Baby shower

[puddingsforsandy]

I have been invited to a baby shower. I don't think I have ever attended one and if I have, it would have been more of a gathering but without the name.

I received a text from friend saying her mum will be in contact via email for all guests to receive a gift list. She ended the text saying she's had to do this as she has bought so much stuff esp clothes and nappies already but it's the big things that she hasn't yet done. Wtf? big things to me mean prams and cots.

I feel quite anxious about this email that hasn't yet arrived as this month, financially its been a squeeze and I fear I won't be able to afford something decent.

I was planning on buying a baby outfit but the text sounds quite specific.

They have hired a big hall and all the trimmings etc. Sigh it sounds like so much hard work. Scared to look like a cheapskate/mean person.

any mistakes blame it on my phone!

Would you have time to put together a small "hamper".... You could include things she won't of thought of like, comfy pj/nighty, nipple cream, breast pads, nappy bags, hand sanatizer ect along with yummy chocolates, candles, bubble bath, new mummy smellies, knitted baby bootees ect.... It would look amazing & wouldn't break the bank

Ugh. Hideous.

Arter some truly heartbreaking experiences for friends i really don't feel comfortable with presents until the baby is here :(

But if you have to go i second thoughtfulness (voucher for post baby lasagne) over grabby (bugaboo pushchair)

The email might just ask to make contribution at shop where they're getting the pram/ cot. Probably best to see when email comes in.

Is it the norm for people to hire out halls and caterers for a baby shower?

I had mine at my best friends house with a few nibbles and homemade cakes, with my closest friends. I didn't expect any gifts whatsoever but the ones I did were very much appreciated no matter what they were. I would certainly never ask for or expect anything big and/or costly.

We went to one and they put up a Facebook page where everyone wrote what they were buying. I bought a travel cot but others bought outfits, only the parents and close family bought large items. Buy what you want, I'm sure they won't judge you on it. Get a nice box and put lots of little things in it, like toiletries or even something the mum can use in hospital for herself.

Sounds awful. Gift lists in general are pretty awful. In mitigation she might have received one too many hideous baby 'outfits' and cracked but still. Think clubbing together with others (if you're still going!) is the way forward.

Unbelievable! A woman holds a fancy party so everyone can celebrate her fertility and she sends out a gift list! In MN parlance she sounds very grabby.

I've never been to a Baby Shower but I had imagined they were normally a few friends at home for afternoon tea.

What happened to buying a small gift to celebrate a new arrival?

Have you received the guest list yet op? Please share!

Oh god far too OTT!!!!

She is a cheeky grabby twat.

Add message | Report | Message poster coffetofunction Sat 01-Mar-14 19:49:00
Would you have time to put together a small "hamper".... You could include things she won't of thought of like, comfy pj/nighty, nipple cream, breast pads, nappy bags, hand sanatizer ect along with yummy chocolates, candles, bubble bath, new mummy smellies, knitted baby bootees ect.... It would look amazing & wouldn't break the bank

This would not be cheap.

OP decline if you don't want to go. I detest them it's grabby in the extreme.

I'm intrigued by the list. Hoping that there's smellies, bath support etc on there.

I like baby showers and a gift list makes sense. For the superstitious folk it can be delivered after the birth.

I once went to a baby shower. My friend asked her friend to arrange one for her and stood there with a sash on with 'mum to be' on it. (It's her third) we all had to contribute to a Chinese and we're told to buy her pink things. She didn't even do thank you letters or texts afterwards.

I personally think it's a bit grabby. I won't be having one on principle. If they want to buy me/us something then I'd be honoured and will send a lovely thank you note but I totally don't expect it.

WTF? A hired hall? Gift list? Caterers? I don't think I could be arsed to go! Is she a good friend? If so could you just buy an outfit or something and ignore the gift list?
I never had baby showers but I've been to a few and they have all been a small gathering in a home, I bought things like wipes, bibs, socks etc. There was certainly no gift lists!

Presents for babies that have safely arrived. Having known people who have lots their babies close to or during the labour, I buy baby gifts once they are here so as not to tempt fate.

Should I ever be invoted to a baby shower god forbid id tale something for mum to be, at a push.

Please share the list op!

My cousin had hers in a pub - on a Friday night, room booked, caterers, gift list etc.

Barely anyone went (including me - told them honestly that I thought it was bad taste to celebrate a baby who wasn't here yet)

Saw the pics on fb - really poor turnout.

I love baby showers... I usually make over the top diaper cakes or embroidered Baby items as gifts. I never go with the list - but there always is a list. I use it as a guide so I know the theme/colour scheme then just do my own thing.

Buy a cute baby outfit - 6-12 months, not tiny. It will get oohed over far more than high chairs and baths... Nobody remembers who bought the dull stuff off the list, only the pretty gift with personal thought.

Yes yes to sharing the list! It all sounds horribly grabby to me - and agree that if they are strapped for cash for the big ticket things like pram etc., why are they spaffing £££ on a hall, caterers etc?

Sounds awful to me. I am glad my dc (13 and 10) were born before this ridiculous baby shower thing became popular.

I feel most grateful never to have been invited to one as yet.

I had a baby shower for my first child but it was also my birthday - so I combined. I did a gift list because I really wanted baby things not pressies for me but there was nothing on there for more than around £20 -and there were lots of things more less. Hopefully your friend will have been sensitive enough to include some less expensive items on her list... Is she struggling for cash? Maybe she'll just want people to chip in towards the larger items... Definitely don't feel pressured into buying something you can't afford.

My bookgroup did a surprise one for a member. We played silly games and there was a present limit of £1 so, although several of us went over it, it was obvious it was meant to be a token.

The grabbiest baby shower I have seen is a Facebook friend living in panama. She has married a local and I get that they dont Have a lot of money, but their 'virtual baby shower' is mind boggling. They have included everything - from crib to a year's supply of nappies and wipes, to $250 maternity clothes, a $150 scientific textbook "for mommy's sanity", $500 baby clothes and $500 toys. Since they are just expecting cash donations, I think is awful especially as they advertised it several times a week and made comments about how they hoped to drive to town to buy baby things, but not enough donations made yet... Considering I make several donations a year to help fund their project I felt the babyshower was very poor taste.

I was invited to one about 7 years ago -before I had children - it was a not particularly close friend who I'd worked with for a while. The whole thing was organised by another of her friends who I'd met a few times and took an instant dislike to. When she heard that I was invited she insisted to mutual friend that I was uninvited because "I didn't have children and so didn't understand" or some such bollocks.

TBH was quite relieved - the whole idea of an event like that brings me out in a cold sweat!!