3 day hen

[WeightyKaty]

Bit over the top isn't it? I get that it's important to celebrate with your friends but most people will have to travel to the wedding too.

I guess it depends. If you are a group of friends for whom holidaying or going away for a weekend is something that you do anyway then it's not such a big deal. But what if you're inviting a bunch of people who don't necessarily know each other but are having to spend a fair bit of money and time on a holiday with people they won't necessarily get on with then that can be quite a big ask.

In theory the bride should know the potential invitees well enough to know what would be a suitable ask. In practice this doesn't always seem to be the case.

Raffles that's exactly it. My step sister had a three day hen do planned. It was just assumed that I would be there.I couldn't manage it financially, or logistically as a lone, working parent. When she found out I wasn't going, she told my step mum to tell me that I was no longer going to be doing a reading at the ceremony and DD was no longer flower girl. I was so hurt, it's still hurtful now but there was just no way I could have done the hen do.

Most hen dos I have been on have different people attending just for some bits and some people for everything. I don't see the problem really. Hen does what she wants to do and friends choose some/all/none. Unless hen is demanding people come to all or splitting costs for accommodation isn't done fairly etc. Just go to the day/bit you like the most or don't go.

Went to a recent 2 night/ 3 day hen do. Wasn't really my cup of tea as I'm much older than most of the others and not really into dressing up, naked waiters etc but I could easily have said no.

This is my idea of social hell. I have never enjoyed hen parties including my own.

I like a good drink and guzzle wine no end and a dance, but the whole hen thing, forced enjoyment, lacking in taste and worst of all friends and family thrown together from different areas of bride to be's life - ructions I tell ya.

No No NO....I wo uld wholly resent the money on a three day one too. Completly OTT.

Echo that you can definitely say no - I was a bridesmaid last year and didn't go on the hen do. It was a weekend away with posh meals and a spa day and nights out to expensive cocktail bars. The bride and party were all well-off, late twenties/early thirties and easy access to travel. I'm a poor student, late teens and only likely to have embarrassed myself with too many jaegerbombs, which apparently isn't the done thing at these events

I've been invited to two 3 day hen do's this year and it's costing me an arm and a leg! I have an 11 week old DD who will be 18 weeks for the first one so I am only going for one day/night. I know I could say no but I am too scared of upsetting anyone!

I'm getting married next year, and one of my old school friends announced she thinks we should go to Budapest for a week she couldn't understand it when I said a) I didn't want to be away from DD and DP for that long and b) it would be far too expensive. She was quite unimpressed when I told her I was planning on a meal and night out in my home city.

Just seems to be the done thing now, in my experience!

But to those saying they hate 3day Hens because of thebridezilla reaction when they decline, surely the problem lies with the bride and not with the plans? No doubt there are many many invitees who decline for various reasons and the bride is absoloutley fine with it?

I went on a hen weekend and had a fabulous time. It was basically a weekend away with friends and some women I hadn't known before.

I would want to know the location before accepting OP.
Forced activity (paint balling type stuff) or 2 nights tottering around a city with a group of loud pissed up, barely dressed laydeez or anything that involved a limo or a hummer = no thank you.
2 nights with good friends eating out, chatting, maybe a spa... Maybe.

My DSis had the misfortune to go on a hen in a limo. one of the group ended up getting arrested for assaulting another of the group!

Sounds classy Billy !!

So very much NOT my DS's thing. She was never going to enjoy it, even if it had gone smoothly.

It made for an amusing story to tell me though and that is the most important thing. There is quite a lot more to the story but I daren't say for fear of being outed.

Turns out the hen will be 4 hrs from where most invitees live so have said no. Wedding will be in the same place so that will be £ enough for me. Roll on more local one day hen parties

I love mini holidays with my closest ladies, we don't get much time together nowadays so we all arrange hens that span a weekend. No one is expected to come though, people would be missed if they couldn't/didn't fancy it but -like any night out or holiday away- everyone has different commitments, budgets and wants.

I've been on three great times away and I've declined two. I've never had issues with the bride or anyone else getting upset. I agree with MyNameIsKenAdams that it seems less the hen do itself - which could be anything from little to large- more about entitlement and some people really not having that great friends or family members that they would kick up a stink about a no.

I don't understand why some people would be annoyed about being asked even if it wasn't their thing though, surely at least you've been thought of? And it's acourtesy to be asked, especially if everyone else is too? So long as the bride genuinely wants your company, what's the issue-just decline? I'd ask someone that I would love to have with me, even if they weren't 'that kind of person'. After seeing how much grief a cousin got for not inviting some people on her hen do despite them hating spa dos, I always see it as more courteous. But then I've had the misfortune of seeing some real guestzillas.

I see it as offering around the bourbons to everyone, even if someone's a hob nobber.