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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a wife?

30 replies

softlysoftly · 27/02/2014 00:41

Preferably circa 1950.

Not one of these rubbish modern ones that want to swan about having jobs and drinking wine and having a social life.

Seriously my house is a wreck, my children are semi feral and all I want to come home to is considering what to watch next on Netflix while stuffing creme eggs in my mouth and incubating the next monster to join the menagerie.

It can't just be me that wants one surely?

OP posts:
FamiliesShareGerms · 27/02/2014 00:43

I've always said every woman needs a wife.

HadABadDay2014 · 27/02/2014 00:47

Move to stepford I hear that this is the best place where men can be be men and women have perfect homes and bake cupcakes and go to book groups. They all look amazing as well for when the men folk come home.

MummyBeerest · 27/02/2014 00:51

Yanbu.

I want a beer served to me when I get home and sit and read the news in peace, dammit.

FlippingWhatsername · 27/02/2014 00:52

I don't think you're ever likely to find a wife, to be honest. Better settle for a nice hairy husband and a WoW account.

FlippingWhatsername · 27/02/2014 00:54

I can sell you a seagull if you like? You could marry that?

EBearhug · 27/02/2014 00:54

I've often said I want a wife. Or staff, but I can't afford to pay them, which is getting into slavery, and that's wrong.

EatSleepLaughLove · 27/02/2014 01:14

YANBU.

I'd love a wife - housekeeper, cleaner, childminder, cook, bookkeeper, PA all rolled into one, and likely also bringing additional income into the household as fulfilling all these jobs in her 'spare' time.

EurotrashGirl · 27/02/2014 01:47

There is a famous feminist essay entitled "I want a wife" by Judy Syfers.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/02/2014 01:57

All I want is somewhere for everyone in my family to store their brains. They all store them in my head and it's getting crowded. If they could just remember their own appointments and clashes I would be happy. I need a wife for that.

fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 01:57

I want one too. One who would take off my coat, pour me a G&t and ask me about my day whilst keeping the excited children at bay until I was ready to receive them. I want Mary Poppins. I really do. Or nanny mcphee. She would be pretty awesome too.

fairyfuckwings · 27/02/2014 01:58

I don't even like gin to be honest. Or tonic. But it would be nice to have the option nonetheless.

LettertoHermioneGranger · 27/02/2014 02:05

A friend was telling me about her young daughter reading a book, which happened to feature two mums.

The daughter goes, "There are two mummies in this book!"

"Yes dear."

"But that isn't right! You can't have two mummies! It isn't right!" Friend freezes, unsure how she has unintentionally raised a bigoted child and wondering how to proceed. "Er, what makes you say that, dear?"

"It's not fair! I ONLY GET ONE MUMMY. IT'S NOT FAAAAAAIR."

Won't somebody think of the children? A wife for every mother, I say.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 27/02/2014 04:00

Will half of one do?

Or are you greedy and entitled enough to want a whole one for yourself Grin?

Ericaequites · 27/02/2014 04:10

I have an albatross you could marry, but she doesn't come with wafers.
I'm a lesbian who would like a wife who can mow lawns...

YankeeMum8 · 27/02/2014 04:21

YANBU!!! I want one too!

kentishgirl · 03/03/2014 13:09

I've almost got one gloat

OH works funny shifts and is at home 2 or 3 days a week while I'm working. When I get in on those days he's done all the housework, the kettle is on with a teabag waiting in my special cup for him to make it, and dinner's in the oven. :-)

JennySense · 03/03/2014 13:24

I've kind of got one - DH is my house husband. I've had to relax some standards [like the youngest DD wearing clothing that actually matches] but other than that, he cooks dinner, brings me coffee in bed, does the school runs...
[But then I do work every hour I've got running a business, so if he didn't the house would implode]

Apatite1 · 03/03/2014 13:40

A wife would be awesome.

But really, housework is mostly boring so husband and I have divided the tasks up a long time ago. So he has a wife that cooks and does laundry and I have a wife that washes dishes, cleans rooms (and loos!) and takes out the rubbish. It makes us both feel looked after.

eurochick · 03/03/2014 13:47

I agree OP, it would be awesome. No wonder (some) men resisted feminism. They had it so good!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 03/03/2014 13:52

We're creme eggs around in the 1950s?

pluCaChange · 03/03/2014 14:05

I would compromise on not outsourcing everything, but I would like someone to do all the laundry and the shopping/cooking. With that sorted, I'd even hoover and clean bathrooms with good grace. At least they don't have to be done several times a day, every bloody day!

CheckpointCharlie · 03/03/2014 14:07

flippinWhatshername Confused and Grin

BertieBotts · 03/03/2014 14:10

Surely they should have invented some kind of gadget that does the wifework by now?

I want a wife-droid. It would make DH happy as well because he would be able to fiddle with the new technology.

BuzzardBird · 03/03/2014 14:12

I have a wife who does all that...no wait, that's a mirror :(

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 03/03/2014 14:13

www.amazon.co.uk/Half-Wife-Working-Familys-Getting/dp/0099555743

This is what you need!

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