Overnight guests after birth of second child

[Beachcombergirl]

I have family who live a long haul flight away. I love them dearly and always look forward to seeing them (normally once every couple if years).

They have booked flights to visit around my due date for second child and would like to stay for a few nights once baby arrives. I am filled with panic and dread. They have said they don't mind sleeping on floors etc (there are 5 of them) and I know they'd be hurt if I suggest they stay in a b&b or similar. I feel terrible as, of course I want to see them, but I have no idea how I'm going to feel with a newborn and a toddler to manage.

I think they think it's ok as they have had overseas visitors very soon after they have had kids. They have a massive house however so this may have made a difference to making to easier.

Aibu to not want them to stay overnight?

[Wigsy]

No. Don't. I had long-term houseguests around the time my second baby was born and I loved them dearly, but they nearly drove me to a full-on nervous breakdown. I wanted to be all kind and accommodating, but you can't be all things to all people. It's an important time of transition from being a family of 3 to a family of 4, and you need quiet time with your toddler without loads of people making it overwhelming.

When the baby came along, we had a day of overexcited pain-in-the-arse visitors that just had to come over right away and make squealing noises. I let them come, just to get their visits all over and done with. After they'd finally gone my little daughter, then 3, climbed on the sofa next to me and just asked to cuddle her baby brother. It was too much for her, and that was just with daytime visitors, people she knew and loved really well. I made sure the next few days were visitor-free and very, very easy-going. We all needed some hush.

I know others have pretty much convinced you to put yourself first but I just wanted to weigh in too. Stick to your guns. x

[AnyFucker]

make them research accomodation options

and don't you dare move out of your house !

[Delatron]

No way. I'm sorry but I can't believe anybody would do this? Invite themselves to stay the day after you have given birth? I would be pretty angry to be honest! How thoughtless. You need to be very clear that this is not on.

[CaptainTripps]

That has got to be the daftest reply I have ever read on here - the suggestion that you move out into an apartment temporarily to accommodate these people.

*scratches head at the wonderful weirdness of folk