Now we've got a rescue cat i absolutely love him more than DH.
It's a bit like DCs, not keen on other people's but love your own.

soverylucky · 10/03/2014 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hoppinggreen · 10/03/2014 14:39

My DH didn't like cats - he had never had one.
When he moved in with me I had 2 and him and the cats eyed each other warily for a bit but then I had to go away for a week for work and by the time I got back they were all loved up!!!
He said to me " they've actually got personalities haven't they!!!!"
I don't think he would ever choose to get one of it wasn't for me and the DC but he is fond of them and we have never been without one ( or more)

LackingEnergy · 10/03/2014 14:40

What about a ferret? Sleeps a lot so won't mind you not being home as often, very playful, better dog substitute than a cat :-)

They don't have to smell bad either

2Kids2Cats1Dog · 10/03/2014 15:07

Why not go for a couple of Siamese cats. They will keep each other company while you are outThey are very vocal, intelligent and very much dog -like. Watch a load of Youtube videos of them to see what you think.

I love

mrsnec · 10/03/2014 15:09

I wasn't a cat person at all until I met ours. Dh and I were living apart. Dh was renovating our new house while I was packing up the old one. A kitten turned up and he took a shine to her. After a while he left her for a few days while he came to collect me and the deal was if she was still there when we both got back she stays. When we arrived she was sitting in the middle of the drive waiting for us. I love the fact that she chose to live with us, I would have got a pet of some sort but she saved me a job! She doesn't have a litter box so no smell, she's affectionate and basically like a dog you don't have to walk and can leave overnight occasionally. She's brilliant and she was great company for me whilst I was settling in and also when I was recovering from an illness. Why don't you try fostering one if it hadn't already been suggested.

Meow75 · 10/03/2014 15:16

The more you post the more I think you would be fine. If you were to go to a rescue centre, where there are many options, I bet you a pound to a penny you'd find a cat you clicked with on your very first visit.

If I didn't have to have a job (I am currently unemployed, but don't plan on staying that way) I'd have a dog as well, but cats will always be a part of my life, just like they have been since I was 5 years old.

I think, like with many things, like with children, you can desperately love your own while strongly disliking many or all others. At least find out a bit more - just because you're not going to get a kitten, doesn't mean it has to be ancient. There'll be lots of young Mummy cats that have been rescued at this time of year, and many many people will instantly be drawn to the kittens. If you go for a black cat, all the better as they tend to get overlooked but we've had a lovely thing called Licorice since 2007, and she's so lovely. So was her predecessor, Ace.

Don't forget to come back and let us know what happens.

Latara · 10/03/2014 15:42

I've got a black fluffy cat, don't know if it's the Persian temperament but she's like a dog; she follows me everywhere, gets lonely and howls and bangs on doors if they are shut in her face.

She did used to be vicious though but the RSPCA did warn me about that so listen carefully to what any cat rescue shelter have to say - I got my cat knowing she hadn't been 'socialised' when most sensible people would run a mile.

I had to put lots of effort in for about 5 years (!) and now I've got a lovely friendly sociable cat.

Latara · 10/03/2014 15:43

Ragdolls are supposed to have lovely temperaments but they are quite expensive.

Madratlady · 10/03/2014 15:46

Have you considered a house rabbit? Or pair of rabbits? They are a bit messy and quite a commitment though.

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/03/2014 15:54

I am a single parent with a dog and two cats. You know what my dog lives me as long as I feed it and walk it. Cupboard affection nice, but not special.
My cats love me because they love me. When they bestow their affection on me it really is special. As a single parent being made to feel special is so important. Cats do this dogs don't.

Original poster

daisy0chain · 10/03/2014 16:24

I have thought about a rabbit or such like but to be honest I've zero experience with them and I do like an animal (always previously a dog) padding about the house.

I think a few people have maybe got the wrong idea, I obviously wouldn't get an animal without properly looking into it, hence the post here. It would be later in the year as I already have a holiday booked and wouldn't want to get any pet knowing I would need someone else to care for it when it may still be settling in, I think it would be cruel.

I also would never neglect any animal and as I have said I'm more scared of cats than actually dislike them. It's not like I would be getting an animal I know I'm going to hate. I'm bargaining on very much liking my own cat as hopefully by going to cat's protection I will have an idea of the temperament of the cat and won't be scared every time it jumps on me

I'm going to have a chat with my Mum's colleague who volunteers with the cat's protection society and see what she advises too. I've also got friends who have cats and we're planning on visiting to meet the cat's and hopefully dispel some of the fear.

Thanks for all the advice on cat breeds etc. It was a Siamese that my Gran had when I was little and I loved that cat. From what others are saying they are maybe a good breed for me.

OP posts:

Madratlady · 10/03/2014 16:34

Maybe you could go to the Cat's Protection to meet some cats and see how you feel then?

Bagofnutsnbolts · 10/03/2014 16:53

Hi daisy, reading your responses I think you have already made up your mind! Go for it, you could ask your local vets if they know of an old baggy cat wanting a new home! Our cat turned up out of the blue just over a year ago. I don't like cats, but after a week of the creature sitting in our porch getting thinner and thinner I finally relented and started feeding it! Took her to vets to see if she was chipped and she wasn't, put up loads of notices, no one claimed her! I still have my reservations esp. As she keeps brining in baby bunnies, but the children and OH just love her and her temperament is amazing, puts up with alsorts of things! So good luck in your search

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/03/2014 16:56

My best cat is a 'disabled' cat who stole my heart as despite people being wicked to her she still loves people. Maybe looking out for a soul who needs you as much as you need them.

Original poster

daisy0chain · 10/03/2014 16:57

Your probably right bagofnuts I think I thought I was undecided when I'd maybe already made up my mind

Thanks Madratlady that's maybe a good idea. I'll mention it to her when I speak to her.

OP posts:

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 10/03/2014 16:57

Cats homes are crying out for fosterers. Why dont you try that first? If you look after a cat and fall in love, ask to keep it. If you don't, hand him or her over for adoption and you've done a wonderful civic duty. Was how DH (sneaky bastard) got me into cats...

tabulahrasa · 10/03/2014 16:59

Siamese are great

They turn up in rescues as well fairly often - and there are a couple of rescues set up that rehome just Siamese cats, so it's not an either or thing at all.

Dinosaursareextinct · 10/03/2014 17:00

If your DC wants a cat, and you are ambivalent, then get one. They are great pets, and so so easy. And even if you don't fall in love, your DC probably will.

theimposter · 10/03/2014 17:04

Get a Burmese; they are as close to a dog as you will get and ours has me in stitches. She also rules the roost and the dog is scared of her! I've never been for or against cats particularly although would always prefer a dog but she is really good fun to have around and will come and play in the park chasing balls and pouncing on the dog and stuff like that. She's not sure if she is a dog or cat...

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