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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to punch my maternity cover in his egotistical face?!

180 replies

McFox · 05/03/2014 11:00

I come off work in 11 weeks - yipee! However the boss has thrown me a massive project before I go off, so I've had very little time to go through the whole advertising and interview process to find a replacement. We were offered someone from a sister organisation with the same background to me, albeit from a completely different industry (I work in a very specialised part of the healthcare industry) and so we hired him and brought him in early to take over the more routine bits of my job while I concentrate on directing the major project.

So far so sensible, but he is really ambitious, a total climber. When I've asked him to do something over the past 2 weeks (that's how long he's been here) comments I've had back include "I don't understand the context so I can't give you an opinion on whether that's the right thing to do or not" and "I'm not sure that you're coming at this from the right angle, I would suggest..." - I want to scream. I wasn’t asking for opinions, I was asking for it to be done!

He has also: kept ideas to himself until we're in external meetings with clients where he makes the suggestion, putting me in an awkward position; been telling my staff to make changes to things without discussing it with me first; telling me that I should be considering doing x/y/z. This is all driving me mad – partly because I’m a control freak and have built and been successfully running this department for 3 ½ years, and partly because I have a horrible feeling that the minute I leave he is going to dismantle lots of my hard work to show what he’s achieved while he’s been in the post.

He’s on a fixed term contract, I’ll only be off for 9 months, and will be working a couple of days a month from December onwards, so he knows that I’m not walking away entirely (and I don’t think that he’s happy with that, but tough, my CEO is very happy with that plan).

So, what do I do – he has an awful lot to learn about this industry and is going to cause problems if he carries on being so opinionated. Several colleagues have commented that he rubs people up the wrong way/thinks a lot of himself, so should I keep schtum and let him hang himself so to speak, or speak to my boss and raise these concerns? I am so nervous about leaving at a critical time in the growth of the business anyway, and my boss knows this, that I don’t want to come across paranoid, but neither do I want him messing things up!

OP posts:
thatswhatimtalkingbout · 07/03/2014 08:51

I wish I had had people like you lot on a forum like this 10 or even 20 years ago! This is great advice.

NoodleOodle · 07/03/2014 08:58

For the next phase of your probationary period... rather than going forward?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/03/2014 09:06

He's clearly the kind of prick who uses going forward, wasn't it in his email?

TwoThreeFourSix · 07/03/2014 09:09

Excellent thread - am noting the advice as I've just become a manager.

No advice from my side except obviously keep an email trail of your exchanges with boss in copy.

KonkeyDong · 07/03/2014 09:10

ViviPru · 07/03/2014 09:10

I love this thread. Measured, intelligent advice from professional, astute women. Bravo, you lovely nest of vipers. BRAVO!

OddFodd · 07/03/2014 09:22

I have had a man like this reporting to me in the past and yes, he did have an issue with women in senior positions. In my case, he was covering maternity leave for a team member and set about trying to take my job by attempting to build bridges with male colleagues at my level and cut me out. He failed in his takeover bid and ended up leaving the country but it still makes me seethe.

Pollyputthekettle · 07/03/2014 09:27

I love expats suggestion.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 07/03/2014 09:33

I too suspect innate sexism, I think he was told 'maternity cover' and heard 'silly little woman is going off to be wifey and mummy and won't come back leaving the role for the big boys like me'...

Fucking eejit.

Luckily he seems incapable of performing his plan of a hostile takeover bid, so you can stop him in his tracks.

Btw, agree with current wording except miss out the 'concerns' out of 'leave questions and concerns for the end' as I don't think encouraging him to have concerns is necessary!

He ll probably come back with loads of superior rubbish, so have a stock phrase or two up your sleeve - important not to engage with his arguing.

Eg of his rubbish:
I wouldn't be a professional if I stood by and didn't implement my way (which is better than yours)
Etc.

Theodorous · 07/03/2014 10:13

Such is life and the reason I only took 9 days off.

Sortyourmakeupout · 07/03/2014 11:26

My maternity cover made it so unbearable for me when I returned to work that I eventually left.

Next baby I had was born on a Friday night and I was back in work on Monday morning. That replacement tried to as I had a great little job. Fifteen hrs a week for six hundred quid no way was she getting her mitts on that!

Good luck op. He sounds like a sneaky little shit that wants to change things so when you return to work he will have a bit of power of you.

AlpacaPicnic · 07/03/2014 11:38

Oddfodd - he ended up leaving the country?
How scary are you? Wink

IceBeing · 07/03/2014 12:13

This is an awesome thread....it should form part of a MN handbook!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 07/03/2014 12:47

I have covered maternity leave twice. Both times I was hated by the mat leavers because they had been stretching out their workloads to cover a full time job what could easily have been achieved in 1/2 the time.

But I would never have acted the way this guy has.

OddFodd · 07/03/2014 13:30

:o Alpaca

He went to do my job for another part of the company when he realised I wasn't going anywhere although it would be fabulous to imagine I'd terrified him into leaving the UK!

pluCaChange · 07/03/2014 14:35

I love "It will not be necessary for these responsibilities to be expanded."

Grin
ChameleonCircuit · 07/03/2014 16:09

Have you met with knob end, yet, OP? We need details of how hard you stamped on him. Grin

OTheHugeManatee · 07/03/2014 16:36

I'm glad I'm not the only one hanging on for an update on how knobend was put in his place Grin

Allergictoironing · 07/03/2014 16:51

McFox didn't manage to get on line until after 7pm yesterday, so I doubt she'll be able to get an update to us much before that. If not even later, if there's been any fall out from the meeting today!

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 07/03/2014 17:12

He sounds awful!!!! Good luck, it's great that your boss appreciates your worth :)

Pollyputthekettle · 07/03/2014 20:13

We are waiting.........Smile

MummytoMog · 07/03/2014 20:50

Do you think she actually punched him in the throat? Because that would be amazing!

FryOneFatManic · 07/03/2014 21:23

Actually, I'd bet it turned out horrendous and she's already on the Cake to get over it..... By the sounds of him, I wouldn't blame her if it was Wine instead, even if pregnant!

ChameleonCircuit · 07/03/2014 21:25

Maybe she did and can't update because the rozzers have confiscated her phone while she's in the cells! Grin

Anniegetyourgun · 08/03/2014 10:03

Surely not a jury in the land would convict her.