To refuse to attend a meal because it will keep DS up past his bedtime?

[KirjavaTheCat]

FIL invited me, DP, 3yo DS and 16 week old DD to dinner tonight, to meet his girlfriend's parents. Apparently, FIL says, his girlfriend (of 8 months) talks about them so much that they feel like they're part of their family, and would very much like to meet their daughter's 'adopted grandchildren' They've picked out names they'd like our 3yo to call them by, so we're told. I find this very weird.

This meal is taking place at a shopping centre which is an hour and a half's train journey away (we don't drive) at 6pm. We asked to meet closer, given the time and the distance we'd have to travel on public transport with a small EBF baby and a tired, hungry toddler. We'd be back about 9-9.30pm, DS and DD are usually in bed by 7.30. It's just too far to travel so late.

He said no can do, we can't have the meal anywhere else because his girlfriend's parents are very particular about where they eat.

So we declined and aren't going.

FIL is enraged and had been messaging DP all day saying how very disappointed his girlfriend's parents are, they were so looking forward to seeing the children, and that they may as well cancel the whole thing now.

AIBU to not give a crap, really? And to think that it was a ridiculous idea?

No fricking way, and that's without the kids. . .

And the whole name thing is creepy.

Twooter Yeah - surely your DP can go to meet his new granny and gramps without you and DC?

why the hell would anyone, with DC or not, want to travel for 90 minutes to eat in a shopping centre? I don't mind the odd late night but not with such a long journey on public transport, and not to meet people who have absolutely nothing to do with you! (And names is weird. FIL's DP is just called by her actual name by DD - why not??)

Some kids would be fine some would be a nightmare. It's up to you. 1 1/2 by public transport with 2 young kids would be enough to put me off though.

YANBU. Christ. Some people.

I find it that they're so 'particular' about where they want to eat but their chosen venue is a restaurant in a shopping centre.

If they live overseas how do they know they only want to eat here?

The whole idea sounds totally ridiculous. Send your DP along with photos of the kids.

YANBU to not want to meet weird sounding strangers in a shopping centre eaterie.

Why not ask them all round to yours at a time convenient to you ?

Is it Spud U Like? The restaurant? That's what I'm imagining.

Are there no eateries within walking distance of your house (as you clearly live in a big city) that they could travel to?
Or is Westfield ( wild guess ) really that enthralling?

YANBU

Me too, Puppy

Do you actually know your FiL's GF that well?

( and a lunch would have been far more suitable)

I have a 2.5 year old and a 12 week old. I am not especially precious about bedtime but DS goes to bed before 8 for a good reason - he's knackerer by then! Not a chance in hell I'd be getting on a train then - it would be horrible for all involved (he definitely wouldn't sleep eother). In fact going out at 4.30 for a 1.5hr train journey would be bad enough, that's the evil hour when they're both hard work!

Maybe they've booked a table in a Morrison's caff.

Travelling 3 hours on public transport for any occasion is a bit much. Travelling on a Friday night when your kids are tired and there are drunken party people about is a nightmare. I wouldn't do it for my nearest and dearest and certainly not for a FIL's new girlfriend's parents

YANBU. No. And No again. I would not even consider it. I wouldn't do it even if we took the car. On holiday, or for a very special occasion I let mine stay up late. Otherwise no.

I wouldn't go but I wouldn't have cancelled at such notice, that will come across as a snub.

Can you suggest a nice lunch? Somewhere mutually more convienient for everyone?

It's not fair to try to keep children up later than they want to be.

YANBU. If they are that keen to meet your kids then they should either: 1) Come nearer to you guys to eat of an evening rather than expect you to travel for 90 minutes in the dark on a train with a toddler and young baby, and be a bit more flexible on restaurant.
2) Meet at lunchtime at the weekend or similar, so it's not so disruptive.

And yes, they do also sound a bit weird.

I certainly wouldn't bother! x

It sounds lie hell - but I would have to go, it all sounds so odd that the nosey cow in me couldn't miss it!

YANBU, in the slightest. Am really wondering what special place they have chosen though, at a shopping centre...The name thing is very strange, why, just why!
Relax when the little ones are abed and have a

Yeah we know her quite well, FIL doesn't visit without her.

Not Westfield Talkin , we're actually in the sticks and this shopping centre is our nearest destination for fine restaurants such as Nando's and Pizza express. They're travelling the same distance as we would be, but in a nice warm car and half the travel time.

No chance to rearrange, they go back to the states next week!