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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people don't have a CLUE!?

93 replies

BumpyGrindy · 08/03/2014 22:48

DH and I don't earn a lot. I can't drive and I am sick of people saying "Oh you need to get driving lessons..."

No shit Sherlock!

DO these people have no idea how much they cost! I can't even afford the frigging licence!

I wouldn't mind a one off remark...but really....there are certain people saying it weekly to me and I want to say "Oh you're right! Yes...well once ALL OUR MONEY HAS GONE ON LIVING then how about you pay for them?"

Are people really this ignorant about how much others have to live on?

OP posts:
tiggytape · 08/03/2014 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DevonCiderPunk · 08/03/2014 23:15

Hmmm as the only driver in my house, who has carefully budgeted for lessons, test, car itself, insurance, tax, upkeep, petrol...

...it REALLY fucks me off that my partner just shrugs and says that he can't help out because lessons are too expensive.

EduCated · 08/03/2014 23:16

Ruby If that was for me, then you're right, I can't drive, and won't be able to until I can pass a test and cope with the being watched without panicking and doing daft things. On my last test even the examiner told me off, because I drive fine for most of the test (2 minors) then panicked at a roundabout and hugely fucked up (1 big fat major). But until
I can do it without panicking I wont pass, and won't be a safe driver.

Coumarin · 08/03/2014 23:17

I've come to the conclusion that the majority of the 'ooh don't you drive?' smug artists have passed very little else in their lives other than their driving test.

Coumarin · 08/03/2014 23:18

Ha! That sounded way more bitter than I meant it. But honestly it gets on my tit end.

tiggytape · 08/03/2014 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Latara · 08/03/2014 23:23

I can't drive due to epilepsy but if it suddenly improved then I wouldn't be able to afford to drive anyway...

It's paying for lessons, the practical test, the theory tests, the insurance, the car, the petrol, MOTs, all the other expenses that having a car entails. £1000s to start from scratch of never driving.

Original poster
BumpyGrindy · 08/03/2014 23:23

Bertie yes...is a garden (small) REALLY worth 300 a month? Only use it 4 months out of 12!

I can garden on the bloody balcony! I am viewing it next week and if it's got a balcony of decent size and the rooms are large-ish then I am going for it. There's a communal garden and a massive green outside. The village is bloody beautiful..like a picture postcard.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 08/03/2014 23:28

Doooooo it! I live abroad now and nobody has a garden but balconies are great, I'd go for a balcony over a garden actually.

Tulip26 · 08/03/2014 23:31

Can I just jump in here and say I really like driving? I had more trouble getting through my test than you can imagine. Six instructors, failed theory twice and my car got nicked two weeks after I passed! But you know what? I love it. I love driving. It costs me a lot but it's almost cured my (decades of) depression in the last few years. I can go where I like, do what I want.

My life suddenly felt like my own, if that makes any sense at all. No relying on buses or other people for lifts. I can just go where the wind takes me.

peggyundercrackers · 08/03/2014 23:37

These people probably do know how much it costs but obviously don't know how little you live on, just because you don't earn as much as them doesn't make them ignorant though. Sounds like you rent quite a nice house which costs quite a bit of money so they may think your quite well off...

MyNameIsKenAdams · 08/03/2014 23:38

Get the flat, but dont put the extra 300 tpwards you learning to drive. You have one driver in your household thats enough. Even if you just got rid of the car and hired one for exceptional circs when needed (sometimes cheaper than train tickets).

Use the 300 to enjoy your life.

And I say this as a driver. My dh isnt and tbh its no matter. He doesnt have the inclination or the need to drive.

treaclesoda · 08/03/2014 23:41

I've never ever done this before because I know it's considered bad form to refer to another thread but I swear that 30 secs ago I just read a post from the OP on another thread discussing an incident where she almost ran someone over when she was driving Confused I would never normally notice something like that but I read it just seconds before I opened this thread.

ouryve · 08/03/2014 23:42

I sort of half wish I could drive every time I'm stood or an eternity waiting for a £7 return bus, then remember I'd have to catch that bus more than twice a week, every week, for the cost of running a banger to break even.

lostabottle · 08/03/2014 23:42

I have a DS who is disabled so I got funded for a course of free driving lessons from a charity (was worth about £1800 I think). But I found it so hard that when I got to the end of the allocated number of lessons, my instructor said that I wasn't ready to take a test so I had to pay for further lessons out of my own pocket, which I really struggled to afford (single mum as well as a disabled DS). Then my instructor said I could try taking the test, but I still managed to fail. Took more lessons and tried again and failed (one of DS's diagnoses is dyspraxia and I suspect I have it too). Then I had to stop, the money I was spending could have been spent helping my DS.

