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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated immensely by this person calling their house by its name instead of just saying "my house"

114 replies

Turquoisetamborine · 03/03/2014 19:54

It's my stepmother to be who is revealing herself to be more and more of a narcissist.

She will say "I'm having work done at Gables Boulevard" (not real name of house) or "should we meet at Gables Boulevard before we go out?"

Why not just say I'm having some work done at my house or should we meet at mine before we go out?

I probably am being unreasonable as this is one thing in many that she is doing to irritate and take my dad away from us.

I feel almost like she's talking about her house, which is an average bungalow not a mansion, in the third person.

OP posts:
gimcrack · 03/03/2014 22:25

My in-laws do this. It really pisses me off. What's wrong with 'our house' or 'home'?

My SIL and BIL, who live in a numbered house, also call theirs by a made-up name. It gives me the rage.

Innogen · 03/03/2014 22:28

Waves at university housemate who lived at Flabbymoss (Fake house name!)

When term is over and I go back to Flabbymoss... oh for Christmas at Flabbymoss we....

FUCK OFF. I hated you. For many reasons. Including this one.

Pumpkinpositive · 03/03/2014 22:36

I think it sounds great. Grin

BumpyGrindy · 03/03/2014 22:42

The only person I ever knew who did this OP is a girl who is also an "Hon." and whose parents owned a mahoosive great pile in Surrey in addition to an entire street in Belsize Park.

"Oh you must come to BadgerCum House this weekend...do!"

She was lovely though. I remember when she "came out" to me as the DD of landed gentry and I was Shock as I was naive and couldn't tell.

ListenToTheLady · 03/03/2014 22:54

I realise its fake but Flabbymoss is a great house name! :o

Innogen · 03/03/2014 23:00

Haha Listen! It rhymes with the real name!

NameChangaroo · 03/03/2014 23:04

oh that's hilarious. Even if you live at Pemberley, amongst the masses, to put them at ease, surely it is better to say 'at home'.

LittleBearPad · 03/03/2014 23:15

Yes Han. But the houses with the names in those circumstances are not bog standard bungalows. They tend to be estates.

Doing this with a normal house, when no other properties could be considered home is distinctly naff.

MuttonCadet · 03/03/2014 23:23

Oh, we do this Blush. But we have 3 houses, so it distinguishes between them.

HanSolo · 04/03/2014 00:08

In these straightened times, the houses are not estate-type 'Big House's... far more people used to speaking this way live in more modest accommodation

Original poster
Turquoisetamborine · 04/03/2014 04:32

Yes my dad lives with her. It's his home too.

I've tried to welcome her into the family but she just wants my dad not us so they can get on with it.

Poor postie I say! He has to find her unnumbered house.

What does u and non u mean?

OP posts:
fideline · 04/03/2014 04:46

Name your house Geoffrey with immediate effect.

Name your car, your handbag, your house keys.

Attribute personalities and preferences to them.

If you're feeling particularly exuberant invent, a feud/divorce/property dispute between your pepper pot and your salt cellar.

Do all this with an attitude of robust good humour. You are 'teasing' her about her 'charming' foible. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I am taking rather strong painkillers Smile

She sounds dreadful, BTW, I bet she has extremely stiff hair and a liking for nylon.

DarlingGrace · 04/03/2014 05:00

She's going to pick up on your hostility. Try being nice to her and making a friend of her and you might find you actually like her. If you keep showing this level of outward resentment then your father will vote with his feet.

fideline · 04/03/2014 05:16

You won't 'win' with someone like this. The more she senses your dislike, the worse she will get.

Can you completely lower your expectations of time and input from your Dad for a year or two and see if she settles down?

Birdsgottafly · 04/03/2014 05:27

This isn't about anything that comes out of her mouth is it?

Your Dad, for whatever reason, perhaps you're the UR ones, being adults, isn't behaving as you would like him to.

JessePinkmansMom · 04/03/2014 05:30

I would find that extremely irritating unless she:

A) has two houses that she alternates between regularly, and is specific for the sake of clarity,

b) lives at Downton Abbey.

Sounds like she's having delusions of grandeur.

I used to have a teenage friend who's Dad drove a Jaguar and she would always say 'Dad will pick us up in the Jag' and 'we were on the motorway in the Jag...'

I think it's completely acceptable to slap someone if they do this.

Slight hijack here, but the other thing that really winds me up is when people talk about their parents as 'Mum' and 'Dad' instead of 'my parents' or 'my mum/ my dad.'

So they might say 'I went to see Mum yesterday.' or 'Had a lovely weekend, I took Dad out for lunch.' It's too familiar - I don't know them, they are not my parents, stop talking to me as though I am somehow emotionally invested/connected to them. Hmm

bluebeanie · 04/03/2014 06:07

Haha. A tad pretentious. I had a colleague once who always called his car his Audi. 'I'll just pop this box into my audi'. It wasn't even a nice one bless him.

NobodyLivesHere · 04/03/2014 06:15

I used to live in a house that was just a name, I felt like a total twatwaffle every time I gave anyone my address. I've also lived in many houses, and will refer to the old houses by street to differentiate between which former address I'm talking about, but the one I currently live in is 'my house'. So no, you are not being unreasonable (unless she owns more than one house).

NobodyLivesHere · 04/03/2014 06:17

JessePinkmansmom!!! Yes! Someone else who agrees with me on that. My ex did it...'mum rang, dads not very well' they aren't my mum and dad! Stop it!

everlong · 04/03/2014 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coralanne · 04/03/2014 06:20

My DS's partner does this but it does save confusion. She has 5 investment properties and is always doing work on them. She'll say

I'm going to the Waterloo house, or the Cambridge house. etc.

NobodyLivesHere · 04/03/2014 06:33

If its to diffferentiate between houses you have then that's one thing, but if its your only house why would refer to it by the address?!
If I'm out with my children at the park I don't say 'come on children lets go to 67 Tree st' I say 'lets go home now for the billionth bloody time'
If I'm making arrangements with my friends I don't say 'come over to 67 tree st at 7 with Shedfuls of wine' I say 'meet at my house at 7'.

everlong · 04/03/2014 06:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 04/03/2014 06:41

My parents had a London house and a country house. The London house was always known by its street name (eg Cedar Road) and the country house by its name. Within the family that's what we all call them, even though the London house has now been sold. Does it make a difference that the names are what the houses have always been called, and are called by both the postman and all the local people too?

Justnapping · 04/03/2014 06:44

My friend does this!! She only has one house!! It does my head in!!!!!!!!! YADNBU