Apologies in advance this is long!
So I have gone nc with mil and sil. Yesterday dh went to visit mil with my dd. She got all emotional as dd has changed so much and she misses her terribly and feels she missing out ( she still sees her once a week!) my dm lives away and has to go weeks/ months without seeing my dd. Anyway, dh informed her i have said for him to go to her more if he wishes but he chooses not to due to dds bedtimes/ work etc making it difficult.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking once a week to see dd for mil is enough anyway!?
So dh came home and said he had lovely time and his mum has asked if i will be willing to ' draw a line under everything that has happened and move on ' as ' we have ALL learned lessons from the fallout.' Now- She phoned me and gave me shit because me and dh argued!? None of her buisness and not the first time she done it! Then sil gets involved and threatens to hit me... But I am now expected to just move on and learn from it as she says ' neither of us are gojng to apologise' - i have nothing to say sorry for!
According to her i said horrible things too, but dh pointed out to her i hardly said horrid things, just my opinion and that I was defending myself!
I can proudly say i kept my cool and told dh I would think about it. But inside im raging!! Dh doesnt give a monkeys about sil by the way, just wants me and mil to make up. I also think this is terribly double standard to make truce with dm but still have nc with sil- sil was an idiot, but she was sticking up for mil- who is a perpetual victem and caused all this mess!!
What's more, dh has said if we do just move on then she can. 'Only' stay once a month overnight. I dont want her to stay at all! Yes she did help when dd was born by getting up with her and just generally being an extra pair of hands- but even back then i found her incessant self pitying grating and would rather she didn't stay a lot of times she did.
She is guilt tripping dh saying all she has done is trying to help us and she has to pay off the sofa she bought us for xmas this week. She bloody does that a lot! Gets us gifts then throws it back in our face, I have told her before i didnt want her to borrow money and dh fell out with me.
I want to do the right thing by my dd and dh ultimately. Maybe I should give her a second chance? :/ i just feel she still playing the victem and hasn't really learned anything as she doesn't want to discuss anything with me and just wants to move on . What should i do?
Am I being unreasonable? I just feel if i let this all go she will keep causing trouble (as she does)