Plus I looked up insurance for new drivers and it cost thousands (expensive inner city area), and with the costs of petrol, mots, maintenance, repairs etc it was never going to be affordable compared with the cost of public transport (which luckily is excellent in our city and DS can cope with it).

HadABadDay2014 · 08/03/2014 23:50

It really depend on why people are saying it to you.

I enjoy driving and will happy to give lifts to people, but it fucks me off when people expect me to drop everything to give them lifts.

TheZeeTeam · 08/03/2014 23:53

I know I've been guilty of saying this in the past. Because, if you learned as a 17 year old, paid by your parents, you're honestly not really aware how much it costs until you're paying for your own child to do it!

I do think the UK should offer a Drivers Ed programme in sixth form as it's so much easier to learn when you're young and you have no other commitments.

WorraLiberty · 08/03/2014 23:54

I know it well 70's

I had a head on collision outside Gants Hill Odeon

I was trying to avoid the huge roundabout because I was nervous of it...and like a twat I pulled into a one way street the wrong way!

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/03/2014 23:58

I would recommend anyone to learn to drive as.soon as they hit 17, before life gets in the way, if at all possible. It's one thing I am very glad I did back then, and I had a Saturday job which purely paid for the lessons. Even if it takes a year it's worth it IMO. I know everyones circumstances are different though.

Original poster
BumpyGrindy · 08/03/2014 23:59

Treacle no...I was riding my bike! Grin Down a lane...but there's another BumpandGrind. I'm BumpyGrindy.

OP posts:
Original poster
BumpyGrindy · 09/03/2014 00:01

Ken I think I'd have to learn as we'd be a bit further from school...DH can do school runs but it's easier if I do them. He'll have to drop them off for breakfast club to make it work for him with his job...and though that's not terrible, it might be a bit much...ideally I'd like to drive so I can go shopping and things...but I'm not that bothered otherwise.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/03/2014 00:14

This is right up there with 'just move'. Let me just break out my wand and magic up thousands of pounds and plenty of flats that aren't in a dump that are happy to take tenants with kids. Oh, wait . . .

DomesticSlobbess · 09/03/2014 00:22

YANBU!

I get this all the time. I don't drive. I had a few lessons when I was 17. Then was without a job for a few months so had to stop. To be fair, I was fucking terrible and it was probably for the best that I was off the roads. Then when I got a job, it just wasn't a priority I was busy spending money on clothes and nights out and I was quite happy getting the bus to work.

Fast forward a million years and I now live in a small village. Everything is on my doorstep, a train to the main shopping areas takes minutes. It would be nice to have a car so I could take DS further afield while DP is at work but like I say to everyone who tells me I need to learn to drive, "Even if I knew how to drive, I couldn't afford to buy and insure one!"

Then they say, "Just use DP's car" which defeats the whole purpose of me having a car, because he already drives us if he's at home and then he would need the car for work anyway. A friend who is learning is always offering to give me her instructor's number, as if I can just magic money out my arse and start lessons that same week.

expatinscotland · 09/03/2014 00:29

Yeah, just use his car. K, still need to be insured and have a provisional license. Then, if he's using it for work and you have no childcare, how is he supposed to teach you to drive with the kids in the car?

Trust me, I learned to drive a manual car with my ex, we almost split over that!

ChubbyKitty · 09/03/2014 00:37

Ohhhh yadnbu!!

I could have almost written this. Except Neither of us drive. Angry

Some people I know have some very odd opinions of how we spend our hard earned peanuts. I always though it was better to spend on things like rent and food!

And if I'm being completely honest I don't want to drive. DP does and will when we have the money. But for the time being we like to eat.

I've perfected the 'smile and nod', not just about driving, but other random topics people like to stick their nose into.