Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to not understand why Purdy on First Dates gets such a negative reaction from men?

64 replies

physallis · 01/03/2014 19:23

So, have been watching First Dates (if you've not seen it, Channel 4 reality prog where strangers meet in a restaurant for first dates. Bit like online dating - I think they see photos first - but obviously it's filmed, and at the end they give a bit of feedback etc).

Anyway, one of the girls on it, Purdy (who says she's never had a relationship) has been knocked back by both her dates so far, who say she's too talkative.

Some of the comments I've seen online from men discussing the are that she's too full on, needs to calm the fuck down etc, which I don't get, as I think she's pretty great (she reminds me in some ways of a younger version of myself!) and I thought being chatty, confident etc were positive qualities on dates - surely no-one wants to sit in silence?!

to her date in the most recent episode...

OP posts:

JohnFarleysRuskin · 01/03/2014 20:14

His date was very gracious tho' - nice girl.

MimiSunshine · 01/03/2014 20:20

She's lovely. But (and this may just be the editing) she is far too full on for a first date, she appears not to stop talking and it's a bit too all about her.

I really feel for her though because I think she's genuinely nice just nervous and probably been too cosseted, so struggles to find common ground with guys out of her typical social environment.

I thought the first bloke she met was well suited to her and I just wanted to take her to the bar, get her a drink, give her hug bad tell it didn't matter when he said he didn't fancy her. Her face as the light went from behind her smile

harriet247 · 01/03/2014 20:25

I would lovr to be her friend. She seems sooo fun. I think she needs a shy retiring chap who will say 'yes dear' alot but will think she is wonderful really.

SeaSickSal · 01/03/2014 20:33

She's not very nice. The way she talks about other people who can't pronounce her name, she's disinterested in the other person and only wants to talk about herself. It was very rude the way she left him for ages like a lemon to chat in the bog.

The man wasn't actually rude about her, he just didn't fancy her. But no, she was not very pleasant, overly loud and keen on the sound of her own voice and not particularly interested in those around her.

I bet if the bloke she was with had disappeared off to the loo and left her on her own for ages she wouldn't have liked it.

SeaSickSal · 01/03/2014 20:34

Although there appears to be a few blokes on the youtube comments who would be quite happy to slip her a length should she so wish to hook up with randoms on the interwebs.

Original poster

physallis · 01/03/2014 20:35

History man is utterly like the RPG guys I knew as students...

Mimi yes I wanted to hug her after the first date too!

I'm not sure she needs a quiet man, I'd think someone equally as talkative would be more on her wavelength?

OP posts:

wouldbemedic · 01/03/2014 21:34

She has zilch sex appeal from a psychological perspective. No mystery or allure. Can you imagine her in bed?! She forces the other person to laugh and applaud without getting a chance to talk - men hate all that. I would be running for the hills after ten minutes. However my husband thinks she will be marriage material in 10-15 years. Haven't been able to see where he's getting this from.

But yes, OP, if you are still single and you think you're like Purdy, maybe you could learn a lot from this thread...

wouldbemedic · 01/03/2014 21:34

unhappily still single that is - if you want to be like Purdy and don't mind being single that's great :)

Original poster

physallis · 01/03/2014 21:56

I wouldn't say I'm actively unhappy, but I'd certainly like to meet someone :)

I have been in relationships, my last was with a very chatty, sociable man, we would talk all the time. Hence I didn't realise the aspects of my personality he loved (a lot of which I see echoed in Purdy) were so negative as they seem to be on this thread! Wouldbe why does your DH think she would be marriage material in 10-15 years (but presumably not marriage/relationship material now)?

OP posts:

falulahthecat · 01/03/2014 22:20

I think it's a sheer volume issue. She doesn't talk to much, they just all have headaches after 5 minutes..

MamaPain · 01/03/2014 22:29

What is RPG? It doesn't mean there isn't a man for Purdy, it's more that she's what I'd call a bit niche. Whereas some people date quite well and other really well, I think she falls into the category of being a bit harder to find someone for.

Onesleeptillwembley · 01/03/2014 22:34

I got the impression Purdy was a very indulged child, and will always be so. Dp and I were actually wincing at the tv when she was on. Too much, too loud and too 'me'. Blonde girl with the creepy bloke was fantastic - 'I've never eaten peasant, but I've shot peasants'.

ShatnersBassoon · 01/03/2014 22:35

I imagine she's exhausting company. I don't think she could read a book for long or sit through a film without a running commentary.

The ponytail bloke is exactly like a couple of men I've worked with. IT professionals, roll play, board games, socially awkward...

pinkstinks · 01/03/2014 22:38

I quite liked her but she did have scary eyes especially hen she was waiting fr the first man to answer if he liked her or not... Long awkward silence.
I know the guy with the stammer in real life and he has said the editing is crazy and he has been defending the first girl he had a date with as he said it wasn't like how it came across at all...

Innogen · 01/03/2014 22:41

I e seen her on another dating show before. I think she's got an agenda.

Innogen · 01/03/2014 22:42

Feel like it was a Cherry Healy show? Anyone else seen it?

FudgefaceMcZ · 01/03/2014 22:43

It's impossible to even understand a fucking word she says in between all the 'like ohmigawds' and giggling. Also she has a very annoying voice (though that's subjective so maybe some people love that sort of accent). She comes across as really shallow. I am not sure that most men dislike that, so YANBU.

TheScience · 01/03/2014 22:43

I'm sure she's a nice girl, but I think I'd find it hard to spend much time with her. Too loud, too much, too posh, too me me me.

MamaPain · 01/03/2014 22:49

pinkstinks, I think I remember Grace Dent saying something nice about your friend in the Independent. I liked him too!

I think the poshness doesn't help Purdy, with a different accent she might come across better. Unfortunately, the way she talk means it's all very self-important, entitled and drama student like.

Original poster

physallis · 01/03/2014 22:50

RPG is role playing games.

Funny that she makes people wince, I just think 'isn't she great'!

Can't speak for Purdy, but I know I was an overindulged child . Guessing that makes me a bit niche too. Although a LOT less posh

OP posts:

gobbledegook1 · 01/03/2014 22:50

Its not that being talkative is bad, talkative is good. The problem is not that she was talkative its that she just seemed to waffle and at him rather than to him barely coming up for air or allowing him a word in edge ways. And christ that high pitched screech that is supposed to be a laugh is ear piercing.

LessMissAbs · 01/03/2014 23:15

She's not that bad but is young and perhaps nervous/overly keen to make an impression. Yes, she possibly talks about herself in a little too much detail which is perhaps not too interesting for a stranger, but lots of people do that and many are in relationships!

I wonder if the men are picking up on something that isn't fully apparent on screen. Surely they are not all looking for little quiet clone housewifely types, particularly in their early twenties? Purdy at least seems like someone they could have fun with.

JohnCusacksWife · 01/03/2014 23:23

I think she's probably a lovely girl underneath but WAY too full on at first...a bit overwhelming. i think most people would be put off a bit at first so wouldn't take the time to dig any deeper. She just needs to take it down a notch.....

BumpNGrind · 01/03/2014 23:33

Purdy seems lovely but as a friend for a woman, not as a girlfriend. Even then I kind of feel like she'd talk about you behind your back. I say this because she seems to be the kind of person that needs a drama or needs to fill a silence.

I enjoyed watching Clare (the woman who went on a date with the sex pest)she seemed like she knew what she wanted and was able to see through her date but in a nice way.

ShatzePage · 02/03/2014 00:00

Pinkstinks-has your friend met anyone yet? I thought he was lush and couldnt understand why he was single.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread