I think DH shouldn't get involved

[Bigmrsdragon]

My SIL (my DHs sister) and her partner are expecting their first baby and have decided not to find out the sex.

However a few weeks ago I took her shopping for baby clothes and everything she chose was very girly,like a fluffy white coat with pink lining and bibs with bunnies in dresses and pink trim.
She is also very vocal saying she wants the baby to be a girl, she wouldn't know what to do with boys and a girl is her dream etc.
Yesterday I was with SIL and she said that she didn't want something her friend bought her because it was a bit boyish.

The thing is her partner doesn't know the sex and I think she is lying to him about it too. My DH is also suspicious and he wants to tell her partner that she seems to be lying to him.

I have told him not to because it isn't our business but DH really wants too and he keeps saying how unfair it is.

So should DH tell him or just leave them to it.

[pictish]

It's none of his business! Why does he think he's even entitled to an opinion?
No...he should not tell his bil. It's not his place to. Butt out man!

[Floggingmolly]

Tell him to mind his own fucking business! Is he always this much of petty little busybody?

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

I would politely remind your DH that if it were him and you did not want him to know he would have absolutely no right to challenge that

[Bigmrsdragon]

He thinks he is entitled to an opinion because she is his sister. I told have told him that he shouldn't get involved and if my brother tried to interfere I would be angry.
But he things it's different because his family are close.

[pictish]

Well he's wrong. She's his sister, not his possession. He has no 'right' to insert himself in her business whatsoever.

[Catsmamma]

gawd I can't believe the things some folks stick their noses into.

tbh there's not much choice, boy or girl so yaknow....

op tell your dh to mind his own beeswax.

[RevoltingPeasant]

OP really? My mum knew I was a boy. Just knew. I was going to be called Benjamin.

Except, I turned out to be a girl.

Oops.

Stay out of it, I doubt she really knows anything.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

And fwiw I decided my youngest child was going to be a boy I have no idea why.

I was delighted when midway through a rather long running names thread I no longer had to decide which train name to use next as dc was a girl

[iamsoannoyed]

You are absolutely right to tell him to mind his own business.

1. because it is really nothing to do with him; 2) Neither of you actually know for sure that she is lying (she may just have convinced herself it's a girl, or may be choosing things she likes and intends the baby to wear it whatever the sex); and 3)whether she's lying to her DH or not, interfering like this is likely going to cause a rift in your DH's relationship with his sister (and BIL) unnecessarily, due to points 1 and 2.
   
   I suppose their is also the (highly unlikely) possibility that they both know the sex, but are keeping it from everyone else (no idea why you would do this, but I have heard of a friend of a friend who did this with baby no 4).

[OddFodd]

Your DH doesn't know any more than her DP does though does he? He's just making an assumption.

Unless her partner's unbelievably thick, he's going to come to the same conclusion as Inspector Clouseau eventually I'd have thought

[iamsoannoyed]

I'd point out to your DH that although his family is close now, if he shit stirs like he is suggesting, they may not be close for very much longer and it will be completely his own doing.

[Logg1e]

OP is doing what we would all do. She's double-checked and asked for your opinions. I don't think she can do much more and I think that there's a chance this will turn in to a Bigmrsdragon-bashing thread.

[pictish]

Not at all! We're all agreeing with her!

[theborrower]

She might not be lying to her partner, she might just be getting carried away with the hope/thought of having a girl hence the girlie-ish clothes.

Her partner will see the clothes and either think she does secretly know about the sex (if so, does it matter, if he didn't want to know) or think the same, that she's just hoping for a girl and getting carried away buying cutesy things.

But no, no way should your DH tell the guy he thinks he's being lied to. That's a big presumption to make, and not his place to say.

[NearTheWindymill]

He'll look a complete plonker if the baby's a boy.

[Jux]

For all he knows, they have "come to an arrangement" whereby she knows but he doesn't. If your dh gets involved in that then he ballses up the arrangement and ruins it for them both and they will not want to involve him (or you) in their lives so much. Does he really want to risk that? is it worth it? It's not your dh's business at all in any way shape or form. Is he jealous? Does he honestly think that he should be inserting himself right into the middle of how they are dealing with their pregnancy? Is it all about him?

He is being a busybody. Put your foot down. He is in danger of ruining his relationship with them just for nothing.

If she were having an affair, it might be different.

[Logg1e]

There you go, jux's post is the kind of thing I mean.

[ZombiesAreClammyDodgers]

Your DH needs to mind his own business!!!

[Sparklysilversequins]

Your DH sounds like a complete tit! Is he generally this much of a sanctimonious busy body?

[EverythingCounts]

Tell him he will make himself the villain of the piece if he says anything. No-one will thank him for it.

[KissesBreakingWave]

She probably knows the same way ExW KNEW BEYOND ALL DOUBT that DS2 was a girl. (He's all grown up now, and is and has always been quite ludicrously male.) Fortunately, all the girly baby clothes she'd laid in came in for when DD came along four years later...

[Topaz25]

Oh god I can't stand it when people interfere in other people's lives because they think they are doing the right thing. The deep denial makes them much more difficult to reason with than if they could admit they are just being a twat.

He has no right to interfere in his sister's relationship. He has no evidence that she even knows the sex of the baby, it might be mother's intuition, there is no reason for him to start gossiping and guessing and spoil this special time in their lives.

[EBearhug]

My younger sibling was always going to be a boy. My parents had only thought about boys names.

She turns 40 this year. So just because she's buying pink stuff doesn't mean she definitely knows she's having a girl, and it's best not to get involved.


Having said that, if I were out shopping with someone like your SiL, I'd be telling them to stop with the gender stereotyping before the poor child is even born. Boys can wear pink, girls can wear blue, and you don't want tons of frills or anything in any case, just something that will withstand going through the washing machine several times. (This may be why none of my friends has taken me baby clothes shopping. They know what I'm like.)

[LittleprincessinGOLDrocks]

Maybe she feels it will be a girl?
The feelings when pregnant can make you almost sure which gender you are carrying (not always right - I was wrong both times. Should have just stuck to guessing Species not gender I hate being wrong!). Enough to make you favour pink items over blue etc.
It does not mean that she sneaked a look without telling her DH. Maybe she saw clearly herself on the scan their was no penis, and has assumed girl, but doesn't want to totally ruin the surprise for her husband?
Or maybe they both know, but didn't want to tell everyone yet?

Whatever the truth is it is none of your husbands business and he needs to keep out of it.

[AdoraBell]

Maybe the father does know and also doesn't To tell others.

YANBU, your DH should leave them alone.