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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect the boss to know that i meant to spell the word huge with an E on the end

53 replies

finefatmama · 06/03/2014 12:11

woke up yesterday and realisd that I had an emergency plumber coming in to fix a leak, a meeting with social services regarding ds1 and had promised to take my sister and BIL to the airport so I sent a text to the boss at 6 a.m asking for the morning off which ended up including a request for it as a "...favour. huug this time"... as I wa a little overwhelmed and should have planned better etc. Was contacted by the PA to let me know that he'd rather I just took the day off to sort things out instead and that we need to talk when I have things under control.

Have been avoiding him all day today but surely he must know that I was asking for a 'huge favour' not a hug as I am known for being the tough one in the office and let this one go. how to boldly approach the conversation...

OP posts:

LayMeDown · 06/03/2014 12:17

What makes you think his issue is with your misspelling? I think it's far more likely he's annoyed with you wanting the morning off at short notice and/or texting him at 6 am.

Musicaltheatremum · 06/03/2014 12:17

Are you sure he's not wanting to talk to you about taking the morning off at the last minute rather than the typo? You must have known about your morning's arrangements before 6am on the day.

Musicaltheatremum · 06/03/2014 12:18

Oops cross post

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/03/2014 12:19

Well it sounds like you had a lot planned so why you didn't just take the day off is a bit beyond me. Did you seriously wake up and think, shit I've a busy day, let's see if I can get the morning off work??

I don't blame your boss for wanting a word, stuff like that is what leave is for, not hug or huge favours.

LayMeDown · 06/03/2014 12:19

As for approaching the conversation, just mail him and say 'x (PAs name) said you wanted to have a talk. Let me know when is a good time'

Ratbagcatbag · 06/03/2014 12:23

Sorry, you don't just realise at 6am that you have an emergency plumber coming that morning, or a meeting with social services and you also don't just remember you have an airport run to do that morning too.

I would suggest you use your phone as a diary/organiser and note things in advance.

I agree with Laymedown, a 6am text is not good, you could have text at any point over the weekend. With regards to it being a huug rather than huge, I wouldn't worry it about, he will understand what you meant. unless you routinely hug him.

TwinklySprout · 06/03/2014 12:26

I don't think your spelling of huge is the issue here.

It was 6am. You probably woke your boss up. You let him down by begging time off work with absolutely no notice. The fact that you seem - from your OP - to think this is an OK way to behave suggests you might have form for being unreliable.

Sorry to be harsh. And sorry if I've made an assumption too many and you've never before taken a single day off in the ten years you've worked there. But I know from experience that dealing with employees who do this sort of thing is really really difficult.

CoffeeTea103 · 06/03/2014 13:09

You come across as very unaware in general if you actually think it's about your spelling. If I was your boss, i would also want a word being texted at 6am on short notice!
You knew you had all these things planned why didn't you make better arrangements?

MrMacadoo · 06/03/2014 13:10

I don't think this is down to a typo. The fact that you have asked for a favour and followed it with the words "huge this time" suggests to me you might ask for quite a few favours

Sallystyle · 06/03/2014 13:13

you really thought this was down to a typo?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 06/03/2014 13:14

Do you work in an industry where your boss was already at work at 6.00am?

Original poster

finefatmama · 06/03/2014 13:16

to put it in context, we have an agreement about me flexing my time or working from home if I need to be free from distractions as long as I inform him by 7 am which has worked in the past so I'm fairly certain that's not the issue. unfortunately thats generally how my annual leave gets used up as I hardly get to take any proper time and am usually at risk of forfeiting by the end of the leave year.

it was the PA's response that he'd rather I took the day off instead. Instead of what? i wanted the morning off to begin with. He's very sensitive about issues which he perceives have to do with religion, sexuality or anyting remotely suggestive.

OP posts:

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 06/03/2014 13:18

I think a 6am text because you've just thrown up everywhere and won't be at work is fine.
It's not fine to text at 6am to ask for time off for preplanned stuff. I guess that's what he wants to talk to you about, rather than a typo.

HelloBoys · 06/03/2014 13:18

ITA sorry. You need to be better organised and book time off in advance - eg leave etc.

You obviously knew about the airport trip and the social services visit.

The emergency plumber is a bit of a curve-ball but you could have asked your DH/DP about this.

Sometimes being scatty is forgiven, sometimes it's not but I know I've been either told or got the impression if I've - taken too much time off, been late a few times etc and then it's the time to pull your socks up and get organised. people get tired of having to carry the can or saying 'ohfinefatmama's' always doing this, taking unplanned time off etc.

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 06/03/2014 13:18

X- post

In that case, why not just go and see him then?

squeakytoy · 06/03/2014 13:20

" that he'd rather I took the day off instead. Instead of what?"

instead of half a day obviously.. and you need to manage your time better as the appointment was hardly last minute, nor was agreeing to take someone to the airport

HelloBoys · 06/03/2014 13:20

OK - seeing your reply (which I hadn't seen just now).

You REALLY need to speak to your boss to see if it's STILL ok to do what you do now, flexi time, text by 7am etc - as it sounds as if just maybe he's not happy with this or the way you do this and wants to do it another way.

there's no way it's down to the misspelling but me if I were your boss wouldn't be happy with how you've planned this and the 6am text.

BrandNewIggi · 06/03/2014 13:21

Re the typo. Email him to say "thank for helping me out with that huge favour yesterday".
Job done.

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 06/03/2014 13:22

^^ what iggi said about emailing

HelloBoys · 06/03/2014 13:22

also your last sentence - how has this got ANYTHING to do with religion, sexuality or remotely suggestive?!

I think you'd do well to remember that he's your BOSS. He can word or tell you to do what he likes within reason especially re your taking time off unplanned and not part of holiday etc.

MrMacadoo · 06/03/2014 13:23

maybe this arrangement isn't working for him anymore? just bite the bullet and see what he wants

TippiShagpile · 06/03/2014 13:27

I suspect you've hit the nail on the head with your comments about using up you annual leave with days off here and there.

It is so incredibly frustrating employing someone who may or may not work that day and it's incredibly disruptive.

I suspect your boss wants to say "Look, it's not working. You can't chose to work only on the days you don't have anything else to do. You need to commit to be a part of the team. I was happy with you not working the odd day here and there (2 or 3 times a year) but not on a completely piecemeal and unreliable basis"

MsMarvel · 06/03/2014 13:28

Bit surely you see a difference between flexi working and working at home, to asking for time off to do obviously planned in advance appointments hat have nothing to do with work?

flowery · 06/03/2014 13:30

If his PA has said he wants to speak to you, why are you avoiding him? Instead of musing on here as to whether he's concerned about your spelling or (probably) your unreliability, go and see him and find out.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/03/2014 13:32

Well I imagine by flexi time it is for stuff like an appointment....OR...a plumber.....OR an airport drop where can easily make the time up after hours. You would be working till midnight surely if you plan on making the time up to do all three things?

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