3 day hen

[WeightyKaty]

Bit over the top isn't it? I get that it's important to celebrate with your friends but most people will have to travel to the wedding too.

I don't get this current trend at all but I'm an old gimmer. In my day it was a pizza and a few drinks then a taxi home. The thought of spending all that money to go to Barcelona or somewhere would terrify me. But some may like the opportunity for a girly weekend with their close mates. It's a no brainer though, if you like the idea go and if you don't then say no.

If your friends aren't the sort to accept 'I will only be there for one night' then you need to rethink your friends. I don't know anyone who would be offended by this.

DSis had a 5 day hen do across a bank holiday. I felt obliged to go because she's my only DSis and I love her dearly. I would have loved her even more if she'd explained before I got complicated childcare arranged and booked expensive tickets that she was also going to have a local day/evening thing for those that couldn't make the extravaganza abroad.

As someone else said, you don't always feel like you have the option. Luckily, it wasn't a huge issue financially, otherwise I would have wept!

Madness. I went out for a meal for mine. I have zero inclination to go on a mini break with a bunch of woman I barely know. It's my idea of torture.

And it's actually not that easy to just say no. I was invited on a hen weekend last year with a bunch of completely vile bitches women that I cut friendship ties with a few years ago, bar the bride who remained a good pal. I ended up booking a family holiday to clash because none of my excuses were being accepted!

I love going on holiday with my friends. With young families now we don't get much of a chance to do it anymore so I really weekend breaks. I wouldn't go for someone I wasn't close to though. Unless I was a bridesmaid. Sigh.

My typing is horrendous. Again! Sorry.

IME the type of person who books a 3 day hen do is not the type of person to take kindly to people who decline. And when Bridezilla is a family member who has a strop, the fallout can be awful.

I think it has become like everything else in life these days
Extravagant, self serving, over the top and greedy. The latter in terms of wanting bigger and better.
We laugh at Big fat gypsy programmes, but I don't think the rest of society are too far off tbh.

Do none of you like your friends and want to go for a weekend with them and do enjoyable stuff? Surely friends like similar activities and are happy to indulge the hen.

I'd love a weekend away. I just can't justify it nowadays. A £500 hen do (easily spent in a weekend in a foreign city when you factor in travel, accommodation, wine and food) would mean my DC don't get a holiday at all this year. Hen weekends (hell, hen nights) represent too great a proportion of the family budget.

In my circle of friends the bridesmaids book the do and the location / activities are a secret to surprise the bride. So nobody demands that people come, we just invite close friends / family and if someone can't come, it's no big deal.

Totally OTT as presumably people would have to use precious annual leave for it. A day or night is much better.

Also if the bride wants a big showy three day event, then she should jolly well pay for it all. Guests to the wedding will already have enough costs.

All the hen trips ive been on over the past two years have been two nighters. Ive been to about five. Tbh, I just like a weekend away with friends and dont really care what the reason is.

I love them. Nice city break, couple of nights away from dd for me to just switch off, few g&t's, nice meals. If im a close friend, I will always say yes unless I cannot get the time off work. If its an acquantance, it will depend on more factors.

I understand not everyone likes them, and tbh, I dont think of them as the new hen night - just a good chanceto have a nice trip away ith people that I love.

I think it partly depends on circumstances. I went to one where the bride had just moved to the other end of the country to most of her friends. She wanted to stay near home (and it's a beautiful county) so we went to her. There were people attending from Scotland, London and in between and everyone had to travel. It made sense to offer accommodation and make a weekend of it as no one would have been able to go for a single day. Everything was optional though and lots of people didnt do certain activities, or arrived later, left early etc. It was relaxed and lovely.

I wonder if this is an age thing?

I am 50 and got married at 25, we had a mortgage and lots else to spend our cash on including the wedding.

we had an engagement family meal and a night down the pub as a hen night.

i have friends but wouldn't want to go away with just the 'girls' as I would feel mean spending our cash away from dh and my own kids.

I'm a bit about people who judge ALL people who do something that quite a large number of people find perfectly normal.

All my best friends had weekend hen do's as did I. We could all afford it and all wanted to. I don't get the angst on mumsnet about this either - if it's a problem don't go! So what if hen do's used to be a one night out affair, practically every one I know of nowadays is a bigger thing.

It's perfectly possible to 'indulge the hen' without expecting people to pay over the odds and use annual leave or holiday time, particularly people who don't automatically have weekends off work. Overnight yes, anything longer is too big an ask. I've gone to a couple of 'bigger' hen do's. They were probably less enjoyable in terms of bring knackered/having forked out a fortune/having to spend 3 days with some people that you don't know that well (or particularly like / seemingly shelling out endless £s for food and drink.
But the fallout for NOT going to a family members 3 day hen abroad is almost as bad.

I think it is perfectly fine to say a few of are doing this for my hen do and it will cost this and you're welcome to join us but there's no obligation.

However, this situation and many others I've heard of in the last few years involve people committing time and money to something they know very little about and/ or probably wouldn't choose to do normally, all because some bridezilla wants to call the shots.

I'm going to maga for one of my closest friends hen doo and I can't wait

friends do not necessarily like similar activities!! Most of the women I know like shopping, pop concerts and spa events. All of which are the seventh circle of hell for me, doesn't mean I don't like them.

if this event is too expensive or sheer hell for you, just say - either 'sorry, too expensive' or 'thanks, not for me but have a lovely time'. If the bride chucks the toys out of the pram, she really is not worth any more of your precious three score and ten.

If you want to go go, if not say no. Is it really that hard? Friends often go away for weekends and holidays, it's not that unusual.

Don't see a problem myself. If people can afford to and want to then why not?

It's not my thing but I'm not going to be do petty as to dictate what others should, and should not, be doing.