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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby shower

56 replies

puddingsforsandy · 01/03/2014 19:05

I have been invited to a baby shower. I don't think I have ever attended one and if I have, it would have been more of a gathering but without the name.

I received a text from friend saying her mum will be in contact via email for all guests to receive a gift list. She ended the text saying she's had to do this as she has bought so much stuff esp clothes and nappies already but it's the big things that she hasn't yet done. Wtf? big things to me mean prams and cots.

I feel quite anxious about this email that hasn't yet arrived as this month, financially its been a squeeze and I fear I won't be able to afford something decent.

I was planning on buying a baby outfit but the text sounds quite specific.

They have hired a big hall and all the trimmings etc. Sigh it sounds like so much hard work. Scared to look like a cheapskate/mean person.

any mistakes blame it on my phone!

OP posts:
WitchWay · 01/03/2014 19:06

Urgh it sounds dreadful

WooWooOwl · 01/03/2014 19:08

You so called frind is basically telling you that clothes aren't a good enough gift.

Cheeky cow.

Gift list for babies is just vulgar.

In your position, I'd be busy that day. Baby showers are incredibly dull events anyway.

BuilderofDuplo · 01/03/2014 19:08

Do you know anyone else going, maybe some of you could club together to buy a bigger item like bouncer chair, moses basket or whatever's on the list?

Original poster
puddingsforsandy · 01/03/2014 19:08

I have already accepted the invitation and to pull out now seems impossible. They have paid caters etc.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 01/03/2014 19:10

You would have to pull out if you were ill on the day, OP Wink

WooWooOwl · 01/03/2014 19:10

Then be ill instead. Or have some major household emergency. It doesn't really matter if you come across as rude by pulling out, it's rude to ask fit specific gifts for stuff you should be providing your child with yourself.

Original poster
puddingsforsandy · 01/03/2014 19:10

It's that whole opening presents in front of guests that's making break into a cold sweat!

OP posts:
UncleT · 01/03/2014 19:10

Oh my goodness, it sounds hideous. This imported 'baby shower' crap is getting out of hand.

Guests? Lists? BIG THINGS?

It all sounds shockingly pretentious and grabby.

UncleT · 01/03/2014 19:11

Caterers???

MrsSpencerReid · 01/03/2014 19:12

Having just had a baby I would have appreciated something like an IOU a big fat chocolate cake/ afternoon tea/ big dish of lasagne etc you get the idea, it's what people have done for me rather than what they have bought that has meant the most. I would just ignore the email, maybe your junk filter is over enthusiastic?!Wink

ButEmilylovedhim · 01/03/2014 19:13

Gosh! Does sound like hard work and possibly grabby I would wait for the gift list and then see but wow! A gift list?! The world has gone mad. I certainly wouldn't buy anything more than you can afford. Not on at all. A baby gift to me means a couple of babygrows or a rattle or a packet of bibs. Surely they don't expect anyone to buy a cot or a pram?! (Sorry, not particularly coherent. Just Shock

mammmamia · 01/03/2014 19:16

Why aren't they spending the money on baby stuff instead of hiring caterers and a hall?
The mind boggles.
I have been to quite a few baby showers and they have all been low key, organised by friends of the mum to be at their home, a few cakes, tea and small gifts for the mum to be with absolutely no obligation.

Events like the one you describe are pretty common in the US but I've never been to one here.

HighwayRat · 01/03/2014 19:16

give a £10 mothercare giftcard? You can get cot bedding in tkmaxx usually or asda.

Original poster
puddingsforsandy · 01/03/2014 19:17

Yes caterers. Wrong spelling. Will it be awful just to buy her an outfit and maybe put a tenner in the card and just ignore the list?

It's either that I just can't go. I have had so much demands of late, this seems like another crappy task.

OP posts:
mewkins · 01/03/2014 19:18

Ew this sounds awful. I would make my excuses and buy a gift once the baby arrives (it makes me uneasy giving gifts before a baby is safely delivered).

Gift lists for a baby shower? This is getting out of hand!

KingR0llo · 01/03/2014 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 01/03/2014 19:22

Ignore the list. Or don't go. This doesn't have to be an issue.

GiveTwoSheets · 01/03/2014 19:22

Fuck it i would ignore the list and buy nappies and wipes, bibs and little bit like that! I think its really cheeky to put out a list.

Buy next size nappies up

CoffeeTea103 · 01/03/2014 19:26

How cheeky! Do t

CoffeeTea103 · 01/03/2014 19:26

Sorry don't buy the big stuff, buy what you can and don't feel bad.

HappyMummyOfOne · 01/03/2014 19:32

Dont go, baby showers are tacky and grasping.

Buy a token gift after the baby has been born, the parents should provide for the baby not others via a list.

TotallyAddictedToLurking · 01/03/2014 19:36

I have had this with my sister. My other sister sent an email around telling people what to bring.

They know what I'm like and I will get what I want as it's a gift from me. I won't be dictated to.

I hate baby showers. Both of my sisters have had them and it's an excuse to get people to give you gifts saving them money. It's awful. Why can't people have a party when the baby is here? It would make much more sense.

oldgrandmama · 01/03/2014 19:37

I agree with other posters - grabby! I'd shove a tenner gift voucher (John Lewis, Mothercare) in a card and leave it at that.

UncleT · 01/03/2014 19:38

It's OK, I hadn't even noticed any spelling issues. I was merely exclaiming 'caterers' as in seriously, what the absolute fuck, caterers for a baby-related present giving session??

pebbles1234 · 01/03/2014 19:38

I did have a baby shower, but it was really just an excuse for us girls to have a few (elder) child free hours. I got flowers and a nappy cake, which I thought was fantastic, and then did the same for another friend, they look fab and start from about 20quid... Just a thought....

Or, take her some flowers and say you thought she deserved something just for her, not just baby stuff! Xx