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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to keep the buggie for 4year old DS?

175 replies

floppyfanjo · 07/03/2014 09:20

Off to the tip this weekend and was wondering if The pushchair should now go in the "going" pile ?

I've kept it up until now for emergency use eg if Ds is poorly and I need to get him to the Doc's etc.

Anyway we are off to Turkey in July (DS will be 4.6) and I'm thinking it may be useful in an evening or if we've got a long walk back from the beach etc.

DP thinks it should go and we wont end up using it anyway.

Would you keep it until after the holiday ?

OP posts:
Meepers · 07/03/2014 14:50

I wasn't referring to grey gardens post.

As you have said she has admitted she judges (kind of because she also said in RL it doesn't bother her)

Funnyfoot · 07/03/2014 14:50

Because this is mumsnet Meepers and you are judged by those who never judge for judging or having a difference of opinion which by those who judge the judgers deem to be judging.

So much judging I think I may have a Wine which I will be judged upon. Probably. But that's ok because everyone judges sometimes, even the judgers of those who judge!

theborrower · 07/03/2014 14:52

Also a bit shocked at the judgy posts on here, especially the boob/ biscuit thing in the first reply.

DD is 3.5 and we still use the buggy if we're out for the day. She's teeny - in 18-24 or 2yo clothes - and can't manage really long walks, and I can't carry her for long because I'm pregnant. Also, sometimes you just can't go at the pace of a slow walking teeny thing, especially if you've a long way to go. We live in a city so rarely drive (in fact, we only got a car a couple of months ago) so we're generally big walkers. I don't know when we'll stop using it for her, but we're planning on getting a buggy board when DC2 comes along.

OP, keep it.

miaowmix · 07/03/2014 14:54

Hmm, I suppose what I mean is, like most things in life, I don't really give a huge toss about this issue, but since you ask in AIBU then I guess yabu. That's pretty much it.

But I actually don't care if anyone does judge me, for anything really. I am quite confident in my 'life skills'.

5madthings · 07/03/2014 14:55

How far are those that don't use pushchair for 2/3 yr olds walking?

My school run is two miles, so 8 or 12 miles a day depending if it's a day with pre school as well. I have to walk, and I have to get there onetime so yes my three year old goes in the buggy on the way. She often walks or scooters home but in the mornings we just need to get there and it's too far for her to walk 8-12miles a day, five days a week. And that's just school runs. So trips to town,shops, toddler groups etc all on top of that.

2tiredtocare · 07/03/2014 14:55

I don't think there is anyone that doesn't judge something but I'd keep my mouth shut especially if it was something I was lucky enough not to have to do and saying you judge on here but not in real life doesn't make any sense to me

2tiredtocare · 07/03/2014 14:56

Good for you Greygardens

Waltonswatcher1 · 07/03/2014 14:57

I am sure lots of kids who are kept in a buggy for too long actually do more walking than those who aren't !
That's because I am guessing buggy users probably walk more and still need the buggy . Car users walk less and therefore can rid themselves of it sooner . Or sm I thinking too much and trying to justify it ?!
My dd2 rarely uses the pram , she likes to walk . This isn't an issue as we live in the sticks and go everywhere in a car.

Bramshott · 07/03/2014 14:58

I have never understood some of the judginess on here about buggies Confused.

Both of my DD's continued to use the buggy on occasion, up until they went to school. It made things easier, if for example we were on a long walk, or I needed to rush around the shops.

They are now 7 and 11 and have no problem walking everywhere. I'm slightly baffled as to what people think might happen if a child still uses a buggy occasionally at 4?

Jollyb · 07/03/2014 15:01

Not sure about this one. Think I'd be tempted to keep it for the holiday.

Don't be worried about what others think - we went on holiday earlier in the year with SIL and BIL. We were in a shopping mall and they went off and bought a buggy for their 8 year old daughter! To make matters worse it wasn't the most robust one and a wheel came off - they had the cheek to return it to the shop despite it being used by a child double the weight limit.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/03/2014 15:01

Haven't read full thread it's several pages.
Keep buggy til after holiday.

If he gets sick or very tired he can sleep in it without you having to cut evenings short to take him to bed.

Better to have and not use than need and not have.

RonSwansonsLushMoustache · 07/03/2014 15:02

If I thought there was any chance that DS would sleep in a buggy giving DH and I the chance to linger over an evening meal on holiday I would consider it worthwhile taking it with me.

Twattyzombiebollocks · 07/03/2014 15:04

I'll never forget the year my dd was 6 and we didn't take the buggy on holiday with us. Every single night she fell asleep on my knee after dinner and we then had to carry her deadweight around with us until we were ready to go back to the hotel. Which was about 10 minutes after we finished eating as she was bloody heavy. It actually did spoil the holiday as who the hell wants to go to bed at 8pm? I'd rather take a pushchair and not need it than leave it behind and wish I had taken it.

SomethingkindaOod · 07/03/2014 15:07

I used a buggy until it stopped being needed, forget the age, it's the ability that counts. DS went to reception class a few times in it, as did DD1. DS regularly hikes 15/20 miles with his Dad these days and you can practically see his ribs so no obesity epidemic here! I'll carry on using ours for as long as I need and would take it on holiday with a 4 year old.
Think about it, if you see an extra place that you want to visit, you can without having to wonder if your LO will cope with the extra walking, so you can stay out longer and he will be able to stay up with you longer in the evenings.
No brainer, YANBU.

Edendance · 07/03/2014 15:17

I can't drive at work so it's trains and buses everywhere. When I've got both children I look after I usually use the double on day trips out, even though the eldest is 3.5 now. It doesn't mean he sits in it all the time, certainly not but it does mean I can get them on and off public transport more easily and safely, and it has somewhere for her to be when she's tired of walking, especially towards the end of the day.

I feel more judgy when I see other childcarers juggleling children in bad weather and when the children are tired and on a day trip or walking a long way when the parent decided they were too big for the buggy tbh.

Do what's right for your family (and any childcarers you might have!!) I don't think it's a big deal to keep it until after the holiday if it means you'll have a more relaxing time together. But like other have said, don't put it in the tip- such a waste.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/03/2014 15:20

People really do stare judgily when we have dd in her SN buggy.

She is 7 but looks 9. Hard to believe people would think we were voluntarily pushing a 9 year old around for no reason but people clearly think it.

You cannot imagine the stares we got when she was once eating fries from Mcds in it. Everyone staring disapprovingly at us.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/03/2014 15:21

And she is very slim.

WillowB · 07/03/2014 15:27

I had know idea that 'buggy judgers' existed out there. My son is 2 and not walking yet due to hypermobility/low muscle tone. We already get funny looks at soft play because he shuffles around. He won't be out of a buggy for a long time. Seems like we have a few more years of raised eyebrows to contend with then.

DomesticDisgrace · 07/03/2014 15:29

It's mad that people get so on edge when people disagree with something in AIBU of all places!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/03/2014 15:31

Willow..hopefully you will develop the thick hide of the SN parent and be able to shrug off the judging.

I usually can except last time we took DD to zoo..everyone stared and whispered about her..haven't felt like going since

Edenviolet · 07/03/2014 15:33

My dcs have eds, ds1 is 7 and sometimes uses a buggy. We get stares sometimes but not too much, oh, except for the time he wanted to take his boots off in the buggy and wore a pair of beige gloves on his feet. People really DID stare then. He looked like a boy/chicken cross!

WillowB · 07/03/2014 15:36

fanjo thanks it's thickening up nicely, though if one more well meaning stranger tells me "he'll get there..."

AllThatGlistens · 07/03/2014 15:37

Once again finds myself on a thread with Fanjo discussing judgemental idiots Smile

You don't get a smug badge for not using a buggy you know. (Although perhaps that may be an idea!)

My youngest is 3.5, on the 95th centile for height and weight and has severe Classic Autism, significant developmental delay and Hypermobility Syndrome.

I cannot begin to tell you the glee I felt when I pushed him onto the school yard in January to pick his siblings up in his brand new wheelchair.

The amount of people who looked at him, then gazed sheepishly at the ground when they saw him in a wheelchair was astounding and I revelled in their embarassment.

You see, for months I had been getting filthy looks and tuts at the sight of me having him in a buggy, so to see their discomfort when they finally realised he needed to be transported was a silent 'fuck you' to their judginess.

It doesn't matter what others think, if your child will benefit from having a buggy to rest in when they need it, then use it Smile

Meepers · 07/03/2014 15:39

Is anyone really smug about not using a buggy though? I'm not. I don't see why anyone would be.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 07/03/2014 15:40

We can't actually win..if DD sits quietly people judge her for being in buggy. If she makes 'noises' or flaps people go silent and awkwardly stare past her or kids whisper and stare.

So need the big thick hide.

OP..use the buggy and you can borrow my thick skin to ignore the judgers